What do you do if you are a single mother2b with toddlers also...

wifeforlife

TokochickUK,

Your such strong, able lady. Having come through already what you have and your still here is an achievement in itself.

I'm not going to give you my own hardluck story as it's long, complicated and I'm really bored of it, but basically I'm a single mum to 1 dd. I think you should try to change your way of thinking to that of a single mother, as looking at your posts that what you appear to be. You and your sons live seperatly from their dad and he is of no support to any of you's. Now the reason I say to think like a single mum is this, when I changed my way of thinking I enabled myself to be free of my exe's burdens and commitments to himslef. I empowered myself by being self sufficient and by not being reliant on him.

I understand your worried at lack of support during the birth and with pnd and the usual ups and downs a new born brings, but I would guess your Sister or your Dad even though your not in great contact would be there if you asked. I'd say your Dad even more so as with his own relationship breakdown, he may be re-evaluating family life. So what if your boys are boisterous, sure thats all part of the fun, playing up for grandad.

If you can stay online here you'll receive so much support for the depression and financial aspects if you need it, also if you want to just jump on a plane to NI with your boys, you can come stay with me, I'll look after you my friend!

Your HV sounds so lovely, and I'd say will be on hand through out the rest of your pregnancy and probably the birth to help aswell!

Goodluck my friend,

Cate

TokochickUK

double post

wifeforlife

If there is anything I can do online, over the phone or to help dont be afraid to email me, I'll pm you my email and dont be afraid to ask, we all have to sometimes, and I more than most know that!

You'll get through this, we'll make sure of it

Cate

cobbingstones

Oh honey

You have done so very well!! Please try and remain strong.

Are you receiving any help from a CPN? If not please, please ask to be referred to one! I have worked for many years in mental health and can assure you that if you have the proper support (which you are entitled to) you WILL get through this. There are lots of organisations out there who will be able to give you support. Ask your GP/HV to contact Homestart-UK. They have trained volunteers who are police checked who will be able to look after the children for a short time. Also social services will have checked people who would be able to provide short term care (sometimes students etc) but they are very capable. Also as someone as also pointed out you could be entitled to free childcare such as a childminder who again will be police checked etc. Please seek this information so the children and you can meet the childcarer before the birth.

You are doing a great job under the circumstances which is plain to see from your post. Are you in any medication?

I'm wishing you the very very best.

Pls PM me if i can help more.

MM xxxx