oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.

Magpie100

MiMi MiMi MiMi,

I for one think it is ESSENTIAL to have a sense of humour about the whole situation! I mean, you need to take it seriously, but you know that. But if one can’t laugh at your son’s earnest conviction that what you really need at this time for your weekly household shopping is an Audi retailer, then what’s the point? You’ll have to convert yourselves to run on diesel, but I’m sure it can be done.

And although I very much don’t want you to have another operation either I do feel that if you have to then going under the knife in a sheen of rose gold and surrounded by pottery would at least give the theatre staff something to talk about. It sounds quite charming.

ANYWAY. Let me focus on all your progress. I have to say I am impressed. There is still improvement to be made, but look, you’ve already identified some of your grocery ‘triggers’. That doesn’t mean you’ll solve them overnight, but you know what to start with and where you need to change your mindset. You’ve done some research and have realised that if you want to continue to buy organic food etc then you will have to reduce, reuse and not waste in other areas. If you have been readying yourself for the Zombie apocalypse then it sounds like a trip to the old style boards might be in order. Have you ever done an audit of your fridge/freezer/cupboards to see what you really have, and what you really need? Last January I audited my chest freezer because we wanted to defrost it, so we ate out of it until it was clear. How long did it take, I hear you ask? Well, it took SIX WEEKS. Six weeks. A long time. And during those six weeks the Zombies did not arrive (probably stuck in traffic and gave up), but we saved £££ by only buying milk, bread, fruit, etc.

Oh – one more thing on groceries: don’t just ‘consider’ own brands. TRY THEM. I know, I’m so mean, picking you up on a throwaway word like that. I’m not saying you should switch everything in one go, but perhaps try out two a week? Pretend you are doing your own taste test for Which, or something. Get your son to taste them with you so you can give each other feedback. Until you try, you won’t know. Do it. Foxgloves and Katiepoppy have given you some good ideas in their posts, so go through them and jot down their ideas. They won’t mind, I’m sure. ☺

I am going to park your volunteering plans for now – I hate being the party-pooper on such things, because part of me agrees with you that we need to make the most of our health, opportunities and good fortune as often and as much as we can. Let’s shake hands on your plan as outlined in the post above and leave it there.

Re London – tell me about it – I’m there every day. Though do have an office with a subsidised canteen and microwaves for us to bring our own food in. I was going to suggest you tell us which restaurants you went to so then I could suggest cheaper similar alternatives for next time, but perhaps life really is too short to make you type out such a thing.

Fantastic that you are getting your head down and getting on with the overtime. It really will help you out, and although I am sure you would rather not do it at least you have the option. It’s being able to pick up extra ££ like that that will be crucial for you. You spoke about ‘hanging on by a thread’, and it is the overtime that is going to mean you keep clinging on to it. To be frank, if you want to carry on with your convictions re grocery shopping, eco-products and organic food then you’ll have to find the extra money form somewhere. I’m not criticising you here – moral decisions like this are really hard to make. But part of the reason you are in this situation is due to these decisions. It’s easy to think well, I HAVE to have such-and-such because it’s better for me/the planet, etc, but you need to be honest with yourself about what you can afford. I'm not saying you do this, but it's easy to feel like you are making a 'superior' decision on things like organic food, and not face up to what it does to your household budget. If you made changes here they don't have to be permanent.

So, payday tomorrow and one month down. You sound under control! No doubt things will be sent to try you, but I hope you have some confidence in your budget and your budgeting skills now. Do please update your totals so we can see what’s what.

In Magpie news I am continue to be extremely focused on not spending small amounts of cash but danger of course lurks EVERYWHERE. Yesterday I met a friend for coffee in the morning and a different one for wine in the evening, and paid for both. WHY? I mean, they are both excellent friends and will pay next time, but GOOD GRIEF I need my bird brain examining sometimes. £14.40 for two large glasses of white wine. Thank you, London, thank you.

Best wishes from your critical friend and her beedy Magpie eye! :wave:

117pauline

Hi MiMi

Sorry I have been absent without leave. Had a horrible week not wanting to go out but a bit brighter now thankfully.

I too am using so much less product than recommended. I only use half a dishwashing tablet, half washing liquid etc.

Food-wise I am not good at all. Next month I am going to record every single purchase of biscuits, crisps, chocolate etc. I can tell myself how good I am listing all my shopping totals but that's just it, total.

You are sounding much more in control which is excellent. I am hopeful you are in an up phase coming up to Christmas.

I love the idea of shopping at Audi. Personally I prefer lidl. I have managed 17 NSDs this month. Then there is less temptation to buy goodies. It can be hard though because I only live 5minutes walk away.

Surveys? I am a prolific academic fan as you need to be quick to pick them up but after that you don't get thrown out. They pay ok too.

