Who is going to pay.

New.Beginnings

I have split up with my partner, it was a messy situation and she basically forced me to leave the house or she would get an injunction. She is there now with our 18mth old son. Who I only see at a contact centre.
The house is mine, totally in my name we had lived there for only 2 years before the break.

I feel very peeved that she is living in my house, but accept that she needs a place for her and the baby. I suggested that she moved out and got a flat, which she would be helped with with Housing Benefit, I even offered to pay the deposit, she has refused, changed the locks and now I can't even go in.

It has now come to the point that I have dreaded, owing to having to pay £800 pm rent for a flat, I can no longer pay the mortgage, all my savings have now gone. I have made the decision to no longer pay the mortgage, which will mean that the house will be repossessed, she will no longer be able to stay there then of course.

She has gone to a solicitor, paid for by her father, who has told her that I MUST continue to pay the mortgage so that she can live there.
I have been told differently, it's my house, not hers, so why should I pay. I have done my best to help her but she clearly wants her cake and eat it.
How can it be right that she gets to stay there and I am left with nothing. I am happy to give maintenance to her for the baby, and support him, but not if she stays in the house, it can't be done financially.
Any advice would be appreciated.

BitterAndTwisted

She gets to stay there because you let her. She didn't get an injuction so you had every right to live in the property you own. Move back in and start paying the mortgage.

Having the property repossessed will trash your credit and leave you in the mire for years to come. Avoid this possibility if you can.

marathonic

Well I know that, if no children were involved, she could lay a partial claim to your house if she could prove that she paid towards the mortgage. If she only paid her share of bills and groceries, then she wouldn't have any stake.

Your son may, and probably will, change the situation. However, I'd imagine that, if she didn't pay towards the mortgage, you'd only have to ensure that they had somewhere to live by providing financial support (someone will need to confirm this though as I'm not sure).

Is there much equity in the house (not sure if this make any difference - although it may make it easier to persuade her to move out if it's in, or close to, negative equity).

Ms_Chocaholic

Does she go out, maybe to her parents for Sunday lunch or to visit someone every Monday afternoon for example as this will be easier to do when she is out. You can then go to the property, change the locks and move back in.

Mojisola

Make contact with one of the fathers' support groups - they will have seen this all before and will be able to give good advice.

Posting again on the Child Support or Relationships Board will also bring replies from experienced people - link back to this thread so replies don't get duplicated.

marathonic

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Does she go out, maybe to her parents for Sunday lunch or to visit someone every Monday afternoon for example as this will be easier to do when she is out. You can then go to the property, change the locks and move back in.

This would be exactly what I'd do IF NO KIDS WERE INVOLVED. Could you really look out the window at your ex-partner with their 18-month old son with nowhere to go?

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

marathonic wrote: »

This would be exactly what I'd do IF NO KIDS WERE INVOLVED. Could you really look out the window at your ex-partner with their 18-month old son with nowhere to go?

If she was being manipulative and scheming, as she obviously is, then of course.

The child is of course welcome to stay...... If the mother chooses homelessness over a rental or perhaps moving in with her father, more fool her.

Ms_Chocaholic

This would be really difficult, I accept that, but I guess my view was that she could stay there too until she could find alternative accommodation, although given that she wanted to take out an injunction against the OP previously, why would she want to stay in the same property. That choice is then hers to make.

BigAunty

See the Shelter website's section on relationship breakdowns. AFAIK, you have the right to occupy a property that you own unless she's got some sort of occupancy order from a court, the type that some lone parents with children obtain which lets them live in the property until their youngest child turns 18.

How this works when you have some kind of social services intervention that forbades contact outside of their terms, I don't know - do you have a social worker or is one assigned to your ex? Are you banned from coming anywhere near her or the kid with an injunction or similar?

See the Shelter website's section on mortgage arrears and repossession, their advice to struggling homeowners. Repossesion can lead to a lot of charges and extra debt as the property gets sold off cheaply at an auction and they will chase you for any shortfall, plus you won't get to see much in the way of equity if there is anything there to start with.

Go and get legal advice to find out how to evict her.

You don't have a choice as to whether you pay child maintenance or not, you don't get to dictate the terms, it's not voluntary. She has the right to take you to the CSA if you don't reach a mutual agreement and you can expect to lose 15% of your net income this way - your expenses are irrelevant to the obligation to pay, so taking on an unaffordable new rental property doesn't let you off the hook. You need to man up on that front rather than squeal about it.

Ms_Chocaholic

OP - how long ago did this happen.
Have you taken out a tenancy on a new property for you.
Does your ex-partner have anywhere she could stay if she wasn't living with you, ie do her parents live nearby.

botchjob

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

, change the locks and move back in.

Yes, your 18 month old son deserves to be out on the streets.

Your responsibility is to him so you may have to suck it up. If there is no or little equity then there's no point in arguing about something that belongs to the bank, not you.

The best advice at this point is to talk to a solicitor or CAB, not ask randoms on the net.

Good luck.