another splitting the bill thread (a question)

krlyr

How about you see how much the children's meals are (either on the day, or on an online menu if it's available), and the parents pay this. With those and grandma's contribution, the rest of the bill can be split equally between the adults.
So bill comes to £200, for example, children's meals were £5 each.
Uncle with kid puts in £10
You put in £5
Cousin puts in £5
Grandma puts in £100
That leaves £80 to be split between the adults (11 or 12 ways, depending on the answer to Meadows' question on identity of Mum/Grandma)
OK, it means the children's meals haven't been paid for by Grandma, but it means the non-parents haven't subsidised the children's meals either. You, your uncle and your cousin benefit from money off your own meals anyway.

Or perhaps the fairest, but a bit fiddly, way is to say Grandma's giving to everyone equally, kids including. If she's attending, then her money pays her bill, and then the remainder is divided out equally between the number of people, including kids. You all have this amount taken off what your meals cost, and you make up the rest. Means faffing around with prices and dividing figures, etc. though so depends on how fussed everyone is.

To be completely fair I would ask everyone how they want to do it. Maybe come up with some rough figures beforehand, but deciding the method on everyone's behalf may cause that awkward issue of people feeling cheated as they don't get a say in how its done. At the end of the day, it only takes another 5 minutes or so for someone to sit there with a phone with a calculator app to work it out if certain people want to only contribute what they paid etc. yet it saves the resentment of people feeling they overpaid. It doesn't have to be split-the-bill or work-out-the-bill, I often do a combination because I'm a non-drinker who generally won't have a starter or dessert so my bill is often a lot less than others - fortunately I go out with understanding family and friends who are happy to (and usually insist on) work out my part and then split the rest between them if that's what they want to do.

andy.m_2

Krlyr: seems a VERY convoluted way of working it out and I for one would be shamefully cringing while you worked it all out, even better if you asked the waitress for a calculator to do it!

Simple to sort:

split = (bill-£100)/6

Importantly, enjoy the evening as a family.
Using averages to take into account the kids meals means that those without kids will end up paying something like £2 extra, a small price to pay for being together and making memories together.
I bet that Grandma would be delighted to think that her contribution covered the kids for their meals.

Thing is though, don't put the topic up for discussion in case you get a Krlyr who wants to work it all our, simply say it's easier to splitt he bill less Grannies genrous contribution between the remaining adults.

Within our circle of friends we have a girl who wants to work it all out to the penny, she now only gets invited to one in every four meals or so!

krlyr

Not really that complicated. I go out for dinner, order a meal and a drink (or maybe two). Cost of my meal + cost of my drink takes about 30 seconds to add (since prices are usually £x.99 I round to the pound, so maybe 8 + 3 + 3 - if it's any more complex I have my phone on me which has a calculator app, no need to carry or request a calculator!). Rest of the meal is then divided between the lot, however they see fit. For ease, I tend to whack in the same tip as everyone.

Considering the last meal I went out to with friends, I had 1 soft drink and a main, the other two each had a starter, main (one with extra sides), dessert and 3 pitchers of cocktails to share, the cost of theirs vs mine was a lot different - when it came to paying, they wouldn't even entertain the idea of me splitting the bill. While they were finishing their pitchers I just added up the two figures in my head, plus my share of the tip, chucked that in and then they decided how to split the rest between them.

Not difficult or cringeworthy really, is it.

Like I said, different people may prefer different ways. OP assumes the family are happy to split equally, but is this through genuinely not caring, or feeling pressured to keep the peace. It's relatively easy to keep everyone happy with either method and at least you've taken their opinions into consideration - the gesture is worth more than the few pounds you may be under/overpaying IMO.

peachyprice

Spaghetti Monster, it all comes down to how picky your family are.

Are they the kind of people that are going to start bickering at the table because one family had children's meals, another person had wine, another had an extra beer, half had starters, some had garlic bread, three had desserts?

If not, then just go with the 1/6 for each family and keep it as simple as possible. If they want is split according to what each has had then ask for separate bills and agree to this at the begining, using Grandma's £100 for the drinks. The last thing you want is to be coming up with some convoluted calculations at the table, it's embarassing and uncomfortable for everyone.

sweetcheekz

I agree, go for what is the less stressful way of doing things! If i was in this situation I would be happy to pay an equal share of the bill, regardless of if others had children or not, these would be members of my family and I would not begrudge a few pounds for a happy family occasion

Of course a situation with mates etc, where there was a greater difference in the amount of food and alcohol being ordered, I would certainly be less happy to pay more

silvercar

sweetcheekz wrote: »

I agree, go for what is the less stressful way of doing things! If i was in this situation I would be happy to pay an equal share of the bill, regardless of if others had children or not, these would be members of my family and I would not begrudge a few pounds for a happy family occasion

Agreed, particularly as grandma has chipped in far more than her fair share to ensure everyone has a good time. So being petty over pennies (or even pounds) when what you would be fighting over is the amount of grandma's £100 that benefited you is really out of order.

elsien

And if anyone has anything expensive, they can whack a bit extra into the tip to balance it out.

19lottie82

easy

Bill (-£100) / 11 (adults, apart from graany who has already paid the £100)

I can't believe anyone would get the calculator out at a family do like this. I certainly wouldn't embarrass myself by doing so, especially when you've already got a cheap meal courtesy of Granny.

BUT I don't see the logic behind the 1/6 thing either, it really gets my goat when couples expect to pay for just one person, when they have eaten 2 meals!

peachyprice

19lottie82 wrote: »

BUT I don't see the logic behind the 1/6 thing either, it really gets my goat when couples expect to pay for just one person, when they have eaten 2 meals!

In this case they are all couples, they're all paying for 2 meals, not one, except Mum and Uncle, who most have suggested only pay half of the 1/6th each so one meal each. I don't see your gripe with that.

FatVonD

'Listen up everybody, Granny has paid for herself(?), anything the great grandkids ordered food wise and a bit towards the the drinks. That leaves x amount to be divided between the rest of the adults so that'll be y pounds per head, please, which includes the tip'