Who is going to pay.

marathonic

Select Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland from below if you are in one of those regions.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_relationship_when_you_re_living_together.htm


It looks like the court can grant her ownership of the house until the child is 18 if it decides that "it is in the best interests of your children."

I'm not too sure how a court would decide this - when is ownership of a house not in someones interests?

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

Actually OP, having thought about it, unless you can answer the following questions we may not be able to offer relevant advice, so ignore my previous comments for now.

New.Beginnings wrote: »

I have split up with my partner, it was a messy situation and she basically forced me to leave the house or she would get an injunction. She is there now with our 18mth old son. Who I only see at a contact centre.

Were there any issues of domestic violence, drug use, or other activities that could have caused harm to the child?

Why only at a contact centre?

Are there currently any legal proceedings, court orders or injunctions in place?

The house is mine, totally in my name we had lived there for only 2 years before the break.

Did she contribute financially to the mortgage payments or upkeep of the house?

I feel very peeved that she is living in my house, but accept that she needs a place for her and the baby. I suggested that she moved out and got a flat, which she would be helped with with Housing Benefit, I even offered to pay the deposit, she has refused, changed the locks and now I can't even go in.

It has now come to the point that I have dreaded, owing to having to pay £800 pm rent for a flat, I can no longer pay the mortgage, all my savings have now gone.

How long ago did you move out?

I have made the decision to no longer pay the mortgage, which will mean that the house will be repossessed, she will no longer be able to stay there then of course.

Bad move, if it can be avoided.

She has gone to a solicitor, paid for by her father, who has told her that I MUST continue to pay the mortgage so that she can live there.
I have been told differently, it's my house, not hers, so why should I pay. I have done my best to help her but she clearly wants her cake and eat it.

You don't have to pay for a place for her unless directed to do so as part of a court settlement or otherwise agreed legally. Has such a settlement happened?

marathonic

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

Were there any issues of domestic violence, drug use, or other activities that could have caused harm to the child?

Ah right, so that's what they mean when they refer to "in the best interests of the child".

I was thinking along the lines of a judge saying "well it's a nicer house the ex-partner owns when compared to what the mother could afford to rent so I'll grant them ownership until the child is 18".... which seemed a bit ridiculous to me.

By the way, my perspective in this is from the point of view of a single homeowner looking to protect my interests in any future eventualities.

It's only through research in this area that I realise that "common law marriage" is a myth.

New.Beginnings

My rental property is actually the cheapest habitable place I could find, I live in Central London, where most flats are over £1k pm.

I considered moving in with my parents, but I would be paying for a house that I will not be able to live in for 16 years or more, I can't accept that. She could move on, even have a new relationship.
Another thing I thought of was allowing the situation to get to eviction stage and her being re housed, then paying everything up and getting it all reversed. That way I could get it back and have no part in her removal.
I would have to move in with my parents, and save the mortgage money to pay it when its all sorted. To be honest, her father terrifies me, he is a very hard man, he makes veiled threats that can't be proven, so I need to stay as innocent of these plans as possible. I do feel that he would attempt to have me roughed up. I can't prove anything though, thoughts are not enough to report though are they.

Blackpool_Saver

Move back in, many people have to live like this until houses are sold and the proceeds divided.

marathonic

New.Beginnings wrote: »

I considered moving in with my parents, but I would be paying for a house that I will not be able to live in for 16 years or more, I can't accept that.

As far as I read the replies, this would only happen if there have been "any issues of domestic violence, drug use, or other activities that could have caused harm to the child" in the past.

If this isn't the case, you should be fine and, if it is the case, I don't think too many people will have much sympathy.

Regardless of the situation, the replies telling you to get professional advice hold true and you have enough information now to 'ask the right questions' when you go for that advice.

New.Beginnings

She never contributed any money to the house.

The contact centre was initiated by me as she refused access, plus her family are difficult to deal with. I have spoken to Social Services. Not sure they can help with the housing situation though.

I moved out in Early November.

There is no domestic violence or drug taking. I found her with another man, a massive row took place in front of our son, which I regret, I walked out and went for a walk, when I came back she had packed my bags and locked the door. From that point I was not allowed back in.
She changed the locks, and Daddy has been the mouth piece.
If it went to court, can they make me pay, even if I can't afford it. I can't afford legal bills on top, that's why I thought of this way out.

Ms_Chocaholic

I think people here were wondering whether Social Services were involved which resulted in your contact with your child having to be supervised at the contact centre; I assume from your post above that this is not the case and that you initiated the contact at the Contact Centre.

I presume there is no Social Services involvement or Police involvement in relation to the incident you refer to. On that basis therefore I assume there are no grounds to get an injunction.

Do you get to see your ex-partner at the contact centre at all or do you have any form of ongoing communcation with her.

marathonic

New.Beginnings wrote: »

She never contributed any money to the house.

The contact centre was initiated by me as she refused access, plus her family are difficult to deal with. I have spoken to Social Services. Not sure they can help with the housing situation though.

I moved out in Early November.

There is no domestic violence or drug taking. I found her with another man, a massive row took place in front of our son, which I regret, I walked out and went for a walk, when I came back she had packed my bags and locked the door. From that point I was not allowed back in.
She changed the locks, and Daddy has been the mouth piece.
If it went to court, can they make me pay, even if I can't afford it. I can't afford legal bills on top, that's why I thought of this way out.

If this happened me, I'd be tempted to take a week off work, wait until she left the house, break a random key in the house door and call in the lock-smith to change the locks again.

It's probably legal for you to change them anyway considering the house is in your name but the law can be strange so my inclination would be to do the above and plead stupid if it came back to bite me "my key was rusty/bent and I thought it wasn't working. I'd no idea the locks were new".

This would work out cheaper than seeing a solicitor for advice on changing the locks. I'd almost go so far as to have a monitored alarm fitted if there isn't one already. That way, you could have police involved if they tried to change them once again.

clarabelle41

I really think you need a solicitor involved. You say you can't afford one but neither can you afford the cost of 2 homes. I wonder if the longer she stays there will strengthen her position long term. Sounds like she has her dad calling the shots so you do need someone representing yours - and quick. I'm sure you can get 30 mins free advice & you could ask for an estimate of costs going forward. Cld you get a loan or borrow frm parents? Did you both move in together or she moved in with you?