Has Anyone Had Any Experience of a Prohibited Steps Order??

Hapless_2

absolutebounder wrote: »

As far as the son is concerned the bribery received (money gifts etc) for accepting the doctrine is like another christmas.
As far as the church is concerned they have another one signed up to protect their wealth and power at an age where the child has no chance of sensible debate as he will not understand the counter arguments or the restriction of freedom that religion falsely imposes.

there are plenty of religious forums around, this isn't one of them!

absolutebounder

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

By all means urge the OP to consider her son and his feelings first, but the rest is OT.

Ok what are the sons wishes? Does he want this person there? Why does that person want to come? How will the son feel if his parent(s) make a scene? Why cant the adults put their feelings aside for what is no more than a few hours? After all that would be the christian thing to do.

MortgageMamma

ONe option may be to reschedule the christening, and just have the parent he lives with and her partner, the god parents and any siblings there. Like marriage its the true meaning of the ceremony that counts, not the after party and the attendees.

absolutebounder

MortgageMamma wrote: »

ONe option may be to reschedule the christening, and just have the parent he lives with and her partner, the god parents and any siblings there. Like marriage its the true meaning of the ceremony that counts, not the after party and the attendees.

Its not a christening but a holy communion and that works best with lots of guests as they bring gifts, often money, so that the recipient is bribed at the same time very pressurised in to feeling he has done something right. Classic case of herd principle and peer pressure working in harmony. Its no difference from a stage hypnosis show where I reward my participants with praise for getting up on the stage and then i do a few simple group excercises to show them that everyone is doing it and how natural things are before getting them to act the fool and entertain the audience.

joeblack066

My first husband ran off with my friend. I was devastated for a very long while, and my life has not gone in the direction that I would have chosen since then. However, I realised early on that to show animosity towards the 'other woman' would be to totally traumatise my 3 boys. She had become a part of their lives whether I liked it or not. I have always been civil, chatty, and well behaved around them/ her. I have three very well adjusted boys, and now that my first grandchild has come along, it is possible for us all te be in a room without it affecting my son or his family. I do my crying in private, my kids don't need to know how bitter I feel towards this woman. You will open a huge can of worms if you let your personal feelings get in the way of what is right for your son.

absolutebounder

joeblack066 wrote: »

I do my crying in private, my kids don't need to know how bitter I feel towards this woman.

Dont cry. Learn to accept thet you cannot alter the past and then forgive unconditionaly and you will feel better. what good is there in crying over something you can not change? You are not hurting the other person by crying only yourself and that is the very person you do not want to hurt.

joeblack066

absolutebounder wrote: »

Dont cry. Learn to accept thet you cannot alter the past and then forgive unconditionaly and you will feel better. what good is there in crying over something you can not change? You are not hurting the other person by crying only yourself and that is the very person you do not want to hurt.

I appreciate that, and I am fine 99.9% of the time these days. (tho when it was new I was very bad). I have had other (failed) relationships. Buut when I am very down, it hits me that they have been part time parents only, while I raised the three boys, they have not had to alter their working patterns at all so have forged ahead with careers, I gave up a successful career when they got together, they have a joint income of £55k and mine is about £17, I struggle to make ends meet they have 3 x foreign hols a year. It boils down to the fact that he would not have wanted her if she had been a single mum with 3 kids on benefits, but that is where they put me. I have fought to get myself back, and am still fighting. It's just occasionally the fight seems too hard to manage. Oh, and before he ran off, we had spent 3 years making sweeping changes to our lives as he had been diagnosed with MS. All his friends and family knew. And the kids.
It was a complete lie.

absolutebounder

joeblack066 wrote: »

I appreciate that, and I am fine 99.9% of the time these days. (tho when it was new I was very bad). I have had other (failed) relationships. Buut when I am very down, it hits me that they have been part time parents only, while I raised the three boys, they have not had to alter their working patterns at all so have forged ahead with careers, I gave up a successful career when they got together, they have a joint income of £55k and mine is about £17, I struggle to make ends meet they have 3 x foreign hols a year. It boils down to the fact that he would not have wanted her if she had been a single mum with 3 kids on benefits, but that is where they put me. I have fought to get myself back, and am still fighting. It's just occasionally the fight seems too hard to manage. Oh, and before he ran off, we had spent 3 years making sweeping changes to our lives as he had been diagnosed with MS. All his friends and family knew. And the kids.
It was a complete lie.

I know what you are going through but you are still suffering because you havent forgiven totally and there is still jealousy there. If you sit down and have a logical discussion with yourself you will realise you cant change what has happened. You have to forgive the past completely and move on. Grow your self esteem and realise how you are now better off making your own rules and life. every morning when you wake up tell yourself what a smashing person you are and soon you will realise you are and that if someone doesnt want you, thats their problem not yours. You owe it to yourself to be happy.

looby75

absolutebounder wrote: »

Never mind the ex's wife. What about the poor child being indoctrinated by brainwashing into a religion, when it is too young to make its mind up about and understand fully. It is child abuse not physical but mental

the OP didn't ask for opinions about religion, she asked for advice on stopping her ex's wife from attending the communion. If you want to start a discussion on the rights or wrongs of religion try starting your own thread, then people who may be offended by your intolerance to their beliefs can avoid it if they so wish.

absolutebounder

looby75 wrote: »

the OP didn't ask for opinions about religion, she asked for advice on stopping her ex's wife from attending the communion. If you want to start a discussion on the rights or wrongs of religion try starting your own thread, then people who may be offended by your intolerance to their beliefs can avoid it if they so wish.

I think we had moved on from here but it was not an intollerance of other peoples beliefs (since they are only beliefs and not truths) rather more an intollerance of forcing those beliefs on a child too young to be able to make his own mind in a rational way by use of brainwashing tactics. That is child abuse.