oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.

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  • MiMi66
    MiMi66 Posts: 198 Forumite
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    Back to work today - about to leave the house - it feels like an age, and I am going to try and protect myself as much as I can. I think I've got a mixture of financial stress (oh yes? Really?) and depression and burnout - I've been reading alot about it the last week or so.

    So, I need to find a new way forward on many fronts.

    Antidepressants on board - tick
    Sleep better - tick
    Sanity - shaky
    Overwhelmed and Panicky - tick
    Plan to pace self and try and use mindfulness techniques for at least for 5 mins morning and afternoon (even if I have to make a prat of myself in front of everyone).

    Isn't life complicated!

    I made an appointment at the Bank for lunchtime today to sort out that account - I did go yesterday but there was no one free to help a the time.


    Thank you sistafromanothermista! Nice to know someone is reading and has been through it all too :-)
    MiMi66 2023 and moving forward ☺️
    £38154 - DEBT FREE May 2021
  • Jox
    Jox Posts: 1,651 Forumite
    Photogenic First Post First Anniversary
    Being in control is bound to help a bit with the feelings MiMi66....I'm no expert but the 6 best things we can all do for ourselves are: get enough rest, eat healthily, drink water, exercise, get some sunshine (not much chance here!), spend time with good uplifting friends :)

    Look after yourself, if you are due any time off take it, don't wait til you're sick.....

    Happy Friday :)
  • Hi Hun, thought I would chip in if you dont mind. I'm in a similar amount of debt as you and, like you kinda think why?
    Keep chipping away, it soon adds up.
    Selling the kids old clothes is a great idea. Especially decent labels. Try Facebook local selling pages first as it's free and people will give you cash or if not Ebay. Plan for a car boot sale in the summer, kids toys always sell well and its amazing what you will find going through the house.
  • MiMi66
    MiMi66 Posts: 198 Forumite
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    Hi Jox,

    Yes well - sadly it took me getting sick to have light bulb moment .... But I am using this point to review so many things - finances - how I balance or don't balance elements pof my life - I am a shocker for overdoing it. But new leaf stuff now - I am at home!! I finished work on time rather than stay late...determined to get that balance right.

    And I survived the day job today..... minimal avoidance as well :-)

    Money wise - I went to the bank at lunch time and reviewed my Current Account - so I currently pay 12.99 for it poer month and it was going up to 15 per month next month. I looked over the benefits of other paid for accounts and opted for the level down which offers things that I need and curently would have to pay for - Mobile phone insurance, European holiday cover (maybe dreaming a bit there hey), Experien membership (I would be paying £8 for this currently monthly - I'd signed up for the free month last week to review my horror credit) and Love film which I pay £4.99 a month for now. So a new account covering those things is £10 a month - saving me 2.99 from current amount, and also 4.99 for Lovefilm, £8 for Experien (mind you I would have cancelled this), and gives the mobile phone cover and also some holiday cover should I be lucky enough to wraggle something VERY cheap (likely a tent I think - probably about 20 miles away but hey I am not fussy). SO I think overall I will save about £7.98 a month and that is without the Experien membership.

    With the phone and broadband deal that I sorted yesterday that becomes £18.59 which is well on the way to £210/220 over the year - school uniform and shoes is my thinking.

    Must cancel membership for Lovefilm and Experien - that's tomorrows jobs. One thing a day and I will figure it.

    I have realised that the whole MSE thing is not just about repaying debt but about viewing money in a different way. I need to see it as a limited resource rather than the never never on the card 'I can have anything I fancy' - not that I have been mad about buying obscenely indulgent things - but I realise now that thinking about the cost of the small things, the day to day, will help me overall. Might just get that camping trip with a bottleof wine, by a river in a valley in the sun. Cheese and biscuits anyone?

    Hey and Aria's Tail, I must do the children's clothes sort out - not a huge fan of car-booting, but I might try it - or ebay. I wonder how complicated it is to sell on ebay? Yes I see you are in the same boat as me - welcome aboard!! Aren't we awwful!! At least we are here though :-) I hope your repayment plans are going well. I am longing for my pay day to make some payments to mine.

    Have a good evening :-)
    MiMi66 2023 and moving forward ☺️
    £38154 - DEBT FREE May 2021
  • Willing2Learn
    Willing2Learn Posts: 6,294 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Photogenic
    edited 8 February 2013 at 7:44PM
    Hi MiMi

    Good to see you are getting things sorted ('m keeping my beady little eyes on this thread)
    MiMi66 wrote: »
    I think I've got a mixture of financial stress (oh yes? Really?) and depression and burnout - I've been reading alot about it the last week or so.

    So, I need to find a new way forward on many fronts.

    Antidepressants on board - tick
    Sleep better - tick
    Sanity - shaky
    Overwhelmed and Panicky - tick
    Plan to pace self and try and use mindfulness techniques for at least for 5 mins morning and afternoon (even if I have to make a prat of myself in front of everyone).

    Hey, I hope you don't mind me looking at the above a bit closer. If you do, please let me know and I shall refrain.

    I don't know if you have read about any work done by Carl Rodgers and Abraham Maslow. They are considered the grand-daddys of Humanism (Humanistic Psychology). A shortened and simplistic explanation of this psychological perspective is that to realise ones potential 'becoming everything one is capable of becoming', any psychological/emotional difficulties must be studied from ones own subjective experiences in order to find solutions.

    According to Maslow, there are certain things one might need to realise ones potential. One of these is Love and belongingness - Receiving and giving love, affection, trust and acceptance. Affiliating, being part of a group (family, friends, work).

