How to agree a fair split in a separation?

icklepiggle

I saw a solicitor yesterday about drawing up a separation agreement. She said we need to agree what the % split of assets & liabilities is & then each party's solicitor will review for fairness, but how do i know what is fair to start with( i'd give him nowt if i could)

fluffnutter

Have you got any kids? What assets do you have? House? How long have you been married? Are you both working? Did you give up your career to bring up children? Have you both got pensions?

TBH, it's a bit difficult to know what's 'fair' when we know so little about the situation. As an aside, the starting point is usually 50/50 although if there are children involved that complicates things.

icklepiggle

Ok, a summary which may help

I am keeping the kids (1 & 4) i am also keeping the house on & paying all the bills. We are both working, he earns ~ 1/2 what i do.

He is paying no child maintenance, but is paying his max childcare vouchers.

He is now privately renting.

We have been married nearly 10 yrs.

I don't see why he would be entitled to any of my pension, for example, although i can see why we wod split the equity in the house equally. But he does not have much pension provision at all

fluffnutter

Did he spend any time as a SAHD? Could he argue that his reduced salary (compared to yours) was because he put his career on hold to bring up his kids?

It's not common for a man to argue this, but it's perfectly reasonable to do so if that's the case. If successful he *might* be entitled to some of your pension.

Why isn't he paying any maintenance?

icklepiggle

fluffnutter wrote: »

Did he spend any time as a SAHD? Could he argue that his reduced salary (compared to yours) was because he put his career on hold to bring up his kids?

It's not common for a man to argue this, but it's perfectly reasonable to do so if that's the case. If successful he *might* be entitled to some of your pension.

Why isn't he paying any maintenance?

No he didn't. He hasn't got any qualifications & has struggled to decide on a career .

He isn't paying any maintenance as he can't afford it , so the vouchers are kind of in lieu of maintenance iyswim

Treevo

All of the marital assets go into the pot for a split. That includes your pension. Men have had their pensions ripped apart for decades, so you can thank all the sisters for yours being taken into account.

You were married for a long time so you should prepare yourself for a fair split - and fair doesn't mean that you keep everything because you were the higher earner.

icklepiggle

Always love your replies treevo!

But again - what is fair? He has no kids to look after, playing devils advocate what does he get the money for?

Kayalana99

icklepiggle wrote: »

Always love your replies treevo!

But again - what is fair? He has no kids to look after, playing devils advocate what does he get the money for?

Fair doesnt come into it I am afaird! You were married 10 years so everything you own is half his and vice versus. If you can get him to agree that your having more then 50% because you put more money in then try but if it goes to court it won't stand....

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news

Person_one

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Fair doesnt come into it I am afaird! You were married 10 years so everything you own is half his and vice versus. If you can get him to agree that your having more then 50% because you put more money in then try but if it goes to court it won't stand....

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news

Its not that simple when there are children and one parent will be doing the bulk of the caring for them.

phill99

I can't see the point in getting married. It's much easier to find someone you don't like and give them half of everything you own. The result is the same.

Treevo

icklepiggle wrote: »

Always love your replies treevo!

But again - what is fair? He has no kids to look after, playing devils advocate what does he get the money for?

Fair is that he pays maintenance of 20% of his income. Fair is also that he gets 50% ish of marital assets, which include the equity in the house and all other financial 'products'.

He gets the money because it was earned during the time that he was part of a legal coupling which gives him the right.

You chose to marry him. So suck it up and accept that the equality of the sexes brings financial equality.