MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

*Nutella*

Aimless wrote: »

There's always one who makes the rest of us look bad Just think of all that valuable sleep time wasted!

Or, in this case I would argue, one who makes the rest of us look normal and *sane*. Very good point about missed sleep time!

*Nutella*

By the way, Fluff, I've got some news especially for you. I'm pleased to announce that my LO is now able to do *all* the moves to 'Wind the bobbin up'. She finally cracked the troublesome 'wind' part last week, and she's very proud of herself

lao_cat

Bangton, big hugs for feeling low. I have no idea if you have PND or not but what you are feeling is normal. I have had days where I sit and watch the clock waiting till DH comes, sometimes from lunchtime.

You did have a traumatic and difficult birth, it takes 6 weeks to recover from a normal birth never mind a traumatic one. I had a rough enough time getting a handle on ds birth, it was only after 6 weeks I started to process it at all, I don't recall the exact details of your birth from the pregnancy thread but I remember that it was tough and you were quite ill afterwards. In my case it was more emotionally traumatic rather than physical, but around the 6 week mark has been the toughest so far for me. Not helped by ds 6 week growth spurt, feeding every hour and a half for 2 days. Honestly I am still struggling with it.

I find it tough being constantly behind where I think I should be and I feel frustrated all the time that I haven't made it there yet! It also doesn't help and I am used to being successful in work, there is nothing like a baby screaming for hours and there being nothing you can do to settle then to make you doubt yourself. Big hugs, am not sure if this is in anyway helpful to you, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job with everything.

AFM ds is trying to roll from his back to his tummy, but he keeps getting stuck and frustrated and he won't let anyone help him. It's great to see his little personality emerging, DH reckons he will be stubborn just like his mother.

Metranil_Vavin

Bangton you are so not alone in how you are feeling, and I think that if most new mums are honest, they'd agree with you that the first few weeks/months are tough, particularly with your first baby where you don't really know what to expect/how long a particular stage is going to last.

I was neurotic when my son was born..I was terrified most of the time (remember practically begging my OH to give up his job so he could stay at home with me after his paternity leave ran out!)..I thought I'd never be able to cope..but you just do.

Clock watching for your OH to get home in the evenings is really normal too. I still do it, mainly for me as often I won't have spoken to another adult all day so I am craving some grown up conversation!

With DS I went to loads of groups/coffees/Gymboree/Monkey Music/Sing and Sign/baby sensory/massage/yoga.. blah blah, and I totally knackered myself out, spent a ton of cash that I didn't have and quite often was too exhausted to enjoy it. DS was a baby and couldn't have cared less what we were doing as long as he was fed, had the occasional cuddle and a clean nappy!

This time around I'm so different. I'm far more relaxed and I only do things I want to do. I don't feel the compulsion to rush about to this group and that group. Often a walk down to the local shops and a coffee is my preference, particularly on those days when I am tired and don't want the effort of having to make baby-related small talk with other mums!
The first few weeks were still hellish at times, particularly as DD had colic and would start screaming at around 5pm and continue on through till about 10pm, and I did cry and wonder what I had done etc, but as with all these phases, it passed.

DD is 12 weeks old now and far calmer. She is sleeping for 6/7 hours through the night sometimes, and naps well during the day.
It's annoying when people keep saying it, but it's true..IT DOES GET BETTER! You've just got to hang in there, grit your teeth and do whatever YOU need to do to get through..so if that means just staying in your PJ's all day, watching daytime tv, or going for a walk/coffee/meeting a friend/seeing your mum for a cry etc..JUST DO IT!

**Another cliche alert coming up**
They do grow up so fast, and this baby stage is gone before you know it, so although wishing the day away for your OH to get home and for bedtine to come is normal, try and enjoy your baby whilst they are small. They'll be terrible toddlers before you know it! :rotfl:

Metranil_Vavin

I also meant to say, if your birth ws particularly unpleasant and traumatic, then you may benefit from speaking to someone about it.

I think women are often booted out of hospital after a birth, and actually the whole enormity of what they have been through doesn't hit them until weeks afterwards. Couple that with the exhaustion of no sleep and a newborn, and you can go into meltdown.

I saw a councillor for a few sessions after my DS was born, and although I didn't really gel with the councillor and so only went twice, I think just talking about stuff and reconciling in your own mind what has happened, can be really helpful.

