Inappropriate Topics at Guides

kitschkitty

Just wanted to say it's not the kind of topic we discussed when I was in the guides - I'm quite surprised, and can understand why your daughter (or any younger guides) might be upset or uncomfortable.

Whether a parent decides it's an appropriate subject for their daughter to discuss (or not), I think the parents should have been notified in advance that the guiders were considering it as a topic, finding out afterwards is not acceptable IMHO and that's what I'd want to raise with the guiders if nothing else.

I also would look to see if there are any other local guide groups, or scouts (for boys & girls) or other out of school clubs or groups, as I do think a lot of children get a lot out of them, but you do need to feel welcomed, and comfortable in the group.

sparrer

kitschkitty wrote: »

Whether a parent decides it's an appropriate subject for their daughter to discuss (or not), I think the parents should have been notified in advance that the guiders were considering it as a topic, finding out afterwards is not acceptable IMHO and that's what I'd want to raise with the guiders if nothing else.

Just my two penn'orth - I agree. I understand that schools inform parents when a topic on such a subject is planned for children at that age, the Guider should have done the same. You're right to discuss with her and let her know how you, and your daughter feel.

peachyprice

My DD hated Guides when she started, she was 10 and a half when she went up. She found it very very different to Brownies and it took her quite a while to get used to it, they really don't seem to do very much and they are all so much more grown up.

In our pack they do separate the older girls from the younger though so that they are taking part in more age appropriate activities and discussions.

TBH, she has only just started to really enjoy it a year later and now that she has started secondary school, it was all a little too grown up for her before and she would have preferred to have stayed at Brownies longer.

I would definitley speak to the leaders if they are making your daughter uncomfortable, it would be a shame for her to leave over this once incident.

heretolearn_2

Found this for you. Did they have one of the 'Get Wise' sessions mentioned here. If so, you should have been told in advance.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1538499/Girl-Guides-to-be-offered-advice-on-safe-sex.html

I don't see anything wrong with Guides offering sex/relationship education but I do have a huge problem with ANY organisation/group doing this without the parents' knowledge or consent. How do you know what they are being taught?

creased-leach

Some domestic abuse groups send cousellors out into educational settings to educate and inform youngsters, in a very gentle way, as to what constitutes abuse- and that which one should expect from a healthy, respectful relationships.

A lot of youngsters are unaware of what constitutes abuse. A lot of adults are, too. An abuser would have a far harder time manipulating and moulding someone who was aware of the danger signs.

If this is what was being attempted, it can only be a good thing:
http://www.risingsunkent.com/love-shouldnt-hurt/

cte1111

It sounds like it might have been one of those sessions heretolearn, perhaps just bad timing that it came up so soon after my daughter joining.

I've been to the school's information sessions where they explained what they teach the children about growing up etc. My children go to a very multi-cultural school and many of my daughter's closest friends are from traditional muslim backgrounds. The school works hard to ensure that parents know what the children are going to be taught about and that the more conservative parents are encourage to allow their children to receive the growing up information too. So it's a bit of a shock to go from almost one extreme to the other.

Like I said, I think of myself as liberal, but perhaps this is just in comparison to some of our friends who are from different backgrounds. Honestly I don't want my little girl to be told about rape, at an age where her school hasn't yet covered the basics of sexual education with them. I feel that I've just about done enough to tell her about puberty, perhaps I could have done more and I will take other people's thoughts on board.

suki1001

I was at a domestic abuse conference a few weeks ago and there was huge concern about teenage girls and domestic violence, because they are so much more less likely to report it and put themselves into very vulnerable positions (having photos taken of themselves naked etc), so I can see this type of topic being focused on in schools/groups a lot more.

I'm in two minds. A year 5 child does seem very young, but then I remember explaining to my daughter when she was younger about not being afraid to tell me if she ever felt an adult touched her inapproriately or did something she felt uncomfortable with (in the same way we learnt about stranger danger) - so she would be aware it was wrong on the rare chance she may have been put into that position. So it depends how it was discussed I suppose.
I'd rather my daughter was well aware of these topics before they actually happened and not when they've begun.

If your daughter doesn't seem disturbed by it then I wouldn't be worried - however, I can understand why you are upset.

peachyprice

I've just picked up on this, but year 5 seems really young to go up to Guides, is that normal in your Brownie/Guide district?

Ours go at 10.5, no sooner, sometimes a little later if there are no spaces. DD went up in the spring term of yr 6, so she'd already had sex ed at school. There's no way she'd have enjoyed mixing with teenagers when she was in yr5.

firesidemaid

Guides does seem to have changed since my day!

It was still about having fun, crafts, camping, badges and also becoming adept at all sort of tasks.

It was also a mixture of things done within the patrols and as a joint group - with the older ones helping to look after the younger ones.

i don't remember having talks like that at guides. although i don't have children i can see that in this current age of social networking and peer pressure that girls are at risk of putting or finding themselves in dangerous positions and not understanding or realising the consequences or what can happen.

andy.m_2

by 13 they should be talking about contraception and the like, so 10 for boyfriends seems sensible enough.