What does your younger teen do in school hols while you are at work?

CATS

Hi OP,

My son who is also 13.5 is in the Cadets. For Easter they are taking them away on a camp for 8 days. He will be doing lots of activities and be with his friends and that is one week less that I have to worry. Normally my mum has him for summer holidays but this year she wont be able to. Me and my husband will be taking half days to stretch the holidays, I think he will be going away with Cadets again and my friend will also have him for about a week. Hopefully that should cover it. I am lucky that I can also work from home if needed.

easy

Ah you see, so many of you assume that he won't get up until late. Unfortunately he is atypical in that respect, he tends to be up and about between 7 and 8 every day, even weekends and holidays. I keep trying allowing him to stay up later in the evenings, but he doesn't sleep later in the mornings, just gets more and more tired and difficult to deal with as the week goes on.

If I knew he would remain asleep until 12 or summink, I really wouldn't worry.

easy

CATS wrote: »

Hi OP,

My son who is also 13.5 is in the Cadets. For Easter they are taking them away on a camp for 8 days. He will be doing lots of activities and be with his friends and that is one week less that I have to worry. Normally my mum has him for summer holidays but this year she wont be able to. Me and my husband will be taking half days to stretch the holidays, I think he will be going away with Cadets again and my friend will also have him for about a week. Hopefully that should cover it. I am lucky that I can also work from home if needed.

Thats great. DS tho' isn't a 'joiner', was in cubs, but didn't want to move up to Scouts. We have suggested such things from time to time, but I don't think you can force them to do stuff like that. He lacks a bit in self-confidence, and doesn't do well in outdoor activities. He's academically very able, a bit of a geek (by his own admission). That's the problem, he doesn't fit easily into other groups of teens.

Spendless

How about telling him he has to have 'quiet time' in his room when he first wakes up, read a book something like that? I do know what you mean about kids that get up early, I was very glad when the 'teenage hormones' kicked in just short of 12years old over the sleeping issue. Even sleeping in till late isn't without issue I was very nearly on the brink of going home from work convinced that DS was lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs after falling one day, when hubby managed to get him to answer the phone cos he'd slept till mid-afternoon!

Is it possible that he can text you during the day to let you know he's ok?

fredtheguava

By the time I was that age, I was left alone in the holidays pretty much the whole time. I watched a bit more telly than usual, yes, but then I took myself for a walk to the shop for a bar of chocolate, or down the road to a friend's house every few days.

I learned to cook - I was allowed to make whatever I wanted to eat for lunch if the ingredients were in, and if not I could put them (within reason!) on the shopping list for the next week. I read a fair bit, did some homework, and generally just chilled out. You've suggested he just wants some time without you 'pestering' him - give it to him! If he gets bored, he'll let you know, but until then, if that's what he wants, and you trust him not to run riot or trash the place, why not give him a chance? At 13 he's not a kid, he doesn't need 24/7 occupation, he probably just needs a minute to chill.

(I don't have kids of my own, but I am a secondary school teacher. They're so bombarded at times, I think a week or two of making their own decisions at this point is no bad thing. Being able to be on your own and happy is a life skill many kids don't have.)

timeou

I'm the same - my DS is just turning 13 but I have a 10 year old DD too. He wants to be left alone during the day but I don't think he's old enough to watch DD too. They get on quite well and both are sensible for their ages - he is mortified that I get a babysitter in for 4 hours a day whilst we are at work. Awkward ages for another year or two yet until I'm prepared to leave the two of them home alone...

suki1001

easy wrote: »

Oh Blimey, that's a thought. What type of job tho ?? Only thing I can think of is paper-boy, which would be out of the house when I'm actually at home - altho' it might wear him out enough for my working hours not to be a problem. I don't think he would go for that idea just yet, the Easter holidays will be the first time this has happened, and currently he says he's looking forward to some quiet time alone without me 'pestering' him ... cheeky so and so.

Cafe, restaurant, barbers - sweeping hair. there are loads of jobs he could do. I worked in a hotel cleaning when I was 13. Did 9-12 or something like that. It's just a matter of asking around.

Spendless

timeou wrote: »

I'm the same - my DS is just turning 13 but I have a 10 year old DD too. He wants to be left alone during the day but I don't think he's old enough to watch DD too. They get on quite well and both are sensible for their ages - he is mortified that I get a babysitter in for 4 hours a day whilst we are at work. Awkward ages for another year or two yet until I'm prepared to leave the two of them home alone...

I also have a 10yo DD(well 10 at the end of the month) as well as 13yo son. At the min I send her to the holiday wrap-around care during hols if I work, but that will stop once she goes to Secondary school in Sept next year. For this reason since Christmas I have been leaving mine home together for short spells of time that I gradually increase, so they get used to being in the house together. So far they've been fine, even when i took about double the time I intended ( grocery shopping with an elderly relative with dementia doesn't always go to plan!)

easy

fredtheguava wrote: »

By the time I was that age, I was left alone in the holidays pretty much the whole time. I watched a bit more telly than usual, yes, but then I took myself for a walk to the shop for a bar of chocolate, or down the road to a friend's house every few days.

I learned to cook - I was allowed to make whatever I wanted to eat for lunch if the ingredients were in, and if not I could put them (within reason!) on the shopping list for the next week. I read a fair bit, did some homework, and generally just chilled out. You've suggested he just wants some time without you 'pestering' him - give it to him! If he gets bored, he'll let you know, but until then, if that's what he wants, and you trust him not to run riot or trash the place, why not give him a chance? At 13 he's not a kid, he doesn't need 24/7 occupation, he probably just needs a minute to chill.

(I don't have kids of my own, but I am a secondary school teacher. They're so bombarded at times, I think a week or two of making their own decisions at this point is no bad thing. Being able to be on your own and happy is a life skill many kids don't have.)

Fred, that's reassuring I think.

I think I get so worked up about too much time on the internet. The media tells us how it's restructuring young brains, damaging concentration skills etc. DS is also quite hard to prize away from it when I'm at home - maybe if he has 5 hours uninterrupted Minecraft each day I'm at work, he'll be more prepared to do something else.

BTW he doesn't have access here at home to inappropriate games etc. No Call of Duty or 18 rated games in this house ... of course, I don't know what he plays if he goes to a friends house tho'

snowleopard61

I found this stage concerning too - like Timeou I had two children (closer together in age) where the elder was old enough to be left alone but not old enough to be left in charge of the younger, so I didn't leave them alone until the younger was old enough to take responsibility for herself. They're 20+ now. We never had any disasters but like you I worried about the amount of screen time.

Would your son do something like gardening or painting fences if you paid him for it? Mine occasionally did things like weeding paths for me. Or could he even be trusted to shop for and put together a simple meal for you when you come home, as well as for himself?