How to agree a fair split in a separation?

icklepiggle

Person_one wrote: »

Its not that simple when there are children and one parent will be doing the bulk of the caring for them.

That's where i was coming from i.e. i have the kids does that not make a diiference..... But then i assume that's what maintenance is for?

icklepiggle

Unluckily he has also accrued lots & lots of cc debt, so at least that will be split 50/50 too

Person_one

icklepiggle wrote: »

That's where i was coming from i.e. i have the kids does that not make a diiference..... But then i assume that's what maintenance is for?

I'm no expert, but sometimes the family home can't be sold until the children are 18 or finish education, to provide them with stability.

So he might have to wait for his half of the profit.

You might want to consider where the children will be staying when they visit him and what would be best for your children in that regard. Even if you don't care about your ex anymore, its in the best interests of your kids to still treat him well.

NAR

icklepiggle wrote: »

Unluckily he has also accrued lots & lots of cc debt, so at least that will be split 50/50 too

Not unless it can be proved, with evidence, that the money has been spent on the family.

However you being the major earner means that he will be entitled to a considerable split of the marital assets, especially your pension.

Treevo

NAR wrote: »

Not unless it can be proved, with evidence, that the money has been spent on the family.

Or benefit of the family, or any member of it. Important distinction when deciding how hard to fight.

icklepiggle

Treevo wrote: »

Or benefit of the family, or any member of it. Important distinction when deciding how hard to fight.

A lot of it is just general expenditure when he was out of work, so i think it should get split too, i wouldn't have an issue with it

mustmakealist

As Treevo said in an earlier post ALL of the marital assets will go into a pot and then be divided between you. These will include the equity in the home, pension funds, any savings and shares etc. Credit card debts would probably be offset against these. You will then and up with a figure for your joint assets. some agreement will need to be reached as to how the pot will be divided between you. The starting point in a long marriage would be 50:50, but having young children will change this. It would not be uncommon for the parent with whom the children live would get 2/3 of the family assets, but the final figure will need to be agreed by both parties.

If you have owned the house for some time, the equity in this is likely to be one of the biggest assets and the pension pot can be surprisingly large too.

It is often worth thinking through an example to try and make it clearer. Say the equity in the house is worth £130,000 there is a pension pot (yours probably from the explanation that you have given) of £25,000, savings of £5000 and debts of £10,000 the value of the total pot would be £150,000. If this to be split 50:50, you would each be entitled to £75,000. If it was to be split 66:33 you would get £100,000 and he would get £50,000.

If you were entitled to the £100,000 this could be made up of your pension of £25,000 plus £75,000 of the house equity and he would get the balance of the equity in the house plus the savings and could use this to pay off the debt making his £50,000. This means that you would need to increase the mortgage by an additional £55,000 in order to buy him out of the house. If you couldn't do this you would probably need him to maintain an interest in the house until the children reached 18 when it would be sold and he could get his portion of the money then.

Hopefully this will help you understand what sorts of calculations are involved and you can work out your own sums using this very simple example and changing the values and looking at the percentages involved.

One way of looking at it is that you will get at least 50% of the total pot and even 60% with such young children is not unreasonable. So what is REALLY up for discussion is the difference between this figure and the amount you settle on finally. So using the figures above 50% would be £75,000, 60% would be £90,000 70% would be £105,000. If your final figure is going to lie somewhere between the 60 & 70% figures how much are you both going to spend on Solicitors fees to decide exactly where the final figure lies? If it is going to cost you thousands to get another £1000 for yourself, just stop and ask yourself who really benefits from this. It won't be you and your children if you are £4000 worse off.

I hope that this helps although I can quite empathise with you not wanting to let him have anything at all. That WILL NOT happen

maman

icklepiggle wrote: »

I saw a solicitor yesterday about drawing up a separation agreement. She said we need to agree what the % split of assets & liabilities is & then each party's solicitor will review for fairness, but how do i know what is fair to start with( i'd give him nowt if i could)

I think you need to think whether you're going for a 'full and final' settlement now (buying him out so to speak) or wait until the children have flown the nest before settling the house then.

I'm surprised the solicitor didn't give you some advice about what he's legally entitled to, how the children affect matters etc etc. Solicitors have handled similar situations loads of times they should be helping you more. I'd go back with more questions if I were you, it might be cheaper in the long run.

icklepiggle

Thanks mustmakealist & maman, you've both been very helpful

themull1

Me and my ex did it ourselves, we got the house valued via building society, there was 50,000 equity, he got 20,000 and i bought him out of the house. I've got two kids.