Caring for my Mothers Dementia.

CH27

Mojisola wrote: »

Agree - it's got to be at least one third of the household expenses and the full cost of any professional carers and that would include the cost of a cleaner or gardener, if you have them.

If you don't have help, think about getting at least a cleaner.

The stress involved with being a full-time carer creeps up on you because the person's needs usually increase steadily. You won't realise how stressed you are until you stop caring. Take advice from those of us who have been there before you and get help in whatever form takes the pressure off you.

This is so true!

PurpleJay

Hi my mum lived with us for 2 years before going into a care home in nov 2011. She has severe dementia. Her going into care followed a 3 month stay in hospital where she deteriorated a lot and lost her mobility. She couldn't be left alone. I am 40 and am an only child, we have a 6 yo. We would never have got her to agree to go and she hated it at first but is now settled. She has forgotten she ever lived here bless her.

We sold both homes and combined equity to create home for us all with a grannie flat. Initially she paid 1/3 of the outgoings. Once she got attendance allowance she gave me some of that too. We agreed on 400 PCM.

It is fine for you to take a contribution towards food, bills and care and to expect any respite care to be paid by her. There won't be any arguments if you are an only child.

Do contact social services for an assessment to give you some free time and as others have said, the Alzheimer's society forums offer a great source of info and support. You a doing a great job. I know how hard it is, don't be afraid to ask for help.