What does your younger teen do in school hols while you are at work?

snowleopard61

I don't know if they would take someone as young as 13, and of course it may not be his sort of thing anyway, but my daughter at 16 volunteered at an animal rescue a couple of days a week during the summer, feeding and cleaning cat pens. Do be aware though that if he does offer his services they will expect hard work and commitment (and it can be a bit yukky!). It's possible he might be able to help with dog-walking, although only in company with an adult at that age I imagine.

easy

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I seem to be alone in my view that a 13 yo should not be left home alone for 6 hours, 4 days a week, for 3 weeks...

I personally don't think it's fair to him... I also think that those that do leave their children alone at that age are posting here for reassurance that it is normal and acceptable.

I just wanted to vote for the 'other side'.

Blimey. I am certainly NOT posting on here for any sort of reassurance. Frankly I don't care whether it's 'NORMAL' or not (I'm physically disabled, my stepson has autism, my son has an exceptionally high IQ like my husband - the word normal hardly ever features in this household .... ), and nor am I interested in whether other people find our way of life 'acceptable' - different strokes and all that.

I simply posted on here to get ideas as to what other folks teenagers did when their parents are at work.

easy

snowleopard61 wrote: »

I don't know if they would take someone as young as 13, and of course it may not be his sort of thing anyway, but my daughter at 16 volunteered at an animal rescue a couple of days a week during the summer, feeding and cleaning cat pens. Do be aware though that if he does offer his services they will expect hard work and commitment (and it can be a bit yukky!). It's possible he might be able to help with dog-walking, although only in company with an adult at that age I imagine.

Now that might be an idea for later. I've decided not to broach the subject before the Easter holidays, we'll let him get the feel for what it's like this time, then talk about it by about half-term.

Katexx

To be honest, at that age I happily spent all day on the internet - hasn't done me any harm! I went out with friends when I could but I was fairly anti-social at that age (well, I was a bit younger when I first started staying in alone I think, more like 12 - I know at 13-14 I started going out much more). I just sat around making websites, playing games, talking to online friends, etc.

10 years later I still happily spend all day on the computer, haha. I do work full-time, it just happens to be 95% computer-based. I'm studying for a computing degree. I don't own a TV so watch everything at my computer.

FBaby

My kids are 13 and 10 and I work full-time. Even though my 13 yo is totally capable of staying on her own, and my 10 yo with her as a matter of fact, I don't like the idea of it at all. I don't think it is really fair to expect a 13 yo to entertain themselves for days, even if they are ok. Of course, that's if you have alternatives.

I try to arrange their days so that there is a bit of variety. It usually involves me taking a day off and taking them somewhere, one day at home alone for my 13yo and at the holiday club for my 10yo. A day with their dad, a day with their grand dad, a day inviting a friend over, and a day going to a friend or something similar.

They have also started spending a week away with my mum abroad. It turned out a tiring but positive experience last year and my mum has said she would love to do it again this summer. I also rely quite a bit on friends (as they rely on me) and we work days exchange between us.

The holiday club close to our home is only opened 9 to 4, so not enough for me to go to work, but they will allow my 10yo to walk to and from it with my permission, so that is very helpful!

Lunar_Eclipse

FBaby wrote: »

I don't think it is really fair to expect a 13 yo to entertain themselves for days, even if they are ok. Of course, that's if you have alternatives.

I try to arrange their days so that there is a bit of variety. It usually involves me taking a day off and taking them somewhere, one day at home alone for my 13yo and at the holiday club for my 10yo. A day with their dad, a day with their grand dad, a day inviting a friend over, and a day going to a friend or something similar.

I think perspective is at play here.

Although you arrange where your kids spend their days and with whom, you are actually expecting your 13 year old to entertain herself for most of the working week (& probably the 10 year old to a lesser degree, when she's not at the holiday club.)

I'm not suggesting this is a bad thing by the way (I don't think it is although that's irrelevant), the reality just wasn't what I expected from your initial stance.

When we were 13, wasn't it the norm to organise your own entertainment whilst parents were at work? I don't recall a single outing to the likes of Thorpe Park or a sports camp, times really have changed. Looking back, I think I must have spent every day at home with my younger sister playing or watching TV, since we didn't go to school locally, so had no friends on the doorstep either. It wasn't any fun - I can remember the extreme boredom well - but I think it made school much more desirable.

My 11 year old seems to think every weekend should be fun, now that the norm, at least where we live, is weekly days and meals out. It doesn't bode well for the next generation financially ...

snowleopard61

If it's any consolation, I think I spent all my school holidays at that age reading. Yep, all day, every day! Not the healthiest activity physically but I survived (and got a bit more active as I got older ).

KME91

When I was 13 my dad worked nights so would be in bed asleep while my mum was at work during the school holidays. We were expected to wash up from ours and mum's breakfast/dad's dinner, from when he came in from work at 6am and cooked. We would also be expected to make ourselves lunch, and clear up, make a packed lunch for my dad to take to work that evening, and make him a cup of tea and wake him up for work, mum would normally be home at five to see him off. The house was also expected to be clean and tidy, animals fed and cleaned out regularly.

As long as we covered all that we were allowed to go out and play with friends, or stay in and watch tv, etc. we didn't have a computer or the internet until I was about 19 and had already moved out, although we did have a game console. I tended to walk the dog with a couple of mates, or hang out at a friend's house, or read.

I don't think it's a lot to ask to get a 13 year old to do a couple of jobs at home in the holidays, equally it's good to have some time to recharge batteries and just relax, school can be stressful. I think it's about finding balance and that comes over time and by communicating with the kid.