Guilt re returning to work

choccybuttons

Its perfectly normal. I went back to work ft when my first lo was 8 months old and his dad was looking him. I still felt sick and awful, everyone does. It took me 3 months to settle back into work. Im having my third and he will be going into daycare when I go back. Honestly you appreciate lo's so much more when your away from them and make much more effort to do activities ect. If u were at home probably a good part of your day would be cooking and cleaning

cruickville

Good luck, I went back to work (3 days) after DD was 10 mths and i honestly think I was better quality mum on the other 4 days as I appreciated the time more. I also gained sanity and less isolation. Saying that after DS came along I did give up work (the numbers didn't warrant me going back & I have no family to look after kids) it has been good but there are definately lots of benefits of going back to work. In this day and age being a stay at home mum doesn't have much social status anymore :-(

barbiedoll

Oh, I know how that feels, I was eaten up with guilt when I first went back to work, even though it was only part-time. Then when OH lost his job, I had to return to full-time work and that made me feel guilty. Now that DS is a full-blown teenager and wants the latest gadget/clothes/expensive outing to theme park, I feel guilty that we can't afford everything that he wants. You always feel guilty when you're a parent!

You're setting a fine example to your child and you can take pride in the fact that you're working to pay for your home, bills and so on. You will be able to teach your child to be independant, you will pass on your work ethic and you can show LO that women can still have a family AND a career. Don't feel guilty, she will benefit from being around other people, it will stand her in good stead when she starts nursery/school. And don't worry about "missing out", don't forget, you'll also be missing the endless tidying up, the constant drone of CBeebies, the never-ending cry of "Mum, Mum, Mum" all day long. Working does have SOME advantages!

sunshine_1988

Hi OP

I was exactly where you are last year at the end of November. I cried most evenings for weeks before I went back as I felt so guilty.

My little boy was almost 10 months old too. I had the same feelings about missing out on things and him prefering other people to me, but honestly its nothing like that. If anything, he gets even more excited to see me when I pick him up, and crawls over to us super quick! We get some lovely cuddles when we pick him up!

I couldnt really not return to work either. I dropped to 4 days so I have a Friday with him, and because I am working it means I have a bit of extra cash to treat us both on a Friday, whether that be swimming, soft play or a biscuit and coffee - I really cherish that time with him so much.

And its quite nice being at work having adult conversation and also being able to drink a cup of tea whilst it still hot!!

Hope all goes well. xxx

m_curiousity

OP, to give a viewpoint from another angle, both my parents worked full time as far back as i can remember, as a kid you are really not aware of any other way of being, you just accept your life and its totally normal because its all you know! I had childminders, after school clubs and later on au pairs and never thought twice about it or felt i was missing out. And now as an adult im so proud of my parents, especially my mum for making that choice and giving me a good role model. Women are just as entitled to go back to work as men, and the fabulous thing about sex equality is it gives you the choice to do so if thats what you want to do!

Your baby will not suffer for you working, and perhaps the negative comments are because people feel jealous they werent able to male that choice. Do not feel guilty, if they have a problem its their problem!

Takeaway_Addict

You'd be more selfish not working if you can't support yourself so look forward to the benefits that working brings.

Mojisola

betti911 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I'm hoping I won't embarrass myself or upset my baby on Monday by getting upset. I am not usually this emotional but everything has changed since my little one has arrived.

Don't try to be too brave! It would be very strange if you didn't get upset.

betti911

Thanks everyone! I'm trying to stay positive about Monday. Am using this weekend to get as organised as possible ( it doesn't help that we are moving in ten days time too!). Just hoping I'll manage it okay!

meritaten

best wishes betti - I am sure it work out!