Hypothetical - their dead relative, not seen for 5 years, how sympathetic are you?

Hermia

Person_one wrote: »

There's a film about a woman who was dead in a North London flat for years, surrounded by Christmas presents she was wrapping. Its a very sad and mysterious story and I think the film is on the telly soon.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/oct/09/joyce-vincent-death-mystery-documentary

That is an amazing film.

The OP's post is a hard one to comment on. I have relatives I never see because they are so distant, but would definitely be a bit sad (although probably not crying) if that happened. The person could be crying for the relationship they will now never have with that person. They could also be crying from guilt. It would be hard to judge someone in that situation as it is so odd.

Hermia

I do know of a man who was found dead in his flat and they reckoned he had been dead some time. The thing is he wasn't some isolated lonely person. He had a very full life and lots of friends and that is why no one was worried. Everyone assumed he was off enjoying himself as he had gone travelling without telling people a couple of times before.

LunaLady

There is an article in the paper today about a man who had been dead for about 2 years before anyone found him.

ognum

I would be sympathetic, there is a lot of guilt tied up with death.

It is not our place to be judgemental as to why someone has not seen a relative for 5years, disagreements occur in families and when a relative dies there is always an 'if only'.

Listen first before making your mind up!

scooby088

Depends if it was a fairly close relative, but I would guess it must not be a close relationship if they hadn't seen the decease for 5 years and I would think it would be hypocritical to get upset.

Comyface

I think they're feeling (hypothetically) guilty.

Carl31

There's a few things involved here. There's the fact family has died. There's the fact they feel guilty that they died and they hadn't seen them. There's the fact that the death was in pretty horrendous circumstances, and a very sad way for a human to go, and overall its a person dying

So yes, id be sympathetic

DannyBo

Person_one wrote: »

There's a film about a woman who was dead in a North London flat for years, surrounded by Christmas presents she was wrapping. Its a very sad and mysterious story and I think the film is on the telly soon.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/oct/09/joyce-vincent-death-mystery-documentary

Thanks Person_one :beer: just read the article, watched the trailer on Youtube, searched for the film on Sky and set to record it

It's on Thursday, Channel 4 at 10pm.

sooty&sweep

Have to be honest and say not very sympathetic. Even if you don't have time to visit surely you can find the time to pick up the phone.

londonsurrey

Thank you all for your insights. It's interesting to see and understand a bit of how people in general see these things.

This came about as a result of a conversation with my friend.


After my husband died very suddenly in his late 30s, my in-laws promised me lots of help, but the reality was very different. What they actually wanted was the drama, to be updated, and to be able to say that they helped.

The fact that this was the worst time in my life to get a bunch of false promises and to be repeatedly let down was neither here nor there to them.


It was lots of promises, lots of excitement from one SIL in particular (she excitedly declared that she'd "never been to an inquest before!", and the last time I saw one of them was a BIL being shocked at the state that things for in, promising to help with one job in particular, giving me a hug, and saying he'd "be in touch". He obviously went back and told them about things, and I got emails from both SILs, saying "they'd be in touch". That was a few years ago.

So my friend and I were talking about this man in the news who was found 2 years after his death, and she said the ex in-laws would probably be really upset.

I'm not an OAP, but aspects of my life seem to be fast forwarded, so I acidly commented that my ex in-laws would be merely hypocritical if they tried to pull the upset routine if it had been my body that was found in those circumstances (I could have been dead all these years, but they wouldn't have noticed). My friend said that actually, they'd probably be distraught and expect sympathy from people for being distraught, and society in general would sympathise.

I was a bit narked, and quite frankly, if I had an annoyed spirit hanging about, that spirit would merely tell them to s*d off, stop being so hypocritical, and to take their drama and wasted energy elsewhere, as if it really mattered, they'd have expanded the energy when it actually mattered. Am I really being too harsh? (I have no real faith in an afterlife, btw. It was, like the initial scenario posted, just a hypothetical spirit)