oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.

katiepoppycat

Hello Mimi! Good to see you back. Whatever is the brexit effect on friendship?

Magpie100

I'm assuming the 'Brexit effect' is having to re-evaluate ones friendships based on people's views/how they voted. I know the feeling...

ANYWAY, MiMi, sounds like you are doing well. Good to see the totals come down and yes, do celebrate that you haven't added to the debt either. And it sounds like you are all sorted for Christmas, too (or nearly) - which is more than I am...:(

Did you hear about your work? It's good to have the option of selling the house available and also to be open-minded about it. You are showing a good degree of flexibility about the thought of selling your house, and that will stand you in good stead. So often people rule it out completely and won't even contemplate it. I know that emotionally it is a difficult thing to think about, but sometimes the boldest moves are the bravest.

What are your current thoughts about the trip? It's such a tough decision, I can see that. Really pleased about your food budget and the Christmas wins, too. I have a love-hate relationship with Christmas - I find it such an expensive strain and a lot of it is spent living up to other people's expectations of what we must do. I can't complain having just spent a week in the Caribbean (bit of a shock coming back to the snow!) but I do feel overwhelmed with what I still need to do and the money I still need to spend.

Re Australia - I assume you will have checked this out - can you pitch up and start nursing there without a specific type of working visa? I am sure you will have thought of this! It's a great idea though if you can swing it. I am wondering if you should make a decision about the trip and Australia - i.e. pick one and commit to it. That would make it real, and achievable, whereas at the moment they are both half-formed ideas and both seemingly financially out of reach. If you picked one you could start budgeting and saving for it...

Don't worry about not selling things while you were feeling low. Those things are still there to sell, and it was much better to get yourself feeling a bit better and not go out armed with the CC rather than make yourself miserable with listing and posting things. Sometimes all our energy is needed just to get through a day and say 'NO' to buying things or turning down invites (or even 'no thank you', if we're being polite) and you don't need the added stress of ebay etc. Do it when the time is right. It isn't going anywhere, you have money coming in and this is a long-term debt, not a hair-on-fire-grab-every-penny-you-can-immediately situation.

Keep updating! You are doing well. Keep going. :beer:

MiMi66

katiepoppycat wrote: »

Hello Mimi! Good to see you back. Whatever is the brexit effect on friendship?

The Brexit effect on friendship is sadly the loss of (some) friends.... I am not UK born but have worked and contributed here most of my adult life. Unfortunately some of the views expressed by a couple of what were two very close friends who I had shared so much with over 20 years, meant it was impossible to sustain a friendship knowing what they thought about migrants and Europe. Some things can’t be unheard or swept away. I don’t think ill of them but equally I can’t compromise myself to that extent. Sad but clean and honest. I certainly can’t get the only person to have disconnected from friends or family over this issue in the last two years.

🙁

MiMi66

Hi Magpie and Katiepoppycat ! I didn’t get any notification you both had posted and hadn’t checked the site for a couple of weeks or so, apologies logins for not replying.

So so so. Debt and Christmas. Good news! Outgoings have not exceeded income and as long as I budget budget budget for food this Jan is all be ok. Whew whew whew. (Why so many repeat by three things I wonder? Rhymes with ‘Ho ho ho?)) anyway. Deep sighs of relief all round. I have taken my spending for Christmas right up to the wire and I will need my a bit of my emergency fund in Jan and my fee free overdraft but it will all be balanced by pay day in late Jan. This means no balance transfer required to manage Christmas spend. I am very glad. Even though I went over budget on food and a few gifts it has all been covered. And I see where I can make savings for next year too.

And my payments go down to 50 left! I think I miscalculated before.

The trip - arghhh. Am in the middle of list making. I rang the flight company before Christmas and they have said I can’t yae the flight to go to Australia. And if I rebook it it must be before June 30th. So that is no good. It’s either cancel and lose £225 or go. The trip can be put off for 12 months or cancelled and lose £200. Hmmmmm. I change my mind about 5 times a day. With the overtime I have done (a lot, hence not in here very much as I have been working +++) one that all come in by the end of Feb I will have enough for the volunteering trip. And by the end of March I’d have about £600 saved. Decisions.

My job! While it’s not in writing yet I have had feedback confirmation that I am being made substantive! I shall push for a letter and contract once back to work after the Christmas break. So please and relieved! It’s been busy and urncertain at work but I am so glad they have confidence in me.

So debt down to £34 764(ish) which is about £ 3360 paid off since starting this journey. Yip yip. Nearly 10%.

Will update signatures now as I’ve been paid early and all the direct debits will work their magic soon 😊.

Also the antidepressants have kicked in. Just go es me that ability to see the light as well as the dark I guess. A long journey. And thanks Magpie for acknowledging my flexibility about the house. Not to say it doesn’t scare me but I do see that it might be the best solution ultimately. But not the decision to be made yet. Self directed DMP doing ok..... be so nice to ha e it down under £30k then see it in £2k chunks. All numbers but heavens what life restricting and headache inducing numbers!

