My son is being bullied by a girl....

looby75

go back to the school, up until now you thought they were being proactive so give them another chance.

Explain that you have spoken to the girls mum and you aren't sure she has quite grasped the situation and she lead you to believe that the school told her it wasn't a problem. See what their response is and take it from there. Also mention that you think your ds is now making himself ill to get out of going to school. It might even be worth having a chat with your gp and see what s/he suggests.

Good luck.

oldrimes

Have you come across the Kidscape website?

There is some useful information (both for parents and children) there: https://www.kidscape.org.uk They have a booklet that can be freely downloaded:
http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/do...opbullying.pdf

I found the booklet and the wholewebsite very useful, also bought a couple of their books. I talked through some of the points with my children, and that led to a wider discussion about what happened, and about actions that they can take when things happened. Very useful resource.

Mandles

My DS also had this but was older(one bully was a girl (5 times the size of him)). The school should be able to deal with it if it does not help talking to the other parent(as you can see from some parents why their kids bully and you get no where talking to them).
i know there are 2 sides to every story but pulling other kids away is mean. The schools i had to dealt with(my DS got bullied twice as he has glasses and is so easily walked over he was easy prey)were very good. First the form tutor spoke to the bully and in middle school the deputy head(i didnt hold out any hope with that particular teacher so went straight to head) was amazing. She spoke to the kid who bullied and then spoke to my son alone and said you need to say in a loud strong voice "i don't like you treating me like you do and i will not put up with it anymore"(he practiced with her and then said it to the bully (who burst into tears) and bullying completely stopped .
Hope it works out ok as its really upsetting when your kid is getting picked on. You can always get him moved away from her if all else fails and just tell him to keep well away from her.

Mandles

Any updates on what happened?

skyrocket

grade15 wrote: »

its not vicky pollard..by any chance? sorry about that..couldn't resist!

thats so ridiculously insensitive! why bother posting stuff like that?

welshgirlmel

Why dont you try enrolling him in a drama club. Drama is especially good for building confidence. My son started when he was 6/7 and is so much more confident now. In fact he never spoke before the age of two. Now he goes to a local youth theatre and regulalry performs on stage. He was quiet when he started and had poor communication skills but is so much better now. The format of his group is that they play lots of games, do some dancing and acting and have a full stage show twice a year. He now thinks he is Tom Cruise (his words not mine). Stagecoach is well known club you could check out.

It must be awful for you, hope everything works out and big hugs for your little boy
mel

joapet

why not try scouts/beavers/cubs? My brother and I joined groups like that, and I always find that they are a really good way of making friends as it is small groups and it gets you doing activities where everyone has to join in, playing games etc, and earning badges for stuff as well. i always found earning the badges quite rewarding, so it may be an option for your son who you said isnt into the rough and tumble

as for the bullying - i'd recommend the old rule of 'stay away'. the teachers know what is going on, and if they see the girl being mean or whatever then they know what to do.

regularsaver1

It sounds like she is wanting his attention

quietheart

Don't think drama would work for him. He has selective mutism, basically a speech phobia/anxiety which can make him freeze totally. That's why it's difficult to get him to stand up for himself. This girl is/was his comfort zone and he's always spoken or whispered to her. He was totally silent in school for 15 months. I have considered Beavers but have always found it incredibly difficult to get him to go anywhere unless he knows someone there already.
He was happy enough yesterday but not good today. Another parent asked to speak to the teacher as her daughter has been involved and the teacher repsonded with an exasperated "that's all been dealt with".
Bit deflated with it at the moment. Will watch and wait for a bit.
Huge thanks for the kind thoughts and advice.
And yes i do think she wants his attention but in an unhealthy way....

TokochickUK

Is there any way you could request the school arrange an appointment for both you and her mother to attend and the head pr teacher involved to act as a mediator? and somebody who could also make the situation more clear to her? I mean if the teacher is saying one thing to you and playing it down to the other motehr then the best thing would be to make sure no misunderestanding would be all in the same room (without the children) so maybe during a lunch or something. Also would suggest as another has and going to see a gp to discuss your concerns. Another thing is there is a magazine called the grapevine which can be found at surgerys or a hv would have one and they tell of older as well as younger childrens activities maybe you could have a look and find something he would enjoy x