So I guess you are just coming home after your overtime. I hope you have a nice meal to come home to.

How are you feeling physically. From the sounds of it, the surgeons certainly pulled you about a bit. And I hate to say, as we get older it takes longer to fully recover.

Have a good weekend
Pauline

HairyHandofDartmoor

I understand your dilemma re health and future opportunities. It has to be your decision of course, as you understand best what is important to you

Personally I felt that my debts were making me ill with stress, and even though we are soon to be debt free I know that I will start to worry about my low income and lack of a pension after that

MiMi66

Hi All!

£14.40 for 2 glasses of wine mad me laugh Magpie - I paid £16.90 for two pints of cider and two portions of chips when up in London - nearly fell over at the bar.....

And Foxgloves - I have been giving a great deal of thought to your suggestions re household cleaning products - I had (please note the 'had' past tense) been lured into the romance of being very very eco as in paying and showing my eco credentials through paying for high end eco cleaning products. I have been researching (as you do) and while I love my Greenscents products (they are good I have to say) I can not afford them for the time being. I shall have to leave glamourous green credentials to others for the moment - but happily Co-op seem to have a range of cleaning things that are cheap and have the leaping bunny on them.... So that is where I shall go first. I've got a little stash of micro fibre clothes (now we are told they are bad for the environment :-(fibres coming off in the wash.) And I have a few old soft Bamboo clothes (they are lovely to wash dishes with) - so I can keep green in that way. So it is all about compromise isn't it. As Magpie said - a few products a week. I have switched to Co-op bread at 89p a loaf, cheaper spread, and own brand crisps for my son.

I shall try to make wiser choices in the supermarket - happily this week I have not bought much at all - I think about £35 including a salad one lunch time as I just didn't have time to make something before getting off to work. I put £40 fuel in the car - on CC, but that is planned for - there is no way I can get through this month on cash, but the cc spends will be paid easily by next months salary.

Oxford with my son on Sunday overnight - will keep the meals cheap and cheerful. Then London on Monday overnight - work event, and staying on to see the National Geographic Wildlife Photography exhibition - fairly cheap tickets and it is something my daughter and I do each year. Cheap food too - Wasabi here we come (I like Wasabi and so thrilled it is a cheap option).

I did have my hair cut today - cc - but planned. I am presenting at a SW event next week and just thought I looked a fright. Only the second hair cut this year so I am frugal on those. Fortunately my hair doesn't seem to split or suffer - It must be those 1000's of hair products I have stock piled in my bathroom and bedroom!! Bit like your parents Katie Poppy Cat! I do like a stash of stuff.....bad habit. I sold a a couple of games last week for £11 - and banked that cash today.

So all in all I am hopeful of getting through the month with a bit of ducking and diving to make the money work and be in a better place in December. It is a bit like a puzzle isn't it.

Overtime wise - it is still coming in - I have two shifts lined up this month and have been asked to do a night shift in December which will help offset costs and go into savings. I know I cannot rely on the overtime, nor keep going energy wise to do it, but it has given me breathing space.

Payments nearly all made this month - they go out over the first 8 days - so I am now down to 53 payments to go!!! Can't wait to say 49 :-) Small wins. Will update my signature in a minute.

I found myself having a couple of waves of panic this week - just that sinking sick feeling, which I quickly dissipated but reminding myself of options - Lodger. And also canning the volunteering - Not yet, but it is an option. Ask me this time next month, or after the 27th December....

Options is power over fear aren't they. fear is disabling, and causes all the mental stress and distress, but looking at options gives a sense of possibility and choice. Important lesson I think.

I've been rubbish on the decluttering - must get back on with that.

Done a few surveys - and looked at other sites. Will keep on with those.

I've got £20 on Nectar card and £25 on Coop card in points for Christmas food extras :-)

Oh Magpie - London every day and those costs and temptations!! The restaurants we went to were Ping Pong on Southbank, a Japaneses place in China town Ichibot or something like that, and we also ate at the pub in Paddington Station (good chips but expensive as per my opening of this post!)

Healthwise - hmmmm- appointments coming in now - MRI scan on the 13th, Consultant on the 16th that is for my knee which has started to hurt again - so hoping the tumours are not back. Cross that bridge when I get to it. Consultant appointment in London for pelvic stuff on the 20th - that is still painful when I walk, but am hoping it settles - the op was only in mid August so that is early days. Blasted mesh! To be avoided at all costs!! I have send off my legal pack to my solicitors, and pursue a legal case. Even if it just covers the costs of time off and surgeries impact - lost income etc. One woman in the US got $57 million in compensation after her pelvic op went wrong (she had to have three revision surgeries of some sort - I have had one, plus chance of further one next year to correct the original problem) - there must have been more to it than mine I think to get that amount of payout, but it does illustrate that there is a case to be made about these implants and the damage they can do. So well see - not counting on it but it would be nice to have the acknowledgement of poor practice and the consequences to me.

