Catriona's Credit Card Countdown

Orange_Ena

Evening

Hope the slimming world meeting goes well tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that your date is in a pickle. I hope he sorts himself out but make sure you look after yourself too and don't take on his problems. If he's looking for money advice, you're an expert though :T

Like I said in the last post, we're all work in progress. I do think once we tackle one area, the rest falls into place. I've spent a lot of time living in a cluttered mess, with a cluttered mind, overweight, in debt and depressed. I've sorted a lot of junk out, still more to go, my head is clearer, I'm tackling the debt, I've lost a lot of weight and I feel happier as a result. The job is the thing that's changing next. But until I got to grips with one element, I couldn't get the next one sorted.

So you didn't make it to debt free by your 35th birthday. But look how far you have come? You've done amazingly well, you're focused and you WILL be debt free by 37. But even if that doesn't quite happen, you'll be in such a great position.

I agree, I'd put the £350 to a card :T

Ooh GU's. Nom nom. Get them eaten before slimming world starts, like a food funeral :rotfl:

Have a great week

catriona79

Hello hello

Good day here with a text and an email in the morning to say that my solicitors have requested funds draw down from Nationwide on Friday this week. Completion on Monday! :dance:

catriona79

Orange_Ena wrote: »

You've definitely encouraged me with getting a lodger. I just hope I'm lucky enough to get a good one......and one that remembers to pay!

This is a great place for rambling and talking about money things. I love that I can say that I scan receipts on checkoutsm@rt for a 1p and no one thinks that's odd. Or at least they don't say I'm odd haha. And it's great to look back on to see how far we've come. Work in progress

I've seen a really cool and informative thread about lodgers on here. Loads of useful advice for would be landlords.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/577269

I was thinking it would be good to go over it and amend the lodger agreement with some of the ideas mentioned in the thread.

I am better at rambling than I am at saving!!! :rotfl::eek::o

catriona79

Orange_Ena wrote: »

Evening

Hope the slimming world meeting goes well tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that your date is in a pickle. I hope he sorts himself out but make sure you look after yourself too and don't take on his problems. If he's looking for money advice, you're an expert though :T

Like I said in the last post, we're all work in progress. I do think once we tackle one area, the rest falls into place. I've spent a lot of time living in a cluttered mess, with a cluttered mind, overweight, in debt and depressed. I've sorted a lot of junk out, still more to go, my head is clearer, I'm tackling the debt, I've lost a lot of weight and I feel happier as a result. The job is the thing that's changing next. But until I got to grips with one element, I couldn't get the next one sorted.

So you didn't make it to debt free by your 35th birthday. But look how far you have come? You've done amazingly well, you're focused and you WILL be debt free by 37. But even if that doesn't quite happen, you'll be in such a great position.

I agree, I'd put the £350 to a card :T

Ooh GU's. Nom nom. Get them eaten before slimming world starts, like a food funeral :rotfl:

Have a great week

Hello :j

Yes, date is in a pickle, girlfriend dumped him, so he booked tickets to go home to south America for THREE weeks, without having enough leave from work. Work refused him unpaid leave (hmmm... He must have been trouble..) and so, on the spot, he handed his notice in. Trouble is, his visa runs out on 15 November and nobody will employ him now. :eek:
Aaaaargh. There is no way I would ever do any of those things!

He is a good guy, my guess is he's ESFP, and so a poor planner and clearly is looking for a girl who would look after him and organise him. Why is it always me?!
I've known him for three years and went to a wedding a year ago where he was with his ex, and they were having a fantastic time. He said she was an engineer and earned twice as much as he did, and in the end said that she was not comfortable with that. It very much looks like she got fed up of looking after him.

