Uh-Oh, Mother rant ahead!!!

eliviajen

Uh-Oh, mother rant ahead!!!

We have been having alot of problems with our Housing situation recently but thankfully things appear to be getting better and we have been offered another property- YAY

Unfortuantly the new place is a couple of doors away from my Mother... - we have quite a voltatile relationship at the best of times and at the moment I am feeling very negative towards her.

So we are packing up and sorting out ready for our move next week, and she has decided now after 8 years of me not living there that she wants to sort out my old bedroom (which I have only left a few books and a couple of uni files in - all of which I dont want/need anymore) she has filled my room to the ceiling with "stuff" that she has hoarded and she keeps calling twisting for me to sort it out, I took the couple of things belonging to me but apparently its not enough!!!

My partner has taken almost 50 wheely bin bags of stuff and sorted in the recycling skips, along with several pieces of furniture which we really dont need in our our new place but she is complaining that i havent taken all this stuff to mine - why I need more bedside tables, or tv units or more sets of curtains I have no idea?

Anyways, todays complaint is she's throwing out all the childrens toys and books that I have (at her request) bought to stay round there - toys such as a dolls house and a rocking horse amongst many other expensive items and beloved toys, which I certainly dont need a double of. She wont hear of letting me sell them on, they either have to come to my new house or the skips - not even the charity shop!!!

My new house is a little big bigger but Im not filling it up with her stuff!!!!!!

My mother, has also been complaining of how my children are going to "run riot, with the other (4) children on the street" - my children are not old enough or responsible enough to play out unattended yet :mad:

My mother has a history of trying to mar every good memory I have, and turning it round to be all about her. I am already severly depressed due to the situation I am living in, and I really dont need all this additional stress whilst trying to sort my own house out. Im certain that my partner has better things he could be doing in MY house rather than spending HOURS sorting out unsorted rubbish at the recycling site.

Sorry for the rant - I just needed to get it off my chest

londonsurrey

She sounds like such little sunbeam.
Why are you even talking to her? Have you seen the narcissistic mother thread?

meritaten

oh dear - another narcissist mother - have a search for threads about 'narcissist mother' hun. lots of tips on those on not letting her 'get to you'. 'I hate my mother' by Happyhaddock is good.
this is typical behaviour. I feel sorry for you - having to live so near.

Own_My_Own

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3574175

You are not the only one. Sending Hugs.

Not spoken to mine since Christmas day.

marmitepotato

Take the toys, keep the toys, then sell the toys.

Keep your sanity, by keeping your dignity if your mum should go on a rant, don't drop to her level, you are a better person OP.


Good luck to you.

Gingernutty

eliviajen wrote: »

My partner has taken almost 50 wheely bin bags of stuff and sorted in the recycling skips, along with several pieces of furniture which we really dont need in our our new place but she is complaining that i havent taken all this stuff to mine - why I need more bedside tables, or tv units or more sets of curtains I have no idea?

Anyways, todays complaint is she's throwing out all the childrens toys and books that I have (at her request) bought to stay round there - toys such as a dolls house and a rocking horse amongst many other expensive items and beloved toys, which I certainly dont need a double of. She wont hear of letting me sell them on, they either have to come to my new house or the skips - not even the charity shop!!!

My new house is a little big bigger but Im not filling it up with her stuff!!!!!!

Is there no way of keeping it at your house and selling it from there?

If it's your stuff (or she says it is), then it's yours to do with as you want.

After all, you're setting up a new home, you could do with the extra cash.......

System

Own_My_Own wrote: »

Not spoken to mine since Christmas day.

4 years since i saw or spoke to mine after an absence of another 4 years. 4 years ago i offered an olive branch but she really hadnt changed. I was still a rubbish daughter and useless Mother so i walked away again. I was going to try and break the ice again a couple of months or so ago but i really didnt think she deserved another chance.

I miss having a Mother i really do but i'm not prepared to through the heartache and i dont know if i'm strong enough to defend myself.

londonsurrey

Judi wrote: »

I miss having a Mother i really do but i'm not prepared to through the heartache and i dont know if i'm strong enough to defend myself.

I miss having a mother too. I finally came to realise that the person who gave birth to me was never going to be anything near the "mother" that society tells us a mother should be.

The person demanding to fill that space for me would take the label of "mother" but not actually offer any of the TLC, care, etc that a "mother" is assumed to do. All I would get, as I'd found out over and over again, were more demands, more criticism, more heartache.

In the end, it was just plain silly to expect the negatives to stop, and for the promised positives to begin.

Own_My_Own

OP, why don't you just tell her you don't want the stuff, and she can get rid off it if she wants.
The game she is playing, can't be played alone. She needs you to keep playing it. Walk away and the game has to stop.

Dunroamin

If you dislike her so much, why are you moving so close to her?

Own_My_Own

Dunroamin wrote: »

If you dislike her so much, why are you moving so close to her?

As it is social housing, maybe the op HAS NO CHOICE .