Change my name back to maiden name but NOT getting divorced....Help me please!

Ms_Chocaholic

You said you are pregnant. Just wanted to say that when you go into hospital to have your baby that the baby's namecard will say "Baby (maiden name)". If you want it to say "Baby (husband's name)" you will have to change your surname on your health notes to that of your husband. Apparently, the reason for this is that the baby's surname and mother's surname have to match on the ward (for obvious reasons I imagine).

Only reason I know is a friend who was using her previously married name, went on to have a baby with her new partner and was horrified when she realised that her new baby would have the surname of her ex on the ward, you can imagine, she changed her surname swiftly.

caeler

mountainofdebt wrote: »

why not simply change your name by deed poll?

Based on principle women shouldn't have to, they are only trying to use their birth name. I know what your getting at but on principle I refused to.

Gloomendoom

Does anyone in this day and age actually believe that a man owns his wife even if she decides to share his surname?

The practice may have had some significance hundreds of years ago but not now.

Some of you rampant feminists need to get out of the dark ages and into the modern world.





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notanewuser

I also didn't change my name (nor do I wear a wedding/engagement ring). Doesn't make me any less married.

DH doesn't care. DD has his surname, and mine as a second middle name.

I thought it hugely unfair that British men don't even consider changing their names. DH didn't understand initially, but as I've booked hotels and restaurants etc in my name, and he's been mistakenly called Mr Notanewuser he understands how annoying it is when people assume or call you by a name which isn't yours.

Gloomendoom

notanewuser wrote: »

I thought it hugely unfair that British men don't even consider changing their names. DH didn't understand initially, but as I've booked hotels and restaurants etc in my name, and he's been mistakenly called Mr Notanewuser he understands how annoying it is when people assume or call you by a name which isn't yours.

But surely it's an annoyance of your own making. If you had followed convention it wouldn't happen.

notanewuser

Gloomendoom wrote: »

But surely it's an annoyance of your own making. If you had followed convention it wouldn't happen.

But the convention is complete boll0x.

claire16c

notanewuser wrote: »

I also didn't change my name (nor do I wear a wedding/engagement ring). Doesn't make me any less married.

DH doesn't care. DD has his surname, and mine as a second middle name.

I thought it hugely unfair that British men don't even consider changing their names. DH didn't understand initially, but as I've booked hotels and restaurants etc in my name, and he's been mistakenly called Mr Notanewuser he understands how annoying it is when people assume or call you by a name which isn't yours.

My DH did. However he told me this after we had started filling out the paper work to each take each others names by double barell. So weve done that. So we both have the same name but neither of us lost our surname. I think if the man is not happy to change his name then he should be fine with his wife not changing hers.

fluffnutter

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

You said you are pregnant. Just wanted to say that when you go into hospital to have your baby that the baby's namecard will say "Baby (maiden name)". If you want it to say "Baby (husband's name)" you will have to change your surname on your health notes to that of your husband. Apparently, the reason for this is that the baby's surname and mother's surname have to match on the ward (for obvious reasons I imagine).

Only reason I know is a friend who was using her previously married name, went on to have a baby with her new partner and was horrified when she realised that her new baby would have the surname of her ex on the ward, you can imagine, she changed her surname swiftly.

It's only whilst you're in hospital! My baby was Baby Fluffnutter rather than Baby HusbandofFluffnutter despite his name now being my husband's, not mine. Yes, the names do need to match whilst you're on the ward but it's only to identify your baby whilst you're there. It's not their 'name' and as soon as you register the birth you call your baby whatever you like.

I can completely understand why your friend didn't want her baby to have her ex's name though, but if it's a case of the baby having the mother's name rather than the father's name that he or she will eventually have, I don't see that it matters at all.

fluffnutter

notanewuser wrote: »

I also didn't change my name (nor do I wear a wedding/engagement ring). Doesn't make me any less married.

DH doesn't care. DD has his surname, and mine as a second middle name.

I thought it hugely unfair that British men don't even consider changing their names. DH didn't understand initially, but as I've booked hotels and restaurants etc in my name, and he's been mistakenly called Mr Notanewuser he understands how annoying it is when people assume or call you by a name which isn't yours.

For some reason, I always thought you were a fella . Sorry

Ms_Chocaholic

Yes I totally agree with Fluffnutter; it's just whilst you are on the ward, sorry if I didn't explain fully. I only mentioned it because OP said in her first post about a pregnancy.

Just to clarify, my friend changed her name to her maiden name (on her health notes only) just before she had her baby so her baby wasn't known by her ex's name on the ward, funnily enough though, my friend has continued to use her ex's name in every other way since, some 8 years later. The baby was registered with her dad's surname.