Speaking of ESFPs, I asked my friend about the money I lent her in March 2014, it was £500. She was moving and asked me and I thought I couldn't say no, though I knew she might have trouble managing money. I said she could keep £50 as a housewarming present and we agreed that she would start paying me in September 2014. But she never mentioned it, so I asked her once, and she paid me £50 and that was all. I didn't mention it and, even though I was feeling resentful, I tried to understand, and now with my increased income, I was thinking I'd write it off.
Think I felt let down/ taken advantage of , more than sorry about the money (although obv the money was not as all sum!).
But recently she approached me about coming over and doing a demonstration to me and my housemates of some pans that help you cook without oil. I felt really uncomfortable and a bit offended that she wanted to test our friendship like that. It was on text, so I then had a chat on Saturday with L1, who said she didn't want to be involved, and in all honesty, that's how I felt too. Today, the friend texted to ask if we were still up for it, to which I asked whether its just for her to demonstrate to her manager that she knows the pitch (the manager would have to come too, to my house) or was she expecting us to buy.
The response that came really made me see red. "The products sell themselves, hun xx". Seriously, I thought we were friends and she wouldn't get me involved in some pyramid scheme. Also she sounded like a salesperson.
I let her know that she would be wasting her time, as L2 was away, L1 didn't want to buy and I didn't need any new pans, especially with lodgers. But then I also said that I was feeling awkward about it, and in a polite way asked her about the money I had lent her. i did my best to try and be supportive, but also say that I would like her to talk to me about what she intended to do.

You see, I wouldn't have minded if she paid it in sums of £25 a month, as long as she respected the promise she had made me. But she's been going out lots and drinking a fair bit, buying clothes etc but not prioritising the debt.

And I know that she hasn't got much, but I felt that my kindness had been abused. So I think when she came up with the sales pitch, I thought that was a step too far.

I have to say that she is a kind person otherwise and stood by me in many hard situations. She is lovely and has had a hard life.

Have I been too harsh? I don't feel great about having done it. Maybe that should be my indicator.
Ah, life! Can't win.

beanielou

I think you did the right thing actually.
A bit of a taker I think

Orange_Ena

catriona79 wrote: »

Hello :j

Yes, date is in a pickle, girlfriend dumped him, so he booked tickets to go home to south America for THREE weeks, without having enough leave from work. Work refused him unpaid leave (hmmm... He must have been trouble..) and so, on the spot, he handed his notice in. Trouble is, his visa runs out on 15 November and nobody will employ him now. :eek:
Aaaaargh. There is no way I would ever do any of those things!

He is a good guy, my guess is he's ESFP, and so a poor planner and clearly is looking for a girl who would look after him and organise him. Why is it always me?!
I've known him for three years and went to a wedding a year ago where he was with his ex, and they were having a fantastic time. He said she was an engineer and earned twice as much as he did, and in the end said that she was not comfortable with that. It very much looks like she got fed up of looking after him.

Speaking of ESFPs, I asked my friend about the money I lent her in March 2014, it was £500. She was moving and asked me and I thought I couldn't say no, though I knew she might have trouble managing money. I said she could keep £50 as a housewarming present and we agreed that she would start paying me in September 2014. But she never mentioned it, so I asked her once, and she paid me £50 and that was all. I didn't mention it and, even though I was feeling resentful, I tried to understand, and now with my increased income, I was thinking I'd write it off.
Think I felt let down/ taken advantage of , more than sorry about the money (although obv the money was not as all sum!).
But recently she approached me about coming over and doing a demonstration to me and my housemates of some pans that help you cook without oil. I felt really uncomfortable and a bit offended that she wanted to test our friendship like that. It was on text, so I then had a chat on Saturday with L1, who said she didn't want to be involved, and in all honesty, that's how I felt too. Today, the friend texted to ask if we were still up for it, to which I asked whether its just for her to demonstrate to her manager that she knows the pitch (the manager would have to come too, to my house) or was she expecting us to buy.
The response that came really made me see red. "The products sell themselves, hun xx". Seriously, I thought we were friends and she wouldn't get me involved in some pyramid scheme. Also she sounded like a salesperson.
I let her know that she would be wasting her time, as L2 was away, L1 didn't want to buy and I didn't need any new pans, especially with lodgers. But then I also said that I was feeling awkward about it, and in a polite way asked her about the money I had lent her. i did my best to try and be supportive, but also say that I would like her to talk to me about what she intended to do.

