PIP for Aspergers

nannytone_2

i dont really find it difficult on here ... though other people seem to find me difficult! i try to be taxtful, but am aware that i can appear to be very blunt and seem unsympathertic.
i do tend to see things as black or white, with very few shafes of grey. if i come to the opinion that something isnt fair, then i will shout it from the rooftops and drive everyone else mad.
i dont get lost at all anymore, but thats because i cant be trusted to go out on my own, but i did used to get lost wuite often. my bigges problem was my inability to ask anyone for help or directions.
i dont have a lot of the 'big' aspergers symptoms ... not being able to empathise, lack of emotion, taking things literall, etc... but i seem to have all the 'minor' symptoms. obsessions, interests in random things, terribly unco ordinated and poor balance, speaking in a loud voice, avoiding eye contact, poor social skills, unaware of body language and facial expression ( before my sight was so bad) ... lots more.
the one big contradiction with me is the 'space invading' .
not only dont i invade other peoples space, i dont like other people too near, and really cant bear people to touch me ... unless i invite them to ( not formally invite, lol) going to the dentist used to be a terrible ordeal. not because of the pain aspect, but i couldnt bear the dentist to be close enough to look in my mouth, thats one good thing about my sight ... i now can no longer see him, so am far more relaxed

my ex used to say he was amazed that no one ever hit me, because i could be so offensive ( not deliberately) but on the whole , people just think im outspoken and dont seem to realise its anything else.
it does polarose peoples opinions of me though.
they either love me or hate me. but thats ok... i wouldnt want to be just tolerated

mysterygirl1986

Hi there,

I haven't had time to read the reply's but I do know it can be hard to get benefits specially dla but as long as your docs diagnosed you and/or are in treatment you will be able to receive dla if you haven't been fully diagnosed then you will receive basic payments. I have epilepsy and my brother as Aspergers we both receive dla hope this helps pm if can help more

nannytone_2

mysterygirl1986 wrote: »

Hi there,

I haven't had time to read the reply's but I do know it can be hard to get benefits specially dla but as long as your docs diagnosed you and/or are in treatment you will be able to receive dla if you haven't been fully diagnosed then you will receive basic payments. I have epilepsy and my brother as Aspergers we both receive dla hope this helps pm if can help more

that is totally untrue.
no one with ANY condition will get DLA just because a doctor has diagnosed thenm and is treating them!
DLA is only awarded for care.mobility needs, regardless of diagnosis or treatment.

exarmydreamer

nannytone wrote: »

i dont really find it difficult on here ... though other people seem to find me difficult! i try to be taxtful, but am aware that i can appear to be very blunt and seem unsympathertic.
i do tend to see things as black or white, with very few shafes of grey. if i come to the opinion that something isnt fair, then i will shout it from the rooftops and drive everyone else mad.
i dont get lost at all anymore, but thats because i cant be trusted to go out on my own, but i did used to get lost wuite often. my bigges problem was my inability to ask anyone for help or directions.
i dont have a lot of the 'big' aspergers symptoms ... not being able to empathise, lack of emotion, taking things literall, etc... but i seem to have all the 'minor' symptoms. obsessions, interests in random things, terribly unco ordinated and poor balance, speaking in a loud voice, avoiding eye contact, poor social skills, unaware of body language and facial expression ( before my sight was so bad) ... lots more.
the one big contradiction with me is the 'space invading' .
not only dont i invade other peoples space, i dont like other people too near, and really cant bear people to touch me ... unless i invite them to ( not formally invite, lol) going to the dentist used to be a terrible ordeal. not because of the pain aspect, but i couldnt bear the dentist to be close enough to look in my mouth, thats one good thing about my sight ... i now can no longer see him, so am far more relaxed

my ex used to say he was amazed that no one ever hit me, because i could be so offensive ( not deliberately) but on the whole , people just think im outspoken and dont seem to realise its anything else.
it does polarose peoples opinions of me though.
they either love me or hate me. but thats ok... i wouldnt want to be just tolerated

I'm very black and white too, I seem to just rub people up the wrong way. My in-laws absolutely hate me and blame me for our son's Autism. I actually can't bare to be touched, even when my non autistic daughter want's a hug, my two boys are so different, one does not like being touched and the other is inappropriately in your face/chest/hair etc. My husband cannot kiss me on the face, he accepts that it's me not him.:(

My obsessions are very bad, the first diet I ever went on when I was 19 and rather large got so out of hand that I lost 6 st. I believed that I could not eat anything and completely stopped eating because that was a diet. I ended up 6st and ill.

