Vulnerable Uncle

notakid

I'm posting and running but will be back tomorrow to read any replies but I'm interested what we can do.(If anything!)

My Uncle tried to commit suicide on the 9th of Feb. He is now in a Mental Health Hosp, by Dad is going to his review on Thursday, my uncle has told my father he is desperate to leave.

Whilst looking after his house, Dad started to notice that his brother was in arrears on some bills. Speaking to him at the hospital his brother asked him to sort out stuff. My Dad has taken his bank books and started to pay his outstanding bills but noticed large amounts have been taken out of his current account in the form of cheques for a "friend". This friend is an old workmate who has been visiting my Uncle, large amounts have been taken out over the last year and and a quarter. £5.000 (x3) amounts of £200 for his friends children and an uncashed amount (so far) of £30,000!

This friend has also been given permission to access payments for my Uncle on his behalf as my Father has been inquiring about the large payments made to several places including his elec supplier, they told him Uncles friend acts on his behalf.

We are sure that Uncle has offered his money but it seems the friend has been using him as a bit of a cashpoint. He has also filled all his premium bonds in the name of the friends children. The amount being in total £30,000 each!

I have also tried to contact my Uncle's children (my cousins) my Uncle isn't a nice man his children have never wanted anything to do with him. I spoke to my cousins husband she is suffering from depression. He is going to get in contact with Uncles ex wife, but I'm not holding out much hope they will wish to get involved. I just want them to know its not us spending the money!

My Dad has a lot on his plate anyway. My Mom died on the 8th of Feb. He was very happily married, I know my Dad is thinking that his brother is his responsibility but my Uncle does shout at my Dad and can turn nasty at the drop of a hat. I don't think my Father is up to the challenge, he is 76.

As I said my Dad is going to a review meeting at the hosp on Thursday to see what they will do with my Uncle. He doesn't want to mention the money as he thinks it will spoil Uncle's chances of being released. I've said that isn't the problem, its the danger to self that will be the overriding concern.

Sister will go with Dad to review meeting.

Any ideas?

DannyBo

notakid wrote: »

I'm posting and running but will be back tomorrow to read any replies but I'm interested what we can do.(If anything!)

My Uncle tried to commit suicide on the 9th of Feb. He is now in a Mental Health Hosp, by Dad is going to his review on Thursday, my uncle has told my father he is desperate to leave.

Whilst looking after his house, Dad started to notice that his brother was in arrears on some bills. Speaking to him at the hospital his brother asked him to sort out stuff. My Dad has taken his bank books and started to pay his outstanding bills but noticed large amounts have been taken out of his current account in the form of cheques for a "friend". This friend is an old workmate who has been visiting my Uncle, large amounts have been taken out over the last year and and a quarter. £5.000 (x3) amounts of £200 for his friends children and an uncashed amount (so far) of £30,000!

This friend has also been given permission to access payments for my Uncle on his behalf as my Father has been inquiring about the large payments made to several places including his elec supplier, they told him Uncles friend acts on his behalf.

We are sure that Uncle has offered his money but it seems the friend has been using him as a bit of a cashpoint. He has also filled all his premium bonds in the name of the friends children. The amount being in total £30,000 each!

I have also tried to contact my Uncle's children (my cousins) my Uncle isn't a nice man his children have never wanted anything to do with him. I spoke to my cousins husband she is suffering from depression. He is going to get in contact with Uncles ex wife, but I'm not holding out much hope they will wish to get involved. I just want them to know its not us spending the money!

My Dad has a lot on his plate anyway. My Mom died on the 8th of Feb. He was very happily married, I know my Dad is thinking that his brother is his responsibility but my Uncle does shout at my Dad and can turn nasty at the drop of a hat. I don't think my Father is up to the challenge, he is 76.

As I said my Dad is going to a review meeting at the hosp on Thursday to see what they will do with my Uncle. He doesn't want to mention the money as he thinks it will spoil Uncle's chances of being released. I've said that isn't the problem, its the danger to self that will be the overriding concern.

Sister will go with Dad to review meeting.

Any ideas?

I think your Father should mention the money, that way social services will have a clearer picture.

Maybe the money is the reason he tried to take his life?

Maybe the 'friend' is a 'friend with benefits' - without wanting to sound vulgar but it's not totally unheard of.