You see, I wouldn't have minded if she paid it in sums of £25 a month, as long as she respected the promise she had made me. But she's been going out lots and drinking a fair bit, buying clothes etc but not prioritising the debt.

And I know that she hasn't got much, but I felt that my kindness had been abused. So I think when she came up with the sales pitch, I thought that was a step too far.

I have to say that she is a kind person otherwise and stood by me in many hard situations. She is lovely and has had a hard life.

Have I been too harsh? I don't feel great about having done it. Maybe that should be my indicator.
Ah, life! Can't win.

Oh my goodness, that does sound like a bit of a disaster. What was he thinking? I don't know much about these personality types but if ESFP's are known for being poor planners, I think you're spot on! Er he's got a week left before his visa runs out and he's going on a date? Ok, if he suddenly asks you to marry him........run.......run far! Don't look back! :rotfl:

As for your friend, well, I don't think you've been too harsh at all. I'd be so embarrassed if I were her. I hate owing people money. Apart from banks! Although I do hate that! But anyway, I think she's been quite rude. Money between friends is never a good idea really. You're a decent friend by lending to her but she's taken advantage of that. And if she's stood by you in hard situations, that's great, cause you're friends, and friends should be there for each other. But ignoring the repayments and not making some effort is just not on in my opinion. I'm sure you've been there for here, in more ways than money. And it's not your fault she's had a hard life. A decent friend wouldn't take advantage of another. My friend is always saying if someone isn't adding something to you life, then they're taking something away.

Anyway, tell me more about these pans? :rotfl::D

catriona79

beanielou wrote: »

I think you did the right thing actually.
A bit of a taker I think

Yeah, a bit... I was just wondering if I've been too principled, as we all have failings... But I think overall I had half written the debt off, but The fact that she tried to take advantage again made me see red. So it was setting boundaries, saying don't do this to me again.
But I wondered whether I should have just put it behind me. I'm sure she's got enough worries, even if they are of her own making.

It's so hard, Lou, balancing this situation when you want to maintain a happy relationship but avoid feeling taken advantage of. I guess my friend didn't think that by her asking to sell to me, she would actually see such strong resistance. That's only because of what I taught her before, by not setting clear boundaries.

catriona79

Orange_Ena wrote: »

Oh my goodness, that does sound like a bit of a disaster. What was he thinking? I don't know much about these personality types but if ESFP's are known for being poor planners, I think you're spot on! Er he's got a week left before his visa runs out and he's going on a date? Ok, if he suddenly asks you to marry him........run.......run far! Don't look back! :rotfl:

As for your friend, well, I don't think you've been too harsh at all. I'd be so embarrassed if I were her. I hate owing people money. Apart from banks! Although I do hate that! But anyway, I think she's been quite rude. Money between friends is never a good idea really. You're a decent friend by lending to her but she's taken advantage of that. And if she's stood by you in hard situations, that's great, cause you're friends, and friends should be there for each other. But ignoring the repayments and not making some effort is just not on in my opinion. I'm sure you've been there for here, in more ways than money. And it's not your fault she's had a hard life. A decent friend wouldn't take advantage of another. My friend is always saying if someone isn't adding something to you life, then they're taking something away.

Anyway, tell me more about these pans? :rotfl::D

Yeah, the man is a disaster, no doubt about it. I'm not even entertaining it.

The date yesterday, what a lovely man! Also, a "foreign" Irish accent. Basically, he was brought up in France by an Irish mum and a French dad, so first language is French, and second is Irish English. He kind of sounds like he's a German who has learnt to speak English in Ireland and speaks it very well! So lovely!