    I wanted to highlight this as it appears from your posts that you and your children have this in abundance. Having money for presents and treats is so unimportant and trivial in comparison and won't have any effect on what you all share. So there you have it. You already having something within your 'toolbox for change' that is so powerful and special and is something money can never buy! And it helps you to become everything you can be become then that's even better!

    Oh yeah. Got sidetracked. Never intended to say any of the above. I meant to say google 'thought diary'. It's a valuable tool used by CBT practitioners to help people keep thoughts & emotions focused, balanced and positive. You may or may not consider it useful. Let me know if you need any further info on this.

    Hope you don't consider any of this inappropriate - trying to be helpful. :);)
    I work within the voluntary sector, supporting vulnerable people to rebuild their lives.

    I love my job

    :smiley:
  • Hi, you are making some goods steps already. Chip chip chip. I just wanted to say, look at ebaying, start with just a couple of things. Labels seem to go well, make sure you take good photos and be honest in the description. I was very sceptical but in November I put a few things on to try it and was amazed. I then added other bits as I sorted through drawers and cupboards. I received 300 quid into my pay pal in about 6 weeks and I honestly don't miss anything that was sold. I was so excited to put that money into a savings account for my emergency fund. Its the first bit of saving I've had for ages. And I'm desperate not to use it! Give it a try, but I would say start off with just a couple of things to get the hand of it, charge the right postage and put the right information in.
  • Willing2learn that was beautiful
  • Jox
    Jox Posts: 1,651 Forumite
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    Hi Mimi66, I know what you mean about working flat out and worrying until ill and then your body forces you to stop everything and this gives you a chance to review and make changes, I’ve done the same thing a few times over the past 10 years.

    I would get so stressed I would have nosebleeds that lasted days and had to be hospitalised 3 times.....I put my health first now and have learned to say no, though it can be difficult as my nature is to be so nice and obliging!

    I’ve joined Noddle which is a free credit report website, maybe try it instead of Experian?

    I don’t pay for my bank account...£180 a year sounds like too much? If you had a free account maybe put £15 in a separate account each month incase of lost mobiles or travel insurance needs etc?

    Yes, please cancel lovefilm....I had lovefilm and netflix, I’ve cancelled both, I get films out the library sometimes or just make do with what’s on TV or 4od, iplayer etc, I love programmes like Borgen and Revenge and have discovered Up All Night which makes me laugh!

    Sounds like things are a lot clearer for you and well done on getting home early for a change.

    Happy Friday and have a lovely weekend :)
  • Barbeduk
    Barbeduk Posts: 869 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post Debt-free and Proud!
    This isn't supposed to sound critical but you could put another £120 a year towards your debt if you choose a fee free bank account. Do you really need the 'extras' that the paid for account provides? Could you live without them for a while?

    Saying that I do have the s@nt@nder 123 account which is £2 a month but I receive £8 odd a month in cashback so am £6 up.

    It really is a whole mindset change, every £1 you spend is £1 you'll never have again. I can't believe how much my attitude to money has changed since going MSE, I just wish it had happened sooner! And yes, I was another who built up debt with nothing to show for it.
    Make £2020 in 2020 £178.81/£2020
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  • MiMi66
    MiMi66 Posts: 198 Forumite
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    Hi Wiiling2Learn -

    That is fine - I appreciate any thoughts and prompts, so please not to worry - not overstepped a mark or anythng like that. I actually work in health - yes and it is true that we are probably amongst the worst for looking after ourselves :-) like all healthcare practitioners I think - easier to tell other people how to do it!

    Your pointers are good ones to - I shall have a think on it - and yes I do value the good things in my life - maybe that gets shakey at times when I wobble (plummet) with depression but on the whole I do see the good. I have the children, good friends, sadly no partner in crime (solo for nearly a decade!) I love books and cooking and walking and have a good belly laugh most days :-)

    So yes my tool box for change - I have a good range - I am just really good at mislaying it at times of intense stress! I've put post notes on my fridge to remind me of the positives now!

    Jox and Barbeduck - I'll have a think about it. The mobile phone insurance is what draws me to pay the monthly fee for the bank account - it covers two phones (my daughters and mione) and sad to say I am in love with my iphone - I am truly:-) I am also very good at dropping phones - excellent in fact - a life skill to be in awe of! In the past I have paid (and used) insurance for one phone at £15 per month - so the £10 for two seems a reasonable deal to me. But I will think on the choice and see what feels right, so thank you.

    I've cancelled Equifax (it wasn't Experien - my mistake) and am about to do Lovefilm. Jox, you are dead right - I love the iplayers and 4oD - and Bergen and Revenge too - though also keen on The Good WIfe, and Silent Witness at the moment. Haven't caught Up All Night - will look.

    On a down side of money, I've had a letter from my pension (yep - still got that going) and they are increasing the contributions (thank you Mr Cameron) - no additional benefits but just an increase - no choice in it. Blasted recession. It's part of a three year ramp up of Pension contributions - this is year two.

    Jox that sounds like an awful amount of stress to be under to cause nosebleeds - I gather things are different for you now and that must feel a wonderful relief. Yes I am going to try and use this period to really change the things in my life that seem to sabotague my resilience - the money issue, work life balance, learning how to really relax, and make sure I do a bit of that every day.

    So off to Lovefilm now, and then to crochet (yes crochet - I am revisiting a childhood skill to make a homely comfy blanket to cuddle on the couch.....what a weird woman I am!)

    Have a peaceful weekend!
    MiMi66 2023 and moving forward ☺️
    £38154 - DEBT FREE May 2021
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