Office politics - point scoring!

suki1001

Good post Breacon.
Much as I'm all for letting your boss know - it would be good if you can try Brecon's method, but that means turning what you think of this woman on it's head. Although by Breacon's reckoning, you already have this down to a tee which is probably quite true. I'm not sure if your manager won't be interested, and don't feel put off if you do want to talk to him. However, if you can do Breacon's, it will help you cope everytime you end up working with someone like this - because this woman probably won't be the last unfortunately.

Don't take it personally - this woman is like she is because of her personality and not because of you. what's more she is probably deeply unhappy, jealous and actually quite insecure. If it was someone else sitting in your chair she would be doing the same thing to them.

It's something I only learnt to do a couple of years ago - and then I found the woman who was quite frankly painful to work with, was very funny - that is her way of working was very commical (after I stopped taking it personally). Questions were met by grunts, there was no effort to help whatsoever, but then I realised she was quite an unhappy person and that everyone else had exactly the same issues with her - and they had to work more hours with her!

pickledonionspaceraider

Brecon_Beacons wrote: »

A couple of things which have crossed my mind.

You have named this thread "Office Politics - point scoring", so you appreciate that the actions you have raised are on a personality (or dare I say it, a !!!!!y?) level rather than being really, really serious, job-threatening occurrences.

I would go against all the previous advice given. Don't raise this with your Managers. They are probably already running themselves ragged with real work, and just don't want to hear about the dreaded "personality clash" where they are required to judge who in the office is right, who is wrong, when a) they don't know; and b) they couldn't care less.

Don't take this woman on in an escalating game of hostilities. You have already acknowledged that she is pretty good at being manipulative - and you, by your own admission, are not. Ms backstabber has survived for 14 years in your company,using those tactics. For all you know, they may admire her for it! I doubt there is little that you could do to change her behaviour. On the other hand, I do think that you could run the risk of hurting yourself more, by trying to commence an offensive.

And most of all, don't upset yourself about it! Work is work - it is not fair play, it is not justice, it is not good v evil! Every office, every workplace, is full of stories like yours - of people who 'get away' with things, of fools that prosper, of ambitious people who ingratiate themselves. If you allow yourself to get wound up by all this, you will not survive!

My two cents says: ignore, ignore, ignore. Concentrate firmly on YOUR job. Do a good job, smile nicely at everyone (even this woman) - and go home at the end of the day and forget about it.

Your job pays for life - don't let it rule you. Meet unpleasantness with complete sweetness and light - and concentrate on your hubby and everything else that really matters in your world.

Because honestly, this woman and her sour words doesn't really matter in the great scheme of things, does she?

*Hope this is of help, it is meant genuinely to try to keep you out of worry and upset at work*.

I can't thank you enough for this, honestly. I read this post this morning before going to work and it's really helped me through the day. Sometimes you need someone to put things in to perspective for you. I really appreciate it, and you are quite right. I need to concentrate on what is important,rather than this dont I? In fact I love your post so much I am going to print it out and put a copy in my handbag. Thanks again xx

pickledonionspaceraider

Thanks everyone, I really honestly appreciate all of your help with this. I think I have totally let this minor matter take up too much of my 'head space' lately.

Over the course of the last couple of days, I have tried to let things wash over me a lot more, and have been mainly succesful. Only one thing she has said over the last two days has actually wound me up, but I didn't show it. I was eating a bag of crisps and a sandwich at lunch and she said to me ''if you keep on eating like THAT you will never be slim like me..'' followed by her trademark sarcastic snigger (I'm a size 14, and am happy as larry this size) and I could not help myself but say something back to her ''It is a good job I don't want to be like you then, isn't it?''

Overall though I have managed to walk out of work both days feeling a lot calmer

cloudy-day

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Thanks everyone, I really honestly appreciate all of your help with this. I think I have totally let this minor matter take up too much of my 'head space' lately.

Over the course of the last couple of days, I have tried to let things wash over me a lot more, and have been mainly succesful. Only one thing she has said over the last two days has actually wound me up, but I didn't show it. I was eating a bag of crisps and a sandwich at lunch and she said to me ''if you keep on eating like THAT you will never be slim like me..'' followed by her trademark sarcastic snigger (I'm a size 14, and am happy as larry this size) and I could not help myself but say something back to her ''It is a good job I don't want to be like you then, isn't it?''

Overall though I have managed to walk out of work both days feeling a lot calmer

Thats the ticket! Offices can be hell, if and only if, you let the moaners, the work shy, the dull etc etc get to you. Its just work its really not important.

We currently have a new Manager. Shes loud, boring and as thick as mince. She manages to annoy all of us, but I've discovered that she just doesn't get sarcasam. So when shes come out with her latest state-the-bleeding obvious sentence, I just say 'thanks for that, really helpful'. Then do exactly what I was going to anyway. She has no clue, my team mates know that I was ripping the P, and I get a quiet life!

Office life is like a playground - find your mates and ignore the ones you don't like.

Bonus points if you have fun doing it!