Eating Disorder

Herongull

I'm not sure this is a healthy relationship for either of you.

Pechow

ARM10 wrote: »

She's tried medication, counseling, attending courses on ED, drawing on support of friends, plus more. I'm entirely committed and would do Anything, literally. Do you have any suggestions other than "it's up to her" ? Shall I just wait and what if it stays like this forever ? It's been over 10 years already....

There are no other suggestions, because it is up to her (and potentially medical professionals). You can't fix her or save her from herself. All you can do is act as support, while trying not to be pulled down too.

This might sound odd, but does she really want to stop? This could even be a subconscious thing-she might see it as punishment for being (insert reason here), she might have BDD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder , she might want the attention even if it's negative (again, without being consciously aware of such), she might be depressed and this stems from that... there are lots of reasons. Is she otherwise happy or fulfilled in her life?

You need to think long and hard about the possibility she will never change-will you be happy staying in a relationship like that?

heartbreak_star

A lot of ED sufferers (myself included) begin the destructive behaviour so we can have control over something...if we can't control anything else in our lives, we can control food...and sometimes when people discover we're doing that, we control them by proxy...

HBS x

DKLS

adandem wrote: »

Services are lacking and referral is slow.

Not sure what you mean? CBT is a type of therapy?

This is the website:

http://www.b-eat.co.uk/

Beat is a charity where they help both the sufferers of EDs AND the carers, parents of a sufferer, their helplines are awesome.

They do offer local support groups and various other initiatives including education sessions for GPs which is still very much needed.

adandem

ARM10 wrote: »

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, tried. Referred by psychiatrist

Yes I know;)

I wasn't questioning that? I was questioning why you thought Beat was CBT??
post 27

adandem

Really sorry to say this but I fear that you may be out of your depth here. Your gf has a very serious mental illness which needs real professional help. The fact is that certain treatments may have failed in the past, but without being an expert you don't know why? It doesn't mean they're not effective.

It's not the same as say paracetamol not being effective so try something else?

Molly41

heartbreak_star wrote: »

A lot of ED sufferers (myself included) begin the destructive behaviour so we can have control over something...if we can't control anything else in our lives, we can control food...and sometimes when people discover we're doing that, we control them by proxy...

HBS x

Only if that person allows themselves to be controlled:eek:

heartbreak_star

Oh, agreed...but it's very hard not to be controlled due to the manipulation that the ED sufferer will use. It's also why I put "sometimes".

Just look at the quote I put in the thread earlier.

HBS x

Errata

A difficult situation - the OP's partners behaviour is resulting in the OP having health problems. Frankly, it sounds like the food problem isn't the problem as she spends money she can't afford on all manner of other 'stuff'. It sounds like a problem with impulse control: a very different kettle of fish to an eating disorder.

Yorkie1

OP, I may have missed it, but does your OH want to take steps to improve things?

I was wondering whether she might try to tackle things in small steps, such as if she is going to binge on a meal, going for slightly less expensive things each time?

Doesn't tackle the source problem, but might perhaps enable her to feel a little less guilty about the whole thing if she realises that she has a little control in the situation?