oh dear g.d how much debt?

sexylulubelle

ok so i dont normally post about personal things but i'm really as in really seriously worried about this, ...................... long story short and all that malarkey me and the oh( separating) long time coming no need for sorry or pity, its life and all that, Ok so working out finances, debt etc and I ask OK how much are we really in debt? after 7 years? wow a whopping £21000?????? !!!!!! no, he doest have a gambling problem, no drinking problem, no shopaholic problem app just living costs, i have a hard time accepting this where in gods name has the money gone, I knew we had debt but never knew the extent, and i feel really angry and annoyed as its not like we have had a lavish lifestyle or lush holidays, nice cars etc, as far as i'm concerned basically just been surviving, so have asked OH for breakdown of bills, expenditure, versus total income well we are in the poo poo good and solid, not sure where to go from here as I'm working 2 days a week, from april another 2 days so 4 days a week I'm really careful with food costs and things, but how on earth am I supposed to help sort this debt??? app I'm responsible for atleast a 1/3 of debt, I never knew surviving would cost this much? wow I'm stunned, dont have much to sell apart from my engagement ring so do i do that, or continue to plod along, ideally I want to have my own place by next year this time!!!

Mrs_Bones

The first think is to right everything down, both coming in and going out and I do mean everything, including if you pick up a paper or magazine or the odd coffee out or in work etc. It's often so easy to think of the main things like utility bills and car payments and forget all the small things, but those small things can add up alarmingly.

Put up on post on the Debt Free Wanabee board there are many people on there who can help you find out what you can cut further and help sort out the priorities. The other board to look at is Old Style, they have great ideas for budgeting and making cheaper meals.

DannyBo

sexylulubelle wrote: »

ok so i dont normally post about personal things but i'm really as in really seriously worried about this, ...................... long story short and all that malarkey me and the oh( separating) long time coming no need for sorry or pity, its life and all that, Ok so working out finances, debt etc and I ask OK how much are we really in debt? after 7 years? wow a whopping £21000?????? !!!!!! no, he doest have a gambling problem, no drinking problem, no shopaholic problem app just living costs, i have a hard time accepting this where in gods name has the money gone, I knew we had debt but never knew the extent, and i feel really angry and annoyed as its not like we have had a lavish lifestyle or lush holidays, nice cars etc, as far as i'm concerned basically just been surviving, so have asked OH for breakdown of bills, expenditure, versus total income well we are in the poo poo good and solid, not sure where to go from here as I'm working 2 days a week, from april another 2 days so 4 days a week I'm really careful with food costs and things, but how on earth am I supposed to help sort this debt??? app I'm responsible for atleast a 1/3 of debt, I never knew surviving would cost this much? wow I'm stunned, dont have much to sell apart from my engagement ring so do i do that, or continue to plod along, ideally I want to have my own place by next year this time!!!

How can you be in that much debt without knowing? More than likely is in his name, unless you have joint bank account/ credit cards.

So try not to fret, take a deep breath and have a look at all relevant paperwork yourself. :beer:

fluffnutter

£21,000 over 7 years is an overspend of £3,000 per year. I can easily see how that can happen actually.

The thing is.. what to do about it? OP, what are these debts? Mortgage, rent, unpaid bills, credit cards, store cards? What exactly do you owe and in whose name are the debts recorded?

This might sound immoral... but if these debts are on your husband's personal credit cards and you're separating... well, you could just wash your hands of them. Obviously if you're expecting a nice financial settlement as part of the divorce, it's not going to happen! But you still might be able to avoid liability for debts that aren't, legally speaking, yours. However, if you've been enjoying the bounty of this excess borrowing - meals out, holidays, clothes etc. that's when it gets a bit more complicated, morally speaking.

That aside, there's no point in speculating until you understand what's owed, and to whom, and more importantly, whether you both owe it.

mrcow

I would query the figures too. I would bet it's more when everything starts coming out of the woodwork. So be prepared for it to get worse before it gets better.

Get it all down on a spreadsheet. All of it. Having all the facts is the only place to start with it.

Then look at all of the debts and first off see if any of them can go straight away and whether any unwanted PPI has been taken out on any of them.

aileth

I'm really interested in how the responses come out. I found out my dad is £25,000 in debt a few weeks ago and no idea what to do!

tom9980

fluffnutter wrote: »

£21,000 over 7 years is an overspend of £3,000 per year. I can easily see how that can happen actually.

Just to touch on that i live on the outskirts of my small city. I take the bus it costs £3.70 for a day ticket now if i had to take that bus 5 days per week for 46 weeks thats £18.50 per week and £851 just on bus travel simply to go into the town centre. If i could walk the 30 minutes and only take the bus when the weather was bad id likely save £600 per year alone.

Now imagine you are lazy and dont bother to plan your lunch and instead hit the various tempting shops you are easily likely to spend £3 per day on that £3 x 5 days x 46 weeks = £690. If you make your own lunch its likely to cost £1 or so given efficient bulk buying and planning so £230 a saving of £460

So there you go two simple examples saving £1000+ in a year.

LannieDuck

Try the debt free wanabee boards. Advice on this kind of problem is what they do.

Dunroamin

aileth wrote: »

I'm really interested in how the responses come out. I found out my dad is £25,000 in debt a few weeks ago and no idea what to do!

Why would you need to do anything if your father's in debt?

aileth

Dunroamin wrote: »

Why would you need to do anything if your father's in debt?

I'm just really worried as he's retiring in the next few years, and I don't feel right after all he's done for me in my life having his go down the drain really. Yes, it's their fault, but it really doesn't sit well with me!

Takeaway_Addict

aileth wrote: »

I'm just really worried as he's retiring in the next few years, and I don't feel right after all he's done for me in my life having his go down the drain really. Yes, it's their fault, but it really doesn't sit well with me!

Does he want your help though? If not I'd stay clear....and like our parents are for us just make them aware that you are always there for them