Guilt re returning to work

betti911

Thanks everyone. I'm hoping I won't embarrass myself or upset my baby on Monday by getting upset. I am not usually this emotional but everything has changed since my little one has arrived.

koalamummy

You will be fabulous. .

motherofstudents

It's only natural to feel the way you do but as everyone has said, the baby going to grandparents is a good thing. My parents looked after my boys and they were very happy, as you say it is more upsetting for mum. You will get used to it, just try to make the most of the time you have together and it will all work out for you all.

Of course your life changes completely when you have a child but you will make adjustments and it will be fine. If you were not a good mother, you wouldn't be having these feelings.

sooty&sweep

I'm sorry but I get cross when family and friends try to judge what is right or wrong and then put the parents on a guilt trip of trying to meet everyone else's expectations. Being a parent is hard enough !

The truth is your baby has joined your family unit and it's about what's right for all of you, not just the baby.
In some circumstances that may be a fulltime sahm but in alot of cases it will mean that mum has to work.
Yes you will miss your baby but it will help you enjoy your time with them more. In turn it will be good for them to have time with other adults rather than always you.
Personally I also enjoyed the opportunity to have an adult conversation that didn't revolve around babies and I wasn't just someone's mummy.
Don't feel guilty !
Jen

lollipopsarah

aw I feel for you, I think my first was about a year old when he went to a child minder, he loved it, she was wonderfull.
I was really worried but tbh and I hate to admit it I loved being back to work again (mind you it was hard coping with shopping/washing etc)
please don't panic it will all settle into place, just be glad your your little darling is in the best place.
Good luck
xx

lika_86

Ask those friends and family members if they make the same comments to men who work and have children at home.

These are the kind of comments and people who perpetuate gender stereotypes and maintain inequality between the sexes.

marisco_2

betti911 wrote: »

Family and friends have been teasing me about going back some making digs about me putting my career over my baby and that they couldn't do that.

I think it is disgusting that people feel they can make those type of comments to you. Why do people behave like that, choosing to make ignorant, biggoted remarks rather than consider the bigger picture of someones life?

You are a fantastic mum. You have a very strong bond with your little one and feel anxious about returning to work and leaving her in the care of others. She will be with your parents, who you trust implicitly and who she will love spending time with. It will be lovely for her.

Please know that your family and friends should be supportive and not be casting aspersions or making judgements on your choices. Next time a member of your family or a so called friend speaks to you in such a rude manner stand up to them. Ask them calmly but assertively why they think they have the right to make such a nasty comment. That should stop them in their tracks.

Them wrapping all this nonsense up as teasing is not on. It is not teasing or joking, it is not funny, it is offensive and out of order. It speaks volumes about how much they are undermining you and shattering your self esteem right now, that you dont yet see it that way.

Hold your head high, you are doing just fine and this will all work out okay.

ca55ie

Don't feel guilty. It will benefit both you and your child to spend some time apart. Your child will get quality time with grandparents, then quality time with you. You will also have some time to be "you" not "babies mum".
Part time work with trusted carer - best of both worlds :-)

flutterby_lil

Good luck Betti.

I return to work in 2 weeks, (allbeit just for 2 days then it is the Easter holidays and I am off for 2 weeks as I work in a school) my little one is 1 in 3 weeks. I will be working 4 days a week, and also have a 4 year old at school.

I feel more guilty that I will not be able to pick him up and take him to school everyday, I love chatting for 10 mins every morning with other parents. I will really miss that.

I feel sick and have butterflies just typing this. My little girl is going to nursery, she is there now as I type, settling in. She is doing really well. I know she will be fine.

Us mummys are so protective and want to spend all our time with our children. It is not healthy and will do you the world of good being apart and coming home to your little one.

I dont feel guilty being away from my children, it does them both good to gain independence.

I too could not afford to not go back. Needs must.

Good luck on Monday hon, all will be fine.

chrisv24

betti911 wrote: »

My little one is nearly ten months old and I am returning to work part time next week. I am lucky enough to have my parents taking care of my little one but I'm feeling really anxious about it. Every time I think about it I get knots in my stomach and real shortness of breath. Family and friends have been teasing me about going back some making digs about me putting my career over my baby and that they couldn't do that. Truth is that we need the money. I have cut my hours as much as I can and budgeted accordingly but i feel like the worst mum and so guilty.

I have spoken to my health visitor who says that it'll pass. Has anyone else felt like this? Any advice?

My mum stayed at home until I was 18 and she really chucked her career away and is now working in a supermarket. Due to my mum staying at home my dad worked a lot more and that meant he wasn't around as much and thats something I wish changed.

I say go back to work part-time, make sure you are still a part of your child's life and it will be fine. As they grow older they will be happy that you aren't at home 24/7.