But right now feeling OK emotionally .... And breathe.....
Happy 1st November all!

HairyHandofDartmoor

Good luck with the scan mimi. I hope you are ok healthwise, fingers crossed.

I agree with you about anxiety, a plan helps panic to subside. Whenever I felt panicky about money I always said to myself, "You have a plan and if you stick to it then things will be okay". This always helped me to feel calmer

I think your compromise with regard to eco products is very sensible. I also think it's wise of you to put the volunteering on hold for a short time.

You are doing a great job

MiMi66

Not pulling the plug on volunteering yet Hairy Hands - and gosh knows - if I have leg tumours back, I shall be going to the volunteering - as the idea of not doing something while my health is good enough just saddens me such a lot - In 5 years time, worse case scenario - I might be debt free but be in a awful place with my leg ... you can see my dilemma I hope. But - I will not throw all caution to the wind.... common sense is in there somewhere. The overtime I am doing is all with that in mind - but if health good and finances not manageable - then I will delay the trip. Bad health means = go while I can... surgery permitting but lets not entertain that yet - hopefully I am being a neurotic moooooo.:p

HairyHandofDartmoor

It is a dilemma mimi but hopefully you can find a good balance

katiepoppycat

You know I've been an MSe lurker for years but I really enjoy reading and posting on your thread Mimi! Hoory for being another month down and another month closer!

Magpie100

Hi MiMi!

I read your lovely update earlier in the week but I have been so busy I can hardly breathe. But finally, it's the weekend, and here I am. To jump right in with the serious stuff (so sorry, but I feel like we're beyond small talk now;)) - sorry to hear about the waves of panic. But. But. About 6 weeks ago you were spending whole DAYS feeling panicy and tearful. Not to belittle how overwhelming those feelings can still be, but to put it in perspective you seem to be having fewer moments of panic and far more moments of I AM DOING THIS, WATCH ME GO. Magpie is pleased.

Re your London dining - Ping Pong is great - that, Wagamama, Wahaca, etc are all good value for money. It feels like a treat but without being ridiculously expensive. I'd just say always try and cut out the 'extras' - it is far more common now to be offered and to accept tap water than it was even five years ago, and I always say no to bread, olives or whatever additional bits they try and ply you with. Be alert, though - in Byron burger recently I had a good row with the manager as we ordered our food and then the server offered us some garlic mayonnaise to go with the fries. At this point he had taken the menus from us and neglected to say it would be ONE-POUND FIFTY extra, so when they put it on the bill I asked them to take it off. I wouldn't have ordered it if I had known they would try and charge for it and the sneaky way they did it irritated me. Nothing gets past my bird eyes.

I'd try and avoid any pub or dining establishment near a station (ha - I need to heed my own advice here, as a station was where the £14.40 wine debacle occurred) but I know sometimes time pressure means it is the only option. Better to go to M&S and find a bench to perch on than go to a station pub...

Well done on the eco compromise. Good idea to look for the leaping bunny and then go for the cheapest option you can find with it on. I am trying hard to be as green as possible, too, and am concentrating on using up what I have and trying not to buy things with tons of packaging. And glad to hear the brand swaps are under way - what are you targeting next?

I completely understand your desire to do the volunteering trip. But I think it's important to recognise that you have to make a series of choices. You can't volunteer and overspend on things like green products for now. Well, you can, but you'd end up in a right financial pickle. You sound like the kind of person who wants to make good moral choices on all fronts (which is admirable) but perhaps you remember that every compromise you make brings your volunteering goal a step closer.

Great that you are celebrating the month number reducing - that is absolutely the right thing to do and you should be proud. As you say, getting under 50 months will be your first big milestone.

My money annoyance this week has been £16.99 on coolant for the car. I keep getting a warning that it is low but I am not convinced and think it might be a sensor issue. I have decided to start with the obviously, though and go from there. So the car is getting coolant and antifreeze top ups this afternoon. It had better be grateful, I just think £16.99 is a lot for something I might use once a year. Hmm.

This money saving IS a bit like a puzzle, and once you have got a bit of momentum going finding the pieces of the puzzle becomes easier, I think. It's amazing what you DON'T need to buy if you try and find alternatives. Ducking and diving is fine - and a big improvement on blind spending.

So, December looms (not to wish my life away). LEt us know what financial challenges are on the horizon, apart from the big obvious one!

Have a good week and KEEP GOING.

MAgs100

PS - really glad you have sent off for the legal pack. You should absolutely claim if you feel there is a case to be made. You have nothing to lose.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Very good advice from Magpie Mimi. Hope things are going well