Just need a rant!!

halight

pigpen wrote: »

And what GOOD things have happened in the last few years, it can't ALL have been bad!

Your son survived the accident.. sounds like he was very lucky!

You all appear to have had excellent healthcare and best of all, you have each other. A positive mental attitude does contribute to survival rates for cancers. You need to focus on the good in your life and look to the future. Enjoy your life the best you can.

I hope your treatment is successful! xx

Very good point and well said :j:j

Ich_2

And what GOOD things have happened in the last few years, it can't ALL have been bad!

Yes quite right and there have been a number of them, but in reality the long lasting ones are our son's return to health and his pass-time of weightlifting and our family/marriage
All the others have been a good holiday or meal, or daytrip and though the memory (and photos) linger on that is all. The horrible stuff is with us daily for the rest of our lives.

It's all about degree, I try to look to the good stuff but often get diverted by the bad stiff

pigpen

Ich wrote: »

Yes quite right and there have been a number of them, but in reality the long lasting ones are our son's return to health and his pass-time of weightlifting and our family/marriage
All the others have been a good holiday or meal, or daytrip and though the memory (and photos) linger on that is all. The horrible stuff is with us daily for the rest of our lives.

It's all about degree, I try to look to the good stuff but often get diverted by the bad stiff

It actually sounds like you are quite depressed and feeling helpless to prevent or change anything, could you speak to your GP about this? I can't say it would be at all surprising you would be feeling down. Even getting your feelings off your chest to your wife may help, you may find she feels exactly the same.. or she knows you have been unhappy and she feels helpless to help you until you take that first step.

I am glad you have had good times too and often they are overshadowed by the crap things but only if you let them..

Could you plan something to look forward to? It doesn't have to be big, a trip to the seaside or a weekend at the place you honeymooned or just a weekend away or meal out or take the wife dancing?? I am sure there is something that would stir happy memories for you both. More of the same is pretty demoralising at the best of times.

You will come through the other side of this ((hugs))

Ich_2

It actually sounds like you are quite depressed

I have been far worse to be honest. After my op in 2011 I was in a bad way, but subsequent events showed my depression, in the main, was not related to the operation or illness
(I forgot to mention the Type 1 diabetes I've had for 15+ years, something that does not bother me in anyway!!)
Events of last year saw that cause dealt with so I've been in a far better frame of mind this time round.

We do all the things suggested but there are limits, at present the one good on the horizon is the possibility of a short break in March, I say possibility as where the wife works are pretty achaic over notifying of approved leave and ensuring all staff get the occasional weekend off (she works shifts). We have a standing invite to a friend's but need to go at a weekend to save the friend taking time off work!

It's a case of suck it and see at present!

Ich_2

Yeah well suck it and see!!!!

So the good news is that my wife is back home and recovering well.

But

The cellulitis isn't that but one of two things
a benign effect from having the lymph glands removed that has appeared rather late, or something much, much worse and malignant that could lead to chemo therapy!
So the hamster wheel of biopsys, CT scans and waiting for results starts again.
Really hard to think positive thoughts and plan for the future.

Oh and thanks for reading, I'm only known on here to one or two, but I don't want to rant in front of my friends, but will be letting them know

Lara44

((((((HUGS to you Ich))))))) Hope that it's the benign effect rather than something more sinister. Keep on living each day as it comes.

pigpen

My son has T1 diabetes too.. is it still under control with the treatments? He was only dx 16 months ago so it is still all evil in our house.

Everything crossed for benign-ness.. excellent news that the good lady is home

A weekend away sounds just what you need.

(((hugs)))

Ich_2

Just an update
CT scan was clear but biopsy result not yet in! So onto the next stage of radio-therapy.
This means 4 weeks of 5 days a week of treatment that involves a 90 mile round trip!!
Joy!

marisco_2

You are coping with so much. I wish you all the best and hope that this year you get to finally become well and put all the bad stuff behind you. This thread has certainly put alot of things into perspective for me.