oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.

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  • MiMi66
    MiMi66 Posts: 198 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Oh I am so overwhelmed here but the kindness you are all showing me and the support for my challenge. I will do this....

    I will pay the 9£ to Nationwide Tixy.... small beginnings.....
    I am reducing my broadband and phone costs tomorrow - getting quotes today.
    I will go into my bank and change my current account for a lower fee or free of fees account.

    SOooooo glad that Child benefit is £20 per week not per month! Had a little cold sweat there!

    I will look at the SOA and decide if I am brave enough to publish it here. The advice would be helpful.

    Isn't it amazing how absolutely anyone can get themselves in such a mess - I have a responsible job and have raised the children solo and have managed to dive into a huge amount of debt, against my own advice at times. I wonder if something is wrong with me and I just have been too deluded to see it. Thanks you everyone who has given me that support and reassurance that I am not alone with this sort of thing - nice to know I can come here to share it too and keepp my focus.
    MiMi66 2023 and moving forward ☺️
    £38154 - DEBT FREE May 2021
  • DebtFree2012
    DebtFree2012 Posts: 3,573 Forumite
    Hiya - well done to you and you sound in a good frame of mind to achieve this.

    I have 2 young children and often want to find things to do for free and also things outside as I find they go bonkers inside.

    I have a similar amount to pay off as you do so I will hang around on your diary and see how you're getting on.

    :)
    Debt - CCV £3792
    CCB £1383 (took a hit for a holiday)

    Loan 1 £1787
    Loan 2 £1683
    Total £8601 Was £39302
  • DebtFree2012
    DebtFree2012 Posts: 3,573 Forumite
    PS definitely do the SOA, it's hard but ppl will help you see things you didn't see before.

    There's nothing wrong with you - you have got into debt exactly the same way i have and it's just the way we are. Staying on here will help keep you focussed and concentrating on not spending out of budget as there will be times you want to. It's only human :D
    Debt - CCV £3792
    CCB £1383 (took a hit for a holiday)

    Loan 1 £1787
    Loan 2 £1683
    Total £8601 Was £39302
  • MiMi66
    MiMi66 Posts: 198 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    So - I've just paid that £9 on Nationwide - yip yip. So small but a start. Thank you Tixy for the suggestion!

    And yes Debtfree2012 - feel free to watch my journey - have tea - its goingto be a long one. isn't it funnyhow numbers just add up to so much money. There really is something in that play money feel that credit cards have isn't there - it just doesn't feel real until you face up to it.

    I hope you and your children are doing OK - I think it is hard facing these these things solo, and sadly I think there are a lot of single mums in the same boat - I think one of my longer terms mistakes has been trying to keep up with what my children's friends do with double income families. I just can't do it.

    And depression - what a beast - I saw on the site that there is a booklet about debt and depression - I will download that and see if any of it helps. I was having very grim thoughts, lost weight, apetite gone and sleep so broken and fraught, about the pressure and about potential loss of home and what that might mean and not being able to cope - but I have dragged myself by the scruff of the neck to deal with this - and I think a plan and taking action will help my mood a lot. The helpless and powerless feeling is overwhelming at times, but today I am better - uphill climb commenced.

    If I do have any spare cash I ought to invest in shares for antidepressants - I am a walking advert! Joke!:rotfl:
    MiMi66 2023 and moving forward ☺️
    £38154 - DEBT FREE May 2021
  • Jox
    Jox Posts: 1,651 Forumite
    Photogenic First Post First Anniversary
    Good luck on your debt free journey mimi66, it all starts with a single step and it looks like you've made several strides towards peace of mind :)

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with you....or there is something wrong with all of us individuals who apply for credit and are given it freely only to see it build up into something overwhelming.... countries are in masses of debt too and going bankrupt....we are all in this together right??

    The good thing about the economic crisis for me is appreciating my job (thank u employer!) and paying off my debts, it took me a few years of cautious spending but I've done it now and can actually save money, this will be you in a few years, be clear about what you owe and your plan to repay it and watch the numbers fall month by month.

    I'm glad you sought help for the depression and are tackling the root cause, my depression is quite "mild" and I find St John's Wort has helped me but if it ever became more serious I would get anti'd's from the doc.