Angelmommy

BabaMoose - I have added you to the list too. X

Kira000 - Claudia - 13th January 2012 :female:
*Ro* - Scott - 17th January 2012 :male:
Mozzyc - Charlie - 17th February 2012 :male:
Sunshine_1988 - Aiden - 11th March 2012 :male:
Sammie 03 - Noah - 20th March 2012 :male:
Dizziblonde - Erin - 9th April 2012 (7weeks prem):female:
Katiechoc - George - 5th May 2012 :male:
Nutella - 11th May 2012 :female:
turtlemoose - Reuben - 4th June 2012 :male:
fluffnutter - Freddie - 6th July 2012 :male:
Cake4brains - Amelia & Mollie - 1st November 2012 :female::female:
Bamama - Dewi - 25th December 2012 :male:
Mrshaworth2b - Blake - 16th March 2013 :male:
Saffagal - A - 26th April 2013 :female:
Lazywife - Edward - 4th May 2013 :male:
Sparkles87 - 3rd July 2013 :female:
Oscar_the_Pug - 7th August 2013 :female:
Claree__x - Eilis - 17th August 2013 :female:
amus - Anna - 1st October 2013 :female:
Continualdiamond - Scarlett - 6th October 2013 :female:
Tiny_courageous - Patrick - 6th October 2013 :male:
Bangton - Jefferson - 3rd October 2013 :male:
BabaMoose - Jack - 3rd November 2013 :male:
AngelMommy - Joshua - 3rd November 2013 :male:

WalkingOnADream

First time posting on this thread, just looking for some advice on a few issues really. My little man is just over 2 weeks old now and totally adorable (he's my first baby).

I have always been pro breastfeeding but no one ever explained how difficult it was. I only lasted a couple of days before giving up, I was a hormonal mess, he hadn't had a wet or dirty nappy in over 24 hours and was screaming with hunger all day long. I don't think he had the hang of it either as he would only suck a few times and fall asleep and nothing would wake him.
Since then he has been on formula and I feel like a massive failure. I have also been expressing when possible and also offering the breast in the hope of maybe returning to breastfeeding now he is bigger and stronger. I am totally drained as he is a 'snacker' so eats little amounts usually every hour and I need to express every 2 hours as my supply is low. As a result I am in a constant cycle of feed, pump with no time for much else. I'm in 2 minds about whether to totally give up on breastfeeding/expressing and just concentrate on spending more time with my son.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Secondly is the sleep situation. I know it's too early for a routine but is it normal for your days not to have a start or a finish? And do you try and implement a 'bedtime'? LO is usually awake most of late evening and doesn't settle to sleep until early hours in the morning and only stays asleep a few hours. With his sleep being so erratic I don't know how it's possible to have going to bed and waking up times. Is it worth trying to set the mood at say 7pm with low noise, dimmed lights etc? Or is it just pointless?

Any advice about this stage would be much appreciated.

Metranil_Vavin

Hi WOAD, congratulations on the birth of your baby and welcome to the thread

I'm no expert but from my experience (I have a nearly 3 year old and a 12 week old), trying to implement a routine as such at 2 weeks is probably too soon. From about 6 weeks you can begin to see patterns emerging, however this is different with every baby.
You certainly can try setting the mood for sleep, dimming lights turning down the tv etc, but probably shouldn't expect a baby that young to have much of an idea of day/night - this is something they learn as time goes by.

With my baby, I have been feeding her on demand, which was on the whole roughly every 3 hours but on some occasions (during growth spurts usually) she will often feed more often. As they grow and their stomachs get bigger they are able to hold more food and will begin going longer between feeds.

On your feeding question, personally I am of the school of thought that says a happy mummy makes for a happy baby. There is no point in struggling to BF if it is making you unhappy and stressed. Maybe you could try going along to a breast feeding cafe or have a chat with your HV as they should be able to offer you some tips on latching baby on correctly and different positions you can try.

Don't feel a failure. You are doing everything you can for your LO, and if formula feeding means he is getting a full belly and you are less upset and exhausted, then you should go for it.

Breastfeeding isn't easy, but if you want to persist with it, I'd say go and see someone and ask for some help/support. There are people out there who want to help you

I personally hate expressing. It takes ages and is a real drag. I always approach BF'ing that I will do it for as long as it is comfortable for me and baby seems to be getting enough milk, and then it'll be onto formula.

Metranil_Vavin

Just on the routine thing - you could try giving LO a warm bath in the evening, followed by a feed and then into bed. We do this with DD, and now at 12 weeks she settles pretty well.

lazywife

Hi Walkingonadream and welcome.
We've been lucky with bf, not had to turn to ff, but only because it worked out. My sis bf her 1st, then not her 2nd. Just depends on the baby and your supply. Although breast is best, if you're in a bad place and it's getting you down a baby ff with a happy mummy might be the greater good. There'll be others that will have god advice on expressing, supply etc.
As regards to sleep, we had quite clearly defined times to the day, whether LO was aware of them or not. In the day I'll have curtains open, any naps would be in pram carrycot. or just flat on our bed, only went in his crib at night time. Get dressed in day (well, a change of sleepsuit with a quick cotton wool water wash 1st thing?!?), then change for bed at 8 (ish) we'll sit downstairs with tv on quieter and only the stand lamp on. He'd then feed on and off until drifts off (could be 30 mins, could be 3 hrs!?). Put down into crib and in darkened bedroom (we don't have it pitch black, have a night light on). We'll the go to sleep at same time, or later. Then get up and change and feed in lowest light you need until you decide it's morning. Slowly LO will pick up the pattern.
Keep up the good work.x