It is only recently that I have come to accept myself and not beat myself up anymore. At the same time, I have started taking the children out into public places again, as I now feel stronger and more confident to respond to people's attitudes towards them.

mazza111

I've enjoyed reading your stories of Aspergers. I have one great nephew who has been diagnosed and one nephew who I suspect. He can talk for hours about his favourite football team and can name every player who has ever signed for them and played in the first team. Has poor eye contact, very outspoken. It's ticked a lot of boxes for me reading this. He also has bad diabetes, which they have never been able to control. Despite being on 3 injections a day and he's obsessive about it.

As for the people just being diagnosed to get extra money :wall: Seriously, I'm sure they would prefer their children to have as normal a life as possible rather than to need the extra money. I know I'd rather have my dd bouncing around like Tigger, than being a part time wheelchair user!

It's like HMS, it's more diagnosed now than it's ever been, but that's due to the support of organisations like the HMSA and the great work they do. I'm sure there are other charities for aspergers and autism that will do much of the same work, raising awareness.

nannytone_2

exarmydreamer wrote: »

I'm very black and white too, I seem to just rub people up the wrong way. My in-laws absolutely hate me and blame me for our son's Autism. I actually can't bare to be touched, even when my non autistic daughter want's a hug, my two boys are so different, one does not like being touched and the other is inappropriately in your face/chest/hair etc. My husband cannot kiss me on the face, he accepts that it's me not him.:(

My obsessions are very bad, the first diet I ever went on when I was 19 and rather large got so out of hand that I lost 6 st. I believed that I could not eat anything and completely stopped eating because that was a diet. I ended up 6st and ill.

It is only recently that I have come to accept myself and not beat myself up anymore. At the same time, I have started taking the children out into public places again, as I now feel stronger and more confident to respond to people's attitudes towards them.

when i get close enough to someone to be affectionate, i am over affectionate.
when my kids were small i a;most smothered them with affection, but now theyre adultsi dont like them to touch me. im very affectionate to the grandbabies though, and it isnt forced at all... i love to kiss and cuddle them.

my daughters youngest son sadly passed away nearly 3 years ago, and it was the worst thing any of us has ever experienced.
it makes me ashamed to say, that even at that time, i had to force myself to put my arms around my daughter, and i was cringing inside the whole time i was doing it, i just hope she didnt realise. she hasnt said anything since, so i hope it helped in some way.
it upsets me because it should be the most natural thing in the world for a mother to comfort her child, regardles of how old the child is.
i too have issues with food, but i think a lot of that has come from my mother. according to her, the worst thing any person could be was fat.
its not a belief i agree with in anyway, but i watch what i eat fanatically.
i always used to keep my weight at 7 10, but in the last 2 years, it has come down to 7 3. i put that down to all the stres ive been under, for lots of different reasons, but it bothers me that this is now my 'norm' as i can see that im underweight.
i have considered that akk these obsessions and havits may just be something to keep my mind occupied, and to stop it straying to things that i dont want to think about.
but thats always been my biggest problem...
i just think too much!

exarmydreamer

nannytone wrote: »

im thinking about it now .....
eating is a big thing with me.
i HAVE to eat at the same times everyday. and i eat the same thing every day for months on end ( its beans on toast at the minute). then i change to something else and eat that everyday for months.
i can see that this isnt normal behaviour, but i cant stop myself.
the mind is a weird thing indeed

I think it's a comfort, a familiar routine. I eat nothing but toast and anchor butter during the day and can take or leave anything else. I also eat at the same time and place, no matter what is going on.

My 7 yr old has had nothing but jam sandwiches for lunch since nursery, so that's about 3 yrs. Will not under any circumstances eat anything else. He will also not use cutlery, he has to use his fingers, then smell it, then touch it with his tongue and then eat it.

Evenings I have a few choices for him, but anything 'wet', has to go in a seperate bowl and no foods are to touch on the plate.

My oldest is a lot easier, he loves plain pasta and will eat bowls of it but still has the same ham and sauce sandwich every lunchtime as well, (about 7 yr of packed lunches).

exarmydreamer

nannytone wrote: »

my daughters youngest son sadly passed away nearly 3 years ago, and it was the worst thing any of us has ever experienced.
it makes me ashamed to say, that even at that time, i had to force myself to put my arms around my daughter, and i was cringing inside the whole time i was doing it, i just hope she didnt realise. she hasnt said anything since, so i hope it helped in some way.
it upsets me because it should be the most natural thing in the world for a mother to comfort her child, regardles of how old the child is.