Perhaps speak to the bank, have his assets frozen/ obtain PoA.

Involve the police?

Good luck!

jackyann

The team caring for your uncle need to have all the information, otherwise they cannot care for him. Your dad doesn't have to be specific at the moment - he could just say that he has concerns about how a friend is accessing money. He should also tell them that his own health prevents him from being his brother's carer, but of course he is concerned about him.
The team can make sure that your uncle is known to the Safeguarding Vulnerable Adults team, who can help with the suggestions made by Dannybo (taking some of the strain off you)
If your father doesn't give them this information, he may find things get worse & involve him more!
Hope it goes well, I feel for you all

msb5262

Hi OP,
You might find it useful to contact Age UK as they have lots of experience of situations like this.
Best of luck
MsB

piglet74

I also think the money needs to be mentioned, it could have been a factor (or the main reason) of the suicide.

And your poor dad, how awful... His wife dies on 8th, his brother tried to commit suicide the very next day, the poor man :-(

Fire_Fox

Read up on Power of Attorney, you would need the support of the medical team to get this through anyway so they need to be informed. It should not affect the release from the hospital, even if it does then that is a clinical decision made by professionals. Your father should not be swayed too much by the opinion of someone who is in a poor mental state.

AFAIK it doesn't have to be next of kin, anyone responsible can be PoA even medical or care staff. The key thing is to always act in the best interests of the person they have PoA for, never in the financial interests of themselves or people who might inherit or whatever.

TBH your father should not really be accessing your uncle's accounts without this, please ensure he gets and keeps receipts for EVERYTHING. I am sure he means well but there are proper procedures to go through when someone is vulnerable. You'd be better informing all the creditors your uncle is in hospital and that someone is applying for PoA - they should put a hold on any collections. I don't mean that to be unkind, but you never know when estranged relatives come out of the woodwork and start greedily questioning where the money went, which would obviously stress your father.

It may be possible to temporarily freeze the uncashed amount, based on your uncle not being of sound mind when he wrote that cheque and it could be deemed elder abuse. But do be aware that if your uncle was not in a fit state to authorise this money to the friend, was he fit to authorise your father? That could be what is looked at.

MrsE_2

In a rush but a quickie reply.

Tell police & social services about the "friend".

podperson

Has your dad mentioned to his brother that he's noticed the large amounts going out to the friend? If your uncle did give him the money voluntarily then I don't know if there will be much that can be done about what's already gone out (though if the 30k cheque hasn't been cashed yet then would uncle agree to cancelling it with the bank??)

I think the money should be mentioned at the review as they need to have all the information. It may even make him less likely to be released if they have fears that he is being advantage of in his own home and his decision making faculties may be impaired at the moment. Either way, if they are aware of it then they will at least know to keep an eye out. For all you know this 'friend' could be showing up to visit your uncle at the hospital once his current money dries up!

notakid

Thanks all for the replies. We have found out today that this chap has cashed a further £50,000 pounds out of Uncle's account!

I'm sure that as he had planned to commit suicide he did want this friend to have the money but the so called friend has still cashed all the money even tho Uncle survived.:cool:.........

I can't be at the review tomorrow as I'm in crewe for an interview but I've spoken to my sister and stressed that she needs to tell the medical staff all about this.

I'm also going to have a word with my Dad about the accounts. My Uncle had asked him but its only verbal not in writing. My Dad has been keeping records of what he is paying out Uncle had about 400 pounds in loose change and he is slowly changing into notes for him.

However I don't know if anything can be done as it seems it was of his own free will, there are notes all around the house stating this fact.:(

meritaten

He MUST mention the money! it could be the cause of Uncles suicide attempt! his claim that this is his friend could be a total lie - he may well be being blackmailed or ripped off and is afraid to admit it!
Sorry, but you DO say this uncle is not a nice person - and not nice people do NOT give away large sums of cash to 'friends'!
and 'notes around the house stating he gives money to his friend of his own free will'? How bizarre!

DannyBo

Bingo!

Blackmail; maybe something that happened a long time ago and 'friend' was either there or knows of it.

Not very helpful of me to speculate, but Uncle isn't a nice person according to OP and his kids etc...

Father seems a nice person though !