Adopting step-children

ben500

On the contrary your right to do so Job I didn't see the earlier post you mention and was under the impression the principal still stood if it doesn't then that is a good thing and the op should be aware.

vics_1982

[QUOTE=okra;

Vics, can I ask whether you have any regret, or whether you feel it was the wrong decision in any way?[/QUOTE]

I have no regrets whatsoever, My "adopted dad" who i consider to be my only dad anyway as he had raised me from about 5 months old wanted to make it all official and if anything happened to mum he could take care of me. I, like your daughter had my parents last name also as they married when i was young so nothing changed at all for me accept that i could legally use that name on a passport etc.
The only thing that did slightly effect me was that at the court on the adoption day i walked straight passed my "sperm donor" and he just scowled at me, Mum asked me if i knew who he was as she had pointed him out once or twice and it was only then that i realised it was the sperm donor.
That was quite unnerveing as i felt quite bad for my "adoptive dad" as he also had to walk passed him, luckily the judge had him removed from the building though.

If your daughter is happy, uses your married name then adopting shouldn't change anything just make everything legal.
Goodluck with whatever you decided.

Vics
xx

vics_1982

pollocmc wrote: »

Can I just ask what part the other parent has in this? I am involved a lot in my kids life and would be, rightly or wrongly, extremely peeved if they were "adopted"

My biological father hasn't seen me since i was three months so as far as i'm concerned he has no rights( i am soon to be 25).
As you are decent and see your children then there is no reason for someone to adopt them.
Good on you for being there for your children
Vics
xx

pollocmc

vics_1982 wrote: »

My biological father hasn't seen me since i was three months so as far as i'm concerned he has no rights( i am soon to be 25).
As you are decent and see your children then there is no reason for someone to adopt them.
Good on you for being there for your children
Vics
xx

Was just interested in whether it could happen (given the zero communication I have with the ex except for checkpoint charlie style changeovers) without my input.

Oh and I agree with you re his rights btw.

MJMum

---

Willman_Rodders

On a slightly different angle to the thread, but relevant as we look to avoid avoidable costs on this site, your husband needs to make a will (and you should have one too)

Most wills follow the rules of intestacy which specifically exclude step-children. So, if you were to die your estate would go to your husband; if he died shortly afterwards the estate would be distributed equally between his children. Your child (and his stepchild) would be specifically excluded.

The child would most likely be protected by the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 but would need to challenge the distribution, a costly and avoidable experience.

Indeed you should both have a will to stipulate who the guardians of the children are to be, both before and after adoption of your child.

vics_1982

pollocmc wrote: »

Was just interested in whether it could happen (given the zero communication I have with the ex except for checkpoint charlie style changeovers) without my input.

Oh and I agree with you re his rights btw.

No, i think that the biological father has to give his permission and vice versa if it was a step mum adopting, I'm sure however if there has been no contact etc a judge can over rule this but in your case your mothers children can not have them adopted by someone else without your permission.

Zara33

okra wrote: »

Does anyone know anything about this? My husband would like to adopt my (should say our, because 'my' sounds wrong!) eldest child.

Don't know if this would be any help to you
http://www.adoption.org.uk/information/step_adoption.html

okra

MJMum wrote: »

I'm slightly confused then, why you said in another post:

Ooooh, you're like Miss Marple :rotfl:

I'll explain (justify?) myself

The second link you posted was from the child support forum. I posted it in relation to child maintenance, which he pays. In response to the suggestion about the two of us coming to a private agreement over maintenance, I made the reply you quoted above.

The truth is, I know where he works and could probably contact him if I had to. Similarly, his parents know where I am and he knows where mine are. He also knows that he could see his daughter whenever he wishes, without recrimination or bad feeling. I have made that clear. He would only have to ask his parents for my address or number (they are on good terms). It would take one phone call on his part.

However, he made the choice to walk away from his daughter, and asked me not to contact him again, and I've respected that. In those circumstances, it would be impossible for me to contact him to discuss finances.

I'm sorry if you thought I was contradicting myself on the two different threads, but the full story wasn't really relevant on the child support thread.

Spendless

okra wrote: »

I posted it in relation to child maintenance, which he pays.

I may be wrong but I was under the impression that maintainance would stop if the child was adopted.