My father died in July last year and my husband could not understand that I was not showing any emotion. I find this very difficult but my mother and older sister are the same as well. We also talk over each other, almost as if we are having a conversation with ourselves in the same room. I find emotion very difficult and avoid contact as much as possible but 'i am aware that my children need to learn that cuddling is good and expression is good. I just feel that I don't know how to do it!.

I dare not diet ever again, I know I will go to far and can't afford to be ill again. I must go now but I have enjoyed your comments and take care.

nannytone_2

i do wonder if any of it is learnt behaviour though.
we all get subliminal messages, and even when we think we're hiding things from our kids, its suprising what they pick up on.

my daughter wont use bleach, as she says when she was a kid and came in from school.... if she smelt bleach she knew that i was 'on one' and that she had to tread carefully.
when things are stresful, then my symptoms seem to get worse. or maybe i just get less able to hide them?
i really dont know.
when my daughter was a baby.... and even when i was pregnant with her ... i had an irrational fear that something was going to happen to her. way more than the usual worries.
and it never got better. it just got worse and worse. yet with my son it was just the usual amount of worry. checking on him before i went to bed, watching the clock when it was time for him to come home from school.
i used to stand over my daughter for hours, to check she was breathing. even poking her to make her move! and this was when she was a teenager. she used to wake up and go mad at me. she bever ever went to school on her own. either i'd take her or my son would. and that was right up until she left school at 18.
from 13 she was allowed to come home on her own, because i'd know in minutes if she didnt walk in the door. but if i let her go alone, i wouldnt find out if she was ok until she didnt come hiome that night...

its a wonder she isnt a nervous wreck!
i'm fully aware that i'm making myself sound like a fully fledged fruit loop here.
and im not ... honest!

Beetlemama

Oh this is the best thread I've read in years, it's all so familiar but there are so few parents/kids in our area I can associate with. Our son has AS and my husband just refuses to accept it, I knew from when he was a little baby that he was "different", people often said what a "serious looking baby" he was but I knew he was just seeing the world differently. He never played with his toys, he just wanted 10 identical items and then he'd stand them in a line and look at them, he didn't speak, he could say a couple of words by his 1st birthday but then he stopped talking and didn't start again until he was two and a half and then in full paragraphs (hasn't stopped to take a breath since!)

It took a long time for my husband to stop blaming it on his age and start seeing that other kids could do something DS couldn't. He's only 10 now, so it was easy to say "He's only 4" or 5 or 7 - he'll catch up.

I'm OCD but usually ok, when i'm stressed it's an issue but usually I manage just being quirky, and DH is probably on the spectrum with DS, they have a lot in common but DH says his differences are just his personality. I'm not convinced. DH is a Love me or hate me kind of guy too who says inappropriate things in shops - we got round that by my just not taking him any more. DS has always been able to talk forever about something no-one cares about but him without noticing, I call it having a conversation with a corpse because he would keep talking even if his listener passed away and DS wouldn't notice for hours - or maybe never, he'd probably just get done saying what he wanted to say and walk off lol.

DS still never gets his shoes on the right feet but mostly gets his clothes on the right way now' it's hit or miss, I still right L and R in his shoes, he's in a standard school but he flips between getting straight A's and not giving a toss because he doesn't find the subject relevant (art and PE), he has dyspraxia so he's got some physical issues but not anything we'd claim any benefits for, we've been lucky that the school were happy to provide him with a laptop to do his work on, the only expensive special needs item he has is a Quest 88 Panther tricycle because he can't balance on a bike.

Anyway, it was nice to read everyone elses stories and tales, I'm sorry we're all here and that their lives are harder in some respects, but I'm sure yours are as amazing as mine is. If anyone discovers a trick to making them care about how they look please share, it drives me mad that I have to tell him to wash or change his clothes (or go for a poo!) it worries me that keeping telling him I am taking away his decision making, but otoh he just wouldn't bother if I didn't say something.

Funniest moment - he was about 5, in a shop behind a lady with tampax in her basket, nice and LOUD "Those are for her vagina aren't they Mum" - like it was a pet she has or something. NOW I realise why people use euphemisms for kids.