    Keep posting, I enjoy reading others' journeys to freedom :)
  • Nickyj
    Nickyj Posts: 231 Forumite
    Well done for posting, you have made the first step :) I racked up £25k on debt and didn't have an awful lot to show for it so you're not alone there. I became debt free in Dec after six years of paying everything off. My addiction used to be shopping but thanks to this site my addiction is now saving money, making money through surveys, eBay etc on the side. Good luck and I will keep following your journey xx
    Sealed pot member #1950 - £44.79
    Debt free since Dec 2012 :)
  • Hi! Well done on the first, and the most scary, step:)
    Last may I was in a similar position to you regarding the debt situation. Now it is starting to come down I can see the light at the end of a very dark tunnel:)
    I second posting an soa it definitely helped me realise what I could cut back on. Xx
    DEBT FREE AND PROUD:D
    'Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt'
  • Hi MiMi welcome to this wonderful site and take comfort in the fact that you definitely are not alone, there are so many others on this forum going on the same journey.

    I had 20k of debt and absolutely nothing to show for it. But it can be paid off, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to keep motivated (and that's where this site is brilliant).

    Definitely agree with what others have said about eBay - if you've got lots of old junk around the house it's a great little money earner and doesn't take up too much time. Also car boot sales - you can get your kiddies involved as well! (Great that you are getting them involved in your journey, and a wonderful thing to teach them to be financially responsible!)

    oh and definitely post your statement of affairs - people are great on here about suggestions for little cuts in your finances to make to help.

    Good luck and I hope you don't mind that I subscribe to your thread and comment from time to time :)
    Official DFW Nerd 1390 MFW 0/1800

    Competitions won so far: A years free pizza/Eden project trip & hotel stay/Baby gift set/Baby voucher/Baby bottle/Books/Pedometer/Soup and Mug/Dotcom gift bundle
  • MiMi66
    MiMi66 Posts: 198 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Jox wrote: »
    Good luck on your debt free journey mimi66, it all starts with a single step and it looks like you've made several strides towards peace of mind :)

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with you....or there is something wrong with all of us individuals who apply for credit and are given it freely only to see it build up into something overwhelming.... countries are in masses of debt too and going bankrupt....we are all in this together right??

    The good thing about the economic crisis for me is appreciating my job (thank u employer!) and paying off my debts, it took me a few years of cautious spending but I've done it now and can actually save money, this will be you in a few years, be clear about what you owe and your plan to repay it and watch the numbers fall month by month.

    I'm glad you sought help for the depression and are tackling the root cause, my depression is quite "mild" and I find St John's Wort has helped me but if it ever became more serious I would get anti'd's from the doc.

    Keep posting, I enjoy reading others' journeys to freedom :)


    Thanks Jox, your post is reassuring and so not judgemental - I have given myself such a hard time - really damning, but ultimately it wasn't fixing anything doing that, and in fact my low mood was putting far more things at risk. I have tried St John's Wart but it doesn't have quite enough welly for my mood - I count my blessings that antidepressants do work for me, and I am sure that in a few weeks time I shall be feeling better and looking out at starting to live a more colourful, if somewhat cheaper, life.

    This forum has made me feel so much better today - I ams tunned by how many people have read the thread already, and I hope that my sad story does make others feel not so alone, and also kick start them to. I know I've benefited from reading peoples stories, and while I think my debt is huge, and it will be a slow journey, I know that there are other people in the same position - and as you say - countries in the same position -maybe they should use the website hey!
    MiMi66 2023 and moving forward ☺️
    £38154 - DEBT FREE May 2021
  • foxgloves
    foxgloves Posts: 11,089 Forumite
    First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary
    You'll soon find as you get going with paying things off, that you'll become quite obsessive about it, patting yourself on the back everytime you save a little bit here & there. When we were snowballing our debts, I used to look at it as every single £ saved was an extra £ being chucked at whatever card or loan we were working on paying off at the time. You'll find you can cut spending on the boring everyday things pretty easily. For instance, it would never have occurred to me prior to the big LBM to set foot in the 99p shop! Now I use it for all sorts of things.....toiletries, toothbrushes, seeds, gardening stuff, freezer containers, it's amazing what you can save by shopping around. It becomes a bit like a game....in fact it helps to look at it like that, as debt-busting isn't something that usually happens overnight......then there's staying debt-free afterwards, by continuing to use all the useful budgeting & financial skills learned. We became debt-free in May 2011, & I budget properly every month to stop us falling back into old ways. I like to think of it as me against 'the System', refusing to be seduced into buying more crapola I don't need. It does get quite addictive. You sound really determined, so am wishing you luck. Go for it! I often say this, but there's simply no bag of tat I could come home with now that would make me feel as good as finally being in control of my money does x
    "For each of our actions there are only consequences" (James Lovelock)"For in the true nature of things......every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold & silver" (Martin Luther King Jnr)
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