Trying for a Baby Part 9

time2deal

BabyMad wrote: »

Apologies for the negative, self indulgent post but i'm really getting fed up with this ttc business and needed to tell someone who will understand.
x

I totally love your negative self indulgent post. You know we all feel it from time to time and it's good to know you are not alone!

Rant away. That's what we are here for.

lollypopswater

Agree with time2deal it's how we all feel so keep sharing xx

Part_Mouse

T2d how did your appt go?

Moan away girls we all get our down days.

bigmomma051204

Feeling really down today Apologies if I am annoyingly dull and pathetic! Am 5DPO and feeling really bloated, slightly nauseous, crampy (a bit like AF) have backache (nothing new there tho lol!) and knackered. But despite BDing at the right times (i hope) i really have got into this cycle of just knowing there is a problem and its not going to happen. Which just makes me SO unhappy i cant describe. And i feel ridiculous that in the back of my mind i keep thinking "maybe.....". Because then i just have to tell myself off and to stop being stupid!

I work in a children's centre, where one big part of my role is running ante-natal classes, and helping with the midwife clinics - so lots of ladies every day coming in with newborn babies. And i really really dont want to be around them It was always hard but this month i am truly feeling its just never going to happen... and not in a needy way, just in a "give up" way. I know others have been trying longer and i am sorry cos i know i sound like a right miserable ungrateful cow but i just cant help it!

I am 31 (so no spring chicken) I am overweight - I have only one ovary - I have cysts on that ovary. Basically I have a useless body and I feel i have waasted any "good" years i might have had to get pregnant again and now I just feel utterly desolate.

And nobody (apart from OH of course lol!) know we are trying. So i cant talk to anyone about anything. Which i suppose is better in a way - no having to put up with sad faces and people giving sympathy etc lol... but its hard and makes me feel so alone.

Right - sorry for the rant.

time2deal

Part_Mouse wrote: »

T2d how did your appt go?

Moan away girls we all get our down days.

not bad. I think I wrote about it in the other thread... although the day has been a bit of a busy blur.

Doc was nice, and he reacted like normal when you show up at fertility clinics as a cancer survivor. He agreed to go straight to IVF/ICSI, although I could sort of see him thinking about suggesting IUI or clomid first. That's probably the normal approach, but I think he realised IVF was where we were going to end up, so no point messing about. Plus I think I'm a bit of a challenge for doctors!

But it wasn't an IVF appointment. He was in gynae, so referred me to the IVF clinic, although he said to specifically ask that he be noted as the consultant, rather than someone junior. Then I went up there with the paperwork, and they said 'it takes 4 weeks for funding to be approved, good luck!'. So I'm waiting for a letter.

But much better than that - my other IVF clinic, and my oncologist managed to speak to each other! And they have a plan to solve my current problem and get me to IVF quick via them. So hopefully I'll be up the duff before the NHS even gets around to more appointments! a girl can dream...

eta: Oh - they haven't told me the plan! I missed the call, and now I just know they have a plan, and I will be informed of it next Wednesday. I have to manage my hopefulness about that meeting.

But a good day, after my meltdown on Monday. Feeling much better.

(Sorry for those who don't know the full history - it's long!)

time2deal

Oh - and one more thing. Can I get a WOOP WOOP for BMI of 28.9!

Granted it's back well over 29 now that I have eaten properly for the first time in 2 days, but glad I got there. Now to keep it up to get down to 25.

lollypopswater

Wooop wooop well done T2D xxx

Part_Mouse

T2d sounds like your appt was very helpful even more so the 2 have finally talked.glad to hear your sounding much more positive.

cwtw

Lara44 wrote: »

Making progress is like rolling a brussel sprout uphill wih my hands tied behind my back using only my nose.

Brilliantly put. It is hard work isn't it?!?

Hugs to everyone needing them. Have lots of spare Kleenex if you need that too.

Mrs_T_M

Winner of September BFP predictions: ttc39! :T

October Graduates:

October BFP predictions
Mrs_T_M: 4
ThinkPink: 5
bigmomma051204: 6
Disney_Pluto: 6
tia86: 7
kellykins: 9
ttc39: 10

Thread Graduates:
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Hopelass BFP 10/02/13
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