He's an engineer and has been single since the summer. Own house, passionate about his job, and able to talk about abstract things. We had a great evening's chat. And he is definitely not a feelings person. INTP, if I was guessing, or maybe INTJ (which is not a great match for me, too bossy!).
So have to find out in the next few weeks. But lovely company. I think he went to Oxford and I love clever people. My ex husband went to Cambridge and that's the thing I miss the most about him, his amazing intellect. I know it's not an Oxbridge thing, and hope I'm not offending anyone, what I mean to say is that I love an academic mind. I know that there are people who are very clever in business and obviously need to be strong academically to do economics at uni plus then have the people skills to make their way up in companies.
What I mean is more the theorist clever person, not necessarily a savvy business minded person, that's what I miss! Putting the world to rights having someone tell me random facts and admiring them for it I love knowledge

So my date yesterday did come across as a bit naive in political terms, and maybe too conservative, but I'll have to suss him out. I think, whatever his views, he is a kind person.
I remember one of the first dates with the ex (not husband, ex bf) where he was really rude to a beggar and it shocked me and hurt me. I don't think this guy would do that.

What I thought was lovely, was that he looked after me in small ways, opened the door, cleared away dirty wine glasses from the table we sat at and did all that without appearing suave, you know, like a player would. It's not done for effect, but just naturally. He seems like he would be a good, caring partner. Solid.

He sent me a message saying he'd had a lovely time. So it is looking promising. :T

I think I was due an good date after all the epic fails, it's a numbers game I'm told!!! :rotfl:

catriona79

Orange_Ena wrote: »

As for your friend, well, I don't think you've been too harsh at all. I'd be so embarrassed if I were her. I hate owing people money. Apart from banks! Although I do hate that! But anyway, I think she's been quite rude. Money between friends is never a good idea really. You're a decent friend by lending to her but she's taken advantage of that. And if she's stood by you in hard situations, that's great, cause you're friends, and friends should be there for each other. But ignoring the repayments and not making some effort is just not on in my opinion. I'm sure you've been there for here, in more ways than money. And it's not your fault she's had a hard life. A decent friend wouldn't take advantage of another. My friend is always saying if someone isn't adding something to you life, then they're taking something away.

Anyway, tell me more about these pans? :rotfl::D

Don't!!! :rotfl: The products sell themselves, darlin! (Spoken in a Delboy voice)

Yeah, I guess I just have to get over it, I can't win anyway. If I hadn't mentioned it, I'd resent her for taking advantage, now I'm feeling guilty for asking for it back. Clearly I've been thinking about it more than she has. That's irritating too.

In the last year, to avoid feeling resentful, I just wouldn't go out with her. I don't think there's any point having a conversation about it, I think I'd embarrass her. And she genuinely has v little money and probably can't afford even her own drinks, she just needs to go out more than I do, as she's extremely extroverted. Luckily for her, she genuinely has no problem having other people pay for her. I really sometimes wish I had that skill.

A classic is, when we go out, towards the end of the night when it's her turn to go to the bar, she gets up and says to me "do you want a water?" :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: what can you say to that

But, she has also been there for me when I needed her (which I have reciprocated). She understands feelings and is a kind person. I do hope our friendship survives this and that she doesn't put me in this position again.

catriona79

I have just updated my signature and worked out that, after my lodger paid me last week, I have now gone over the half debt neutral mark. :T:A


:dance: Very happy!! :dance:

Debt

Halifax card - £5900 – 0% until March 2016
Santander card - £2780 – 0% until May 2016
Virgin card - £850 – 0% until January 2016


Savings

TSB account - £2820
FD regular saver - £1200
HSBC ISA – £320
M&S regular saver - £100
Car savings - £210
Rent acc - £500



Total debt is: :eek::eek::eek: £9530 :eek::eek::eek:


Total savings are: :A:A:A £5140:A:A:A