Looking for the silver lining

Sun_Addict

Happy to declare today has been a NSD. Unhappy to declare Mr SA has been a pain tonight - arguing about his credit card again and then later on after taking dog out I had a bath while he was supposed to be watching Top Gear (yet again) came out of bath to find he had helped himself to rather a lot of Bacardi!!!! He insists he is fine and doesn't need a carer then he goes and proves he does! House is boiling hot with heating and gas fire on constantly as he feels the cold. Dread to think of what bill will be like! Hate to complain after all that's happened but this is very very stressful! I knew it wouldn't be easy I was warned. Will be glad to go to work tomorrow for a break!

beanielou

You cope much better than I would.

Mint1955

Sorry it sounds tough. I have to ask who is with him when you go to work? I am worried what you may come home too if he is alone.
Xxx you are doing so well xxxx

Sun_Addict

Thanks for your concern mint - he has a carer when I'm at work. That was the only way he was allowed home - with a carer as he can't be left alone - as is evident from my post - despite what he thinks.

He is now safely in bed fast asleep. Phew!

Buffythedebtslayer

Well that does suck SA.


it does.


Ok, may not be the best idea - but these are just some suggestions, Is there any way you could get one of those prepay credit cards? or can you lower the limit on his card? or look for a BT deal to move the eventual balance to? or pay cash on to the card? so it has a credit balance? to lessen the blow?


What type of things do you think he would buy? Was he a big spender before?


As far as the heating goes....I have a similar issue with Mum! drives me insane I just went into the conservatory to cool off! I have turned off all the radiators upstairs apart from in her room. heat rises after all!


Sorry, just trying to be practical.


failing all that, a little cry in the shower and more posting on here.


MASSIVE hugs XXXXX

Mint1955

Thank you for explaining I was getting very worried for you. How about a cash allowance for him to have each week or is it big stuff he wants to use a credit card for.

Sun_Addict

I always make sure he has a £10 float don't know why he feels the need for more. Part of his brain injury is the inability to be able to manage finances. He admitted if it had been me in his position he wouldn't have been able to cope especially financially. I have always handled our finances as he has always been useless in this department.

Sun_Addict

Now I'm back at work (just for today until Friday) and on a "proper" computer my plans for the new year are as follows:

Debt busting

After tomorrow my debt will stand at £2800. I've joined a challenge to pay it all off by Christmas 2014. Not entirely sure it's do-able but will give it a go. It's no good just saying I'm going to do it without a master plan so here goes:

1. Going to cancel my bus pass and walk to and from work like I used to. This will save me £45 a month and I'll use this to pay off debt.

2. Going to have a serious look through my bills and see if I can get them down a bit. Deal with nPower finishes soon but I don't realistically expect to be able to shave anything off gas/electricity bills especially since Mr SA has heating on all day and our old gas guzzling boiler/radiators only have one setting and that's full blast. The main possibility is the Virgin Media bill so will see what I can do re this.

3. Shave something off food budget. I know I'm going to be spending more now Mr SA is out of hospital and eating me out of house and home but if I meal plan and am more careful what I buy it can be done.

4. Generally spend less.

Diet/exercise

Will be weighing myself on Saturday to see what damage Christmas has done - could be a very frightening experience :eek:

Some of the excess should come off once I'm not eating out at the pub so often but generally just going to cut down a bit especially alcohol. Have joined a Change 4 Life cutting down alcohol app thing so am aiming for 3-4 alcohol free days a week. Buying wine in those small bottles usually works for me.

Exercise will come from the walking to and from work and using my gym equipment/DVDs/dust off the Wii/walking the dog. Got a pedometer and will aim for at least 16000 steps a day plus 20 minutes in the gym/dvd for toning.

Me

I am going to aim to have an away day shopping trip on the train around every 3 months. Going to put a fiver here and there in my "pot" and once I've got around £100 will take myself off shopping. Already got £20 in this to date. Mr SA will not be taken on this trip I will take a flexi day off work.

I will also take a flexi day each month to have a day off to myself, either to meet friends for lunch, get a groupon-type beauty treatment deal or whatever takes my fancy without Mr SA.

As far as he's concerned on these days I am at work!

Already made a start on my good intentions by walking to work today (or rather getting blown into work!). Also had a payday eve look at my bank account and there was £8.94 left so this is now in my VSP.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sorry you had an eventful evening last night!! Have the hospital said Mr SA is allowed to drink? Mr Lucky was told he wasn't allowed to which was music to my ears!

Think your 2014 plan sounds good. Especially the time to yourself bit!! Xx

Sun_Addict

Hi Lucky - the hospital were a bit vague on the drinking front - they said the odd drink shouldn't do any harm. I've nagged him about it but he says he is a grown man and can do what he likes! I wish they would have said no drinking at all although whether Mr SA would've taken any notice I don't know. Hopefully the novelty will wear off after a bit. I've told him we certainly can't afford to spend much on alcohol. Hate denying him after all he's been through but I'm trying hard to get our lives back to as normal as they can be for now. He's got an MRI scan in 2 weeks so fingers crossed everything is ok. He's a bit worried about it which is only natural.

Already sent off an e-mail to cancel my bus pass direct debit. Probably too late to cancel it for January. So fingers crossed Mr SA doesn't end up back in hospital! It would be just my luck!