Need advice fast, regarding stopping contact

RAS

tc I think you also need to talk to the DV officer at your local police station. Ask them to put an alert on your address as that speeds up response times if he turns up at your place.

daska

Really glad to hear your news. I'd still consider seeking the prohibited steps order, but at least now you know you've got SS on-side. Please make sure you speak with the Head at your children's school and work out a plan, not just the class teacher - I had a similar situation with DS1 and his teacher chose not to let the secretary know that there was a problem. DSD's school asked for a photograph of her mother so they would recognise her if she was hanging around - might be an idea to dig one out.

travelchick

thanks daska, i will do that tomorrow :-)

travelchick

Just a quick update on this, I stopped all contact and had a solicitor write to him and tell him why.
He has filed for contact and or residence order and I'm off to court in a week.
I've received the supporting documents today from cafcas who feel that it would not be safe to make any orders on the day and further investigation should be made as well as getting the children's thoughts on what they want.
I have also now got several professionals, head masters, councillors psychotherapists who have all said they are happy to speak independently /give statements. Supporting my application for supervised contact only.
So once again thank you to all of you who took the time to listen and give me info when I was quite disparate..
My children are so much happier, my daughter is eating better although she try's to sneak things to the dog she's stopped convincing herself she's fat. My son has stopped about 75% of his tantrums but his found his humour again.
Thank you again
Xxx

thorsoak

travelchick wrote: »

Just a quick update on this, I stopped all contact and had a solicitor write to him and tell him why.
He has filed for contact and or residence order and I'm off to court in a week.
I've received the supporting documents today from cafcas who feel that it would not be safe to make any orders on the day and further investigation should be made as well as getting the children's thoughts on what they want.
I have also now got several professionals, head masters, councillors psychotherapists who have all said they are happy to speak independently /give statements. Supporting my application for supervised contact only.
So once again thank you to all of you who took the time to listen and give me info when I was quite disparate..
My children are so much happier, my daughter is eating better although she try's to sneak things to the dog she's stopped convincing herself she's fat. My son has stopped about 75% of his tantrums but his found his humour again.
Thank you again
Xxx

So glad to read this! Funnily enough, I've just switched the laptop on after listening to Radio 4 Saturday Live - and they've just had an interview with a lady whose ex-husband murdered her children - she said that she always thought that they were safe with him - although he was violent towards her, he always loved their kids ..... - here's the link to the interview :- http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0210pl6

You are doing the right thing by your children - no doubt about that xx

marisco_2

Thank you for coming back to update us. It is good to hear how much happier and settled your children are now. You should be very proud of how all your efforts to give them a safe and secure childhood is improving their wellbeing. I wish you luck when you go back to court and hope that the process runs smoothly for you.

paulineb_2

travelchick wrote: »

I dont think he would harm them they are scared of him because he is a shouter however he dosnt hit them.
when our marriage broke down he didnt copy well and was violent to me but never to the children, but he is scary its the whole bible quotes,
" do on to others as thy would have done to thyself" ect really weird

I would say please listen to the people who are telling you this needs to be dealt with as an emergency situation.

Both your kids are suffering mentally due to this man and hes now saying that hes going to take them somewhere where they will never see you again?

God forbid, what if he tries to do himself and them harm, he could be suicidal, you cant see this as an empty threat, I do think you need to take the advice suggested and also get back onto social services as a matter of urgency before your kids end up seriously damaged.

I know theres a lot of legal red tape when kids are involved, but your 11 year old is saying she wishes she was dead?

They need to be safe and your priority has to be keeping them safe.


Edit, seen its all sorted now. Thankfully.

BitterAndTwisted

Travelchick: will you please come back to this thread and update us on what happens in court next week?

I'm so pleased to hear that your children are doing better than they were back in March.

travelchick

thank you for your messages, I am so glad that he is away from the kids and how much better they are.
I know for now its just a temp fix but its a good place to be...
I will pop back and let you know how it goes in court getting the letter today recommending the judge order more investigations gave me a little bore breathing time :-)
xxx