Help with parents!

tootiemac

Please forgive me if this is in the wrong placeand i apologies for the length, I require some advice.

My partner and I are planning on moving in together this year. At this point we both live with our parents.

I am looking to find out if the below situation will have any effect on our plans.

A bit of background my partners parents owned their home up until 7 years ago, his mums work closed down and since she is going blind she has been unable to find work since. His dad suffered an injury at work and has since been unable to work.

After this injury they fell behind on the mortgage, i am lead to believe they also had to declare bankrupcy and sold their house to the council who rented in back to them.

On friday the housing association they rent from served all 4 people in the house (mum, dad, partner and his brother) with what I believe is a notice of intent to evict due to rent arrears.

I need to know what effect this will have on partner specifically when we go to explore mortages.

One of the biggest issues we have hit several times before is that my partner and his dad share the same name with differing intials.

Any advice welcomed please

paddedjohn

Is your partners name on the tenancy agreement?

poppysarah

Well the fact he'll be homeless might not help.

Whilst it sounds harsh:
I would assume bailing them out isn't an option else he would have done it by now.
But from what I know of benefits system working children's income is taken into account for things like HB and is this why they've fallen behind? (I'm prepared to be wrong here though)

If someone should be contributing towards household rent and doesn't and that family loses their home because of it, then what sort of person does it make them?
If neither parents work and both children do - then what have they been doing to let the arrears build up.

Unless of course the HA charged them massively more rent than they'd have to pay anywhere else?

tootiemac

Thanks for your help so far.

1. His parents got a payout due to his dads accident and this has impacted upon their rent as the have to pay double the normal monthly rate due to a miscalculation of the initial repayment of benefits (something to do with having to pay back the disability benefits he received while he was off work but before the payout).

2. Only my partner works in the house. His brother gets EMA but gives nothing and expects everything.

3. He used to have 2 jobs 1 @ 14 hours pw and 1 @ 20 hrs pw. He now only works 14hr pw due to his contract being up for the other job.

4. My partner is not in the position to bail them out but I have today given them a short stay by paying the initial payment to ward of the bailiffs.

5. His mother is pretty stubborn and from what i read in the letter on Friday it looks like she has let something lie and waited for others to do it for her.

6. It looks like one of the things she did nothing about was chasing up her HB after the recent changes to the benefit types.

My Partner now gives what he can, but the ask for too much leaving him no petrol to fill the tank of his car or even buy a simple magazine some weeks. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to bail them out today. He said yes but i am of the opinion that this isnt the first time and as people who have suffered this before they should have known better than to get back into this predicament.

Rich__101

Sounds like a very difficult situation.

For what its worth I'd say the following:

1. I wouldn't consider buying a house with someone I had never lived with before. Go and rent with your partner for a year and just see how it all works, this also has the benefit of separating his financial affairs and records entirely from that of his family. Buying a house is a massive commitment that goes well beyond even getting married so far as I'm concerned.

2. I really don't think you should get involved with lending or giving money to his family, if he wants to do it, that's his business and I can understand why he might. But its not your place to damage your own finances when it would appear they are responsible for their own predicament.

Good luck!

tootiemac

Thanks Rich_101

My partner and I have been together 6 years, we already pretty much live together at one house or the other.

I have no reservations moving in with him though i understand where your coming from. I am just hoping to determine how to insure it doesn't impact upon his or our chances.

I loan the money to him and I always get it back from him. His parent told him not to tell me about any of this but he thought it was best to share as he is of the same thinking as me it could impact me as much as him in terms of our plans for the next few years.

Mojisola

tootiemac wrote: »

his mums work closed down and since she is going blind she has been unable to find work since.

tootiemac wrote: »

5. His mother is pretty stubborn and from what i read in the letter on Friday it looks like she has let something lie and waited for others to do it for her.

If she's going blind, shouldn't someone be helping her with official letters and paperwork?

tootiemac

Her husband checks all the mail before she gets to read it so that he can help her with all paperwork.

She also has a government person she liaises with around benefits and other things of that nature.

Although she is going blind her vision is not at the stage yet that she is unable to do things such as use a computer or read a letter. Though she does use a magnifying glass / tool to do certain things and general they are no further that 2 inches from her face.

poppysarah

tootiemac wrote: »

My Partner now gives what he can, but the ask for too much leaving him no petrol to fill the tank of his car or even buy a simple magazine some weeks. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to bail them out today. He said yes but i am of the opinion that this isnt the first time and as people who have suffered this before they should have known better than to get back into this predicament.

This is the important bit.

And if he only works a few hours a week then he won't get much of a mortgage.

Mojisola

tootiemac wrote: »

5. His mother is pretty stubborn and from what i read in the letter on Friday it looks like she has let something lie and waited for others to do it for her.

6. It looks like one of the things she did nothing about was chasing up her HB after the recent changes to the benefit types.

tootiemac wrote: »

Her husband checks all the mail before she gets to read it so that he can help her with all paperwork.

Looks like her husband is going to have to take a more active role in their finances.

It's very difficult to help people who have been in debt before and still haven't changed their ways.

tootiemac

Thanks poppysarah

The mortgage will most likely go into my name as i know he doesn't enough I would hope to get a joint mortgage but do understand that his low earnings might pull it down a bit.

When I say they ask to much i mean like the time his Step-dad asked for £400 (when he had 2 jobs) to buy a limited edition lego model.

Or the £250 they asked for a week before xmas (after the 2nd job finished) to buy "presents". Of which they spent barely £50 on him and almost £130 on his brother.


I do like them both but I worry that if I don't get him out of there soon it will be too late. Our moving out while he earned so little was a forced hand type of thing as he and his Step-dad don't quite see eye to eye on money things.

He hasn't had the spare cash to fill his tank since the beginning of December and yet his SD still expects his to drive him places that would take 5 minutes to walk to.