Breaking wind in public. Do you or don't you?

bestpud

I think farting in public is bad manners and I struggle to hide my disgust when others do.

Take yourself off to a quiet area or a toilet - it's not difficult.

We went for a meal followed by the theatre with friends recently and I knew the theatre would be painful if I didn't let rip, so I went for a brisk walk around the grounds before we went in. Took less than 5 minutes - job done and nobody offended.

At home - well that's different!

bangersnmash

Aha, another splendid fartulous fartulicious fartulocity thread! Fantastic, fartastic, thanks OP, thanks Happy Butterfly, Flappy Trumper Fly and all you groovy trumping parping peeps, a corker of a thread, very funny. A feast of farties, my favourite, how did you know. Can I get fries to go with that, please, ta. Yee ha.

I squeezed out a little ‘un on the way walking back from the shops the other month – and followed through with a rather spectacular jet of wetties. OMG. Totally unexpected. Not wearing any pants either so large masses squirted down both trouser legs as well. Kinell. Then as I carried on walking along I could feel yet more of the awful mass of splodge and squidge plastered all over my bot being shaken loose with every step and travelling down my legs. Gawd, it gets worse. Just hope it doesn’t drip out through my ankles onto the pavement and leave a slug trail on the street following me all the way home. What a disaster, flipping heck.

Someone in the Arms, the last board on the list, said a while back that their farties are often so explosive that they wake them up at night. Oh dear.

Re the dog someone else mentioned that their dog barks frantically and jumps about looking for the enemy attacking it when it does some big farties. Poor little thickie mutt, doesn’t even understand its own bot. Ignorance is not bliss.

Blimey, what a terrible stink, who’s blown off.

Oh, not me, it must be the dog.

What do you mean it must be the dog. We haven’t got a dog. Busted!

consultant31

It amazes me how many people seem to think it's funny to break wind in front of others....well actually it appals me so apparently I must be a prude

I wonder if the same people who find it perfectly acceptable would also think it fine to not bathe for a couple of days and go into a public place stinking of sweat? What about leaving poo in the toilet and not bothering to flush? Is that acceptable too? Why on earth would anyone think that others won't mind smelling their waste?

It is down to upbringing I suppose - it would have been unacceptable in our house to break wind anywhere outside the bathroom and so I still go somewhere private when I need to let go and my children were brought up the same way.

juliethemuse

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Eurgh that just reminded me

My ex used to fart in bed then pull the covers over my head

:mad:

I know ! why do men find that funny? but if I do it to him its NOT funny.

FatVonD

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

Does anybody do 'cupcake'? I don't but I've heard of people, usually adolescent boys who do!

What's cupcake???!

thehappybutterfly

Ah, the revoltingness that is the 'cupcake' gag. You fart in your hand then throw the captured fart in someone's face and yell "CUPCAKE!!!".

Not nice. But hilarious to teenage boys. And some not so teenage!

tight_scotsman

If farting was an olympic sport the wife would win gold everytime.She farts constantly in bed then wafts the duvet for maximum effect and thinks she is a genius.

When someone farts in front of my 7 yr old daughter she is prone to vomiting all over the place. Even when she smells her own farts she gags and vomits.

Robisere

I think any ex-Service personnel on this Forum, will relate to these first 2 Tales Of the Unexpected.

In the Army, at least in my day (60's/70's) all soldiers have to "Classify" at least twice a year, by live firing their weapons at targets on the Ranges. Distances involved went from 100 to 500 yards (now probably Metres) and after firing at one distance, we made weapons safe and received a command to "Paste Up Target, Move back To X00", which meant glueing bits of paper on to bullet holes, and moving back to another distance for more aimed shots.

Quite often in the NAAFI bar, or other Service drinking holes, an inebriated squaddie would open his nether cheeks and deliver an enormous, blattering Bottom Burp. Some wit would always comment, "Paste Up, Move Back to 500"! I often wonder if this still happens, now that there are so many female soldiers in barracks. In fact, I often wonder what happens, now that ... No, forget it.

Occasionally, the nights would become really raucous and out of hand, leading to a determined idiot removing his lower dress, holding a lit ciggy lighter to his nether regions, and lighting the methane which exited from the offending orifice. This was called "Blue Flaming" and was a source of entertainment or pain, dependent upon your own viewpoint and participatory activity.

I hasten to add that I did not ever indulge in the above activity myself.

I also do not nowadays participate in the emission of digestive gases from the usual orifice, as after a serious operation in 2009, I now have a colostomy. This can be a source of great confusion to others who are not aware of my plight, as there is no chance of "holding It" but no noise is usually made, so a straight and innocent look is absolutely essential, followed by a frown at some member of the company.

Robisere

It is down to upbringing I suppose - it would have been unacceptable in our house to break wind anywhere outside the bathroom and so I still go somewhere private when I need to let go and my children were brought up the same way.

We are all different, Sunshine, and Lavatorial Humour is unmistakeably British!

I am not sneering at you in reverse snobbery, just saying, we are all of us, very different. That is what makes us human. No necessity to read what upsets you, is there?

Bitsy_Beans

My young kids are asking me what I am giggling at :rotfl::rotfl:

I can't fart on demand but did once let one slip at work :eek: quickly brought out something to hide the smell. My work makes fell about laughing and from now on Chanel Chance perfume is know as Trump Perfume!!!!