So other than being a tad obsessed with finances, I’ve had a good Christmas and I hoe everyone else has as well! X🎄🐾

MiMi66

Oh Magpie, I forgot to answer your question. I can work in Australia as I am an Australian citizen - as are my children (another avenue to explore for us as a family if the economy goes awfully bad here ) so I only have to get my Aus registration sorted to work there. That is a bit of an expense but might be worth it.

katiepoppycat

Hey Mimi! Glad you are feeling positive. I've overspent on Christmas food this year but I can balance it out. Thanks for explaing the brexit thing - how awful for you. I'm fortunate to have friends of all flavours on the subject, and whilst we might not agree we can respect them. So pleased about work too - well done! What a great way to start the new year, along with having taken 10% off your total. Do you have a drop dead decision date for the trip? Maybe you should give yourself some time off thinking about it?

Magpie100

Happy Christmas, MiMi! And well done on being on top of everything over Christmas. and even MORE well done on the job news. Brilliant. I get what you mean when you say the numbers still feel life-restricting, but please - look what you've paid off in the last few months. Nearly 10% is amazing and I hope gives you confidence for the future. I know it's hard, but I hope you are finding it a little easier now you've managed to turn the ship round.

Re food in Jan - any chance of doing a freezer challenge? I did it last year and enjoyed it immensely. I don't know how big a freezer you have, but we have a big chest one, often very full. Over Christmas I have time to go through it and write a list of what is in there and pin it up in the kitchen. Then we plan all our meals round what we have in the freezer and only buy what we need to make a full meal. Last year we lasted six weeks doing this. It really focuses the mind. It is hard psychologically if you have a hoarding mindset, but it's good to be able to defrost the freezer at some point...

The trip trip trip (it's catching) - well, I think we can only leave this one to you to decide. But all the overtime you've done is a good indication of your mindset. You really are making changes to dig your way out - if you can find a way to make it happen then you will. Thanks for clarifying re your citizenship status - I'm jealous that you have such alternatives available!

Yes, put the house decision to one side for now. If you can keep going on the DMP for the next 6 months then you can take stock then. As discussed previously on the thread you need to be in complete control of your finances before you go down that road - it needs careful thinking about.

I had a lovely Christmas, but feel overwhelmed by all my new possessions. It sounds ungrateful, doesn't it - I will enjoy them, and they are wonderful, but still! They were chosen for me with love, but my overwhelming urge for the next few days is to declutter, tidy, sort, recycle, give away and send things to the charity shop. I am off work until the 2nd so I do have time to do it, so I shall enjoy the process and try not to fret about it all. 'Every increased possession loads us with new weariness', said John Ruskin, and I don't want to feel like that, but part of me does. I have enjoyed spending time with family and friends though, so am very fortunate.

Onwards to 2018, MiMi! I'm so glad the antidepressants are helping and that you have stayed in control over Christmas. It really is the key. You are doing brilliantly. xx

Magpie100

Hi MiMi,

How are you...what news? January is nearly over, thank goodness - I can't wait for spring. Hope all is going well with you and update us when you can. Mags100X

HairyHandofDartmoor

Hope things are okay for you Mimi?

MiMi66

Hi Magpie and Hairy Hands

So sorry to have not posted, I have been in an hole and felt very low most of January and so far this month but have turned a corner. What a stressful thing life is and it seems to get to much for me routinely. However, this time has certainly had something to do with being a woman of a certain age - how powerful blasted hormones are!!

So money and debt. Arhhh. I am plodding in the right direction. Bit of a blow this month as all the hours of overtime I did in December never got paid so I am battling with payroll to pay it before the next monthly pay date as I need it for the trip (I am going, hormones almost made me cancel it and I would have got absolutely nothing back, so I am glad to have not done that) - I got very cold feet, anxious and panicky about going alone but have pushed through that and now think it will be very good for me. I think my health is such that if I do not do these things now I might not be in great shape later on which would prevent it.
Debt is getting me down. I do congratulate myself on sticking to my plan, but gosh it is hard. I have almost certainly decided to sell my house and rent in the summer, move closer to work as the travel I do is really wearing me down. And I would pay the debt off. Rent 6-12 months and then buy something small. I will be pleased if I can get my debt below £30000 before I sell as I will feel I have achieved addressing my spending habits, at least to a point where I will have repaid around 25% of my debt. Psychologically that means something I think.

Cost of living is a pain in the proverbial. Every which way we turn. But I am cutting back often and even now I can see more places I can trim. It is just such a drain at times and I long to not be thinking of credit card balances.

I will get back to posting more regularly now I am feeling a bit better. I spent January in a state of catastrophe! Ridiculous really, measured steady steps and I think I have proven I can do the self DMP so far.

Things to be grateful for:
Job that gives me enough income to by and large make ends meet.
The love of friends and my children who have got me through this recent tough time.
HRT!! :-)

Hope everyone faring ok and getting through these blasted dreary months of the year x