Who is going to pay.

New.Beginnings

BigAunty wrote: »

Right, so you could have lived for free with your parents, or perhaps made do with much cheaper temporary lodgings, such as a room in a shared property, but you decided to deliberately starve yourself of funds so that you are unable to pay your own mortgage...? You could have simply withdrawn from paying the mortgage while banking the money living with your parents but somehow thought it was better if your disposable income was squandered....? Are you locked into a 6 month fixed term contract?



Then you could consider taping calls with him where he reacts to you explictly saying 'I am going to move back into the property and throw your daughter out or I am not going to pay a penny of the mortgage and she'll be evicted by the lender, or my solicitor will get a repossession notice, either way, she's not staying there on my dime'.

Or you speak to the Police or a solictor and get expert advice, and maybe this way, he realises that his behaviour will be under scrutiny. Perhaps consider installing alarms, CCTV, greater security at the property when you move back in if you feel vulnerable.

Do you think he's going to be any less harder on you because you say 'Look, I got the cheapest rental flat I could afford but I'm so sorry, this leaves me destitute, and this is why I can't pay the mortgage..'?

Of course, another strategy is to not accept that the Daddy is the mouthpiece over the accommodation dispute and simply refuse to speak to him "this is none of your business" or direct him to your solicitor. He's already bluffed that you must continue to pay the mortgage and can't enter, so perhaps a mention of a solicitor will make him understand that you know your rights and are going to fight for them.

Many landlords don't communicate directly with their tenants (I know this isn't a landlord/tenant dispute) but just to illustrate that in order to avoid disputes, door step arguments, accusations of harassment, police getting involved, etc, they do everything in writing to the tenant, often via a solicitor, there is no direct contact whatsoever with the tenant or their family. Communication is done neutrally, through an intermediary.

My parents do not have a spare room, so living with them for a long period of time is not really a good idea, but in the short term I may do.
I can't live in a house share, I have to take sensitive work home, and the nature of my job does not allow me to do this with un- vetted people residing at the address. I know it sounds odd, but I can't say any more.

It is easy to say the things you suggest about her father, but he is very well known in the area as someone not to be messed with. I know it sounds very lame, but people do tend to steer clear of him if they can.

Sadly I didn't meet him until our relationship was very involved, she never mentioned meeting the parents, now I know why.
Don't get me wrong, if you have him on your side, you couldn't wish for a nicer more loyal man, but you don't want him as a enemy.

It is not as easy as it sounds. Getting his daughter vetted through my employer was a very long job and clearly points to a "family" problem. She had to jump through many hoops to be accepted.

I don't want to ask my employer for help, but thinking about it maybe they can throw some weight behind it. I just don't know. I am deliberately trying to make things hard for myself, it really is. I was left with barely anything a few clothes she threw in a case and a toothbrush.

kingoranks

From your last posting. You either continue to pay or forfeit your house.its your choice, if the relationship is dead I suggest you go to the bank and sort it our

ognum

OP I am sympathetic to you as I read through this thread but absolutely everything that has been suggested you have come up with a reason to say no.

Move back in - no
Speak to father -no difficult person
Live in house share - no work with sensitive information
Speak to solicitor - no, no money
Etc etc

At some point if you want go resolve this you are going to have to compromise, it will not go all you way. So find some money, speak with a lawyer, get proper legal advice not the advice of odd bods on the Internet and work to the best interest of your child.

Better_Days

Do you have any legal cover with your household insurance that would provide at least initial advice on your situation?

BigAunty

New.Beginnings wrote: »

...

I don't want to ask my employer for help, but thinking about it maybe they can throw some weight behind it...

Add this to your long list of 'no' to proposed solutions. I don't know any employer that would want to involve themselves in the relationship problems of their employee.

You could check if your house/mortgage/life insurance provides a free legal helplineas suggested previously.

Since you have shut down a wide variety of solutions, and taking on a private tenancy means that you cannot cover the mortgage, you seem to have chosen the path of repossession and being assaulted by your father in law, good luck with that...

rpc

New.Beginnings wrote: »

I can't live in a house share, I have to take sensitive work home, and the nature of my job does not allow me to do this with un- vetted people residing at the address. I know it sounds odd, but I can't say any more.

In which case you work at the office a bit more and be carfeul because if you get a criminal conviction out of this you could lose your SC or DV and therefore your job.

Blackpool_Saver

If I had my time over I would be fierce. My advice is mount your horse and ride into town, park your horse in YOUR driveway and get in there

caeler

rpc wrote: »

In which case you work at the office a bit more and be carfeul because if you get a criminal conviction out of this you could lose your SC or DV and therefore your job.

Getting into financial difficulties will also effect SC and DV so your going to need to find a solution.

Thrugelmir

New.Beginnings wrote: »

She has gone to a solicitor, paid for by her father, who has told her that I MUST continue to pay the mortgage so that she can live there.
.

Did you receive a letter from the solicitors ?

New.Beginnings

Thrugelmir wrote: »

Did you receive a letter from the solicitors ?

No, because I believe she went for advice only. I wouldn't have got a letter as she doesn't know my current address. Unless it was sent to the house, which would have found me anyway as I have had mail redirected.