Why are you a DFW?

prophecy_grrl

I'm a DFW because I want to be able to have all the nice things without the worry of how to pay for them.

DH and I don't have an extravagent lifestyle, but through one thing and another have got into debt over the last 5 years. Not as much as some, but enough to make me worry. I found this site last Autumn while googling for info on local car boot sales, and have been addicted since. I faced up to things properly with my LBM at the end of December. I have been so inspired by those who post here that I have made great inroads into the debt, have started budgetting and even saving a little.

At present my DFD is July 2010, that's with making no overpayments on my loans and a little overpayment on the CCs. When DH starts working in September, we will use the extra income to kick the debts into touch as fast as possible.

Snaggles

I'm a DFW because we have worked so hard to repay our debts (not quite there yet but nearly) but it's so easy to slip up and overspend (hello new £20 fan that we have bought for ds's bedroom this morning :hello:).

In the first few years of being together we went through hell financially, to the point where we could barely afford to eat, and NEVER went out at all, but we kept plugging away at the debts, and things are getting much easier, even with a new baby on the way.

I don't want to ever go back there, that's why I'm here.

shamu95

Hi,
im a dfw as i cant cope with all the sleepless nights and the constant charges from my bank from being constanly overdrawn. I want to lose this black cloud over my head that gets me down so much. I want to be positive and turn my situation around and not need to fear threatening letters or phonecalls.
Above all i want to keep the house and to give my children a happy life with a mother who isnt always stressed tired and upset.
i will suceed along with all of you.

oops_a_daisy

I come on here to keep me on the straight and narrow and to pass on any advice from my experience. I still pick up tips from here even after a year, I thought the money savings would dry up but still there are more things to do. Before MSE I wouldnt have bothered with reclaiming bank charges, claiming endowment mis selling compensation, re claiming mortgage exit fees back, challenging council tax banding and reclaiming overpayments, etc etc the list just keeps going on. It is also nice to see how well others are doing in paying off their debts and turning their lives around.

CAFCGirl

I am a DFW because I want to have the opportunity to wake up one day and rub ALL my MONEY all over my body!!!!

Cold hard cash and it'll all be mine!
MINE MINE MINE!!!

Gemmzie

I'm here to help my parents become solvent and eventually debt free. And clear my own debts extra fast (£1700 in four months, when you earn £300 is pretty good going :eek:)

Plus, I'm sad and like fiddling with figures...

gemsaysdontdodebtkids

I'm a DFW because I'm in a shedload of debt!

I really can't think of any other reason other than that I want to get out of serious debt by the time I'm 30. My boyfriend has no debts and I want us to owe nothing by the time we settle down and have a family.

Penny2myName

Its rather complicated, ok if you can follow it, back at the beginning of last year (march time) I had managed to get to just £1200 debt left owing after having maxed 3 peoples catalogues to the sum of 4k out and having an outstanding loan of £800 to an ex i saw for all of two weeks (very kind person and that's the debt that plagues me with guilt the most) As that was my only interest free one, its what has been left till last. (burnt house down and had no insurance, needed to replace EVERYTHING including smalls:eek:)
Anyhow, I was on income support with three children, I had managed to get clear the balance of two catolgues and just had my own left to clear (£400) and the (£800) to ex, I was able to afford for all 3 of my children to go to martial arts and swimming lessons (at last my kids were benefiting). Anyhow, due to personal reasons my youngest moved to my mums so my income dropped by near on £200 a month, I could still just about manage for the other two to attend there classes (mum now paid for youngest son's with the money she got for him). Anyhow one month after he moved the Hamster came ill, I talked with the children and explained that i could not afford both vet fees and their classes with my now decreased income. Kids chose to stop their lessons for awhile. I did feel real bad over this and took what ever job i could find (industrial cleaner, after stating i would never work as a cleaner) kids had their lessons reinstated, I started driving lessons, and £200 i forgot about got added onto my catalogue (BNPL).
Dont ask me why but I put ex's loan to back of mind, think i wanted catalogue cleared and for me and mine to actually enjoy life. I got my maintenance bonus through which i was going to use towards ex, when my brother got a letter demanding he pay £500 to Capital one within 7 days (he truly thought he had paid it off the previous year, but couldn't find his final bill) so I lent £300 to him towards it, still not got it back, that was in the August anyhow. By the way the Hamster died in the June anyhow. In September my daughter started at high school, due to the fact she isn't at the local one but one on the other side of town, she has a long day, with me having to leave for work at 6 in the mornings, my kids were getting up at 5:30am at the latest, and going to my mum's.
On my birthday beginning of dec, my DD had a grading, so me and DS went and walked around DFS (BAD MISTAKE) we both fell in love with a certain suite, for first time in my life I made the mistake of walking around DFS with my bank card(debit) in pocket (had paid for DD's grading with it). Me and DS left with two agreements in my hand. Two days after the cooling off period and one sofa in my house, I got called at work to collect my daughter from school as she had fallen asleep due to exhaustion. When I got there, they told me they didn't want her back till she was fully rested. Luckily my mum was able to have daughter during this period. After spending the evening going trough all my options I went to work the next day and handed my notice in. Both my manager and supervisor were able to see this was not an easy decision, but my kids health comes first. Anyhow they stuck there heads together and came up with a plan for me to work as much around the kids as possible, in other words going part time and starting after kids have gone to school and being home for when they finished. This worked great for two months, till my kids spent almost three weeks playing tag at being ill, during the same period that my mum was ill, so unable to have them (she suffers cancer and has bad periods, luckily not terminal) This meant I had no income coming in, i fell a month behind with rent and when both DD and DS were able to return to school, I couldn't afford the travel to get to work. So I called my manager in tears and handed my notice in over the phone. Panicking over covering all my Direct Debits and feeding us, plus finding my missing months rent money, I realised I needed a set income that wasn't going to change if my kids and DM were ill at same time. So I am back where I started, this time last year on income support with an extra £5k of debt ( I had forgot about the BNPL bedroom stuff i was to have added to my catalogue in Jan of this year)
The first thing I did when I gave work up (ten minutes after calling manager) was to cancel my driving lessons. I spoke with my children when they came home from school, explained how I had let them down and that they would once again have to give up their lessons.

So why do I want to be DFW, well to be frank, I am sick of my kids losing out due to my lack of money management.

*zippy*

I don't know if anyone else has found this, but my motivation to pay the debt off has changed. Originally it was that I could finish my job to concentrate on my business and hubby wanted to change to a less stressfull job with less hours.

18 months in I have realised I don't want to give up work and DH seems more settled. I think the motivation now is security and I want to live normally. It would be nice to go on holiday once a year, have lunch out occassionally, have some savings and get our house sorted, things pre-debt I took for granted.

medman

:grouphug:

WOW! Penny, that's why I'm here, to try and support people like you.

Hang in there, kids are pretty resilient they will remember the good times when they're older, not going without. Single parenthood is no easy path and not for the feint hearted.

Best wishes

MM