Any advice greatly appreciated!

pixie76

...........

Person_one

I'm afraid you might not like my advice!

After only six months with your partner and a year since the end of your marriage, don't jump the gun and go rushing into anything. Wait a bit, don't give up what you have for an uncertain future.

BitterAndTwisted

Get a few agents round to give you an honest opinion on what you could get for it. Then deduct the percentage of that £30k discount you'll have to pay back. It's unlikely that you'd end up with nothing but how many years of rent would it pay for? If you and this new partner don't stay the course how easy would it be for you to afford to rent somewhere you would want to live?

pixie76

It's not so much giving up what I have for my partner, it's really more to do with the fact I don't want to live there anymore & that its in such a state of disrepair & I just don't want to be there whether I was with someone or not...

Person_one

pixie76 wrote: »

It's not so much giving up what I have for my partner, it's really more to do with the fact I don't want to live there anymore & that its in such a state of disrepair & I just don't want to be there whether I was with someone or not...

If you weren't seeing someone, what would you do? What would your options be?

phill99

Why have you cross posted this on the house buying forum?

pixie76

phill99 wrote: »

Why have you cross posted this on the house buying forum?

Because I wanted practical advice about the property & personal advice. Sorry I will delete one of the posts if I wasn't allowed to do this.

tattycath

pixie76 wrote: »

I bought my council house in 2009, it was valued at 92k & I got a 30k discount from the council as I had lived there & paid rent many years previous to that. So got the house for 60k Early last year I separated from my husband, I had a very tough time with him over the years and he was abusive. Because I got the mortgage based on my own income and paid for the mortgage & a lot of the improvements he has walked away from the house & says he will sign papers to stipulate that.His name is secondary on the deeds.

Can't you get him to sign the house over now
Fast forward to this year, I have been seeing someone for the past six months & have stayed at his an awful lot. He is renting a flat and pays £450.00 a month. It is in a nice village type area & I feel happy & less stressed away from my house. am still paying my mortgage (it is just £379.00 a month) .

I would recommend seeing how it goes and keeping your house for now-even though you stay at his alot

Cut to the chase I just do not know what to do anymore. Although it is a smallish monthly payment the house needs extensive work to the kitchen & many of the rooms need re plastered. The place holds bad memories for me & my partner & I have never spent a night at my place. I know long term that we cannot pay for both a flat & a house (two sets of bills for each place as well as mortgage/rent). I am tempted just to say to my ex I don't want it & just walk away. Another option could be to hand it back to the council however I don't know how much it would currently be worth as in a state of disrepair and I could end up owing them money. I could get the work done then rent it out but it is going to cost me thousands of pounds...

I am quite frugal & I would rather pay a low mortgage than throw rent at somewhere but I just don't want to be there & want to move on with my life. I feel at peace & happy with the area my partner is in and would love to stay in this area long term. Sorry for the rant .. I just don't know what all my options are & what would be the right thing to do...Any advice on any of this would be appreciated.

pixie76 wrote: »

I would still be looking to get out of there and try & move on with my life, it holds a lot of bad memories for me.It was never really a place I felt settled & happy in, I guess I bought it as an investment. My ex still has keys for the place & can still come in & out how he pleases. I could spend thousands of pounds getting it up to scratch and he could still come after me for equity.

If you can get your ex to sign the house over to you before you start 'doing it up' and as soon as his name is off the deeds you can have the locks changed so he can't come and go as he pleases. So then once he's signed it over he can't come after you for anything as it will be too late. Having your own property is a great investment/safety net-even though it's not your 'forever' house.

Person_one

pixie76 wrote: »

I would still be looking to get out of there and try & move on with my life, it holds a lot of bad memories for me.It was never really a place I felt settled & happy in, I guess I bought it as an investment. My ex still has keys for the place & can still come in & out how he pleases. I could spend thousands of pounds getting it up to scratch and he could still come after me for equity.

So you need to either find a way to move that doesn't leave you worse off financially (follow B&T's advice for that) or find a way to feel better about the affordable home you have.

If your ex is willing to come off the mortgage, get that sorted ASAP as it will make things easier whichever route you take.

Have you had any counselling at all following your abusive marriage and its ending?

pixie76

Person_one wrote: »

So you need to either find a way to move that doesn't leave you worse off financially (follow B&T's advice for that) or find a way to feel better about the affordable home you have.

If your ex is willing to come off the mortgage, get that sorted ASAP as it will make things easier whichever route you take.

Have you had any counselling at all following your abusive marriage and its ending?

No I haven't received any counselling. I ended the marriage, it took me a long time to do so which is something I will always regret. I was with him over 17 years & was controlled by him. Even now he still tries to control me, my older sons are grown up & he treated them appallingly but we have a six year old & he has a greater chunk of custody of him than I do. ( until recently I worked late hours 13:00-21:00 & he used that against me as he looked after our son). From the moment he was born he took over and became a hands on Father.He walked away from the house but took my son. I miss my son all of the time he is not with me, the place is not a home to me anymore and just miss and want to be with my child more.

Person_one

I think you would benefit from going to your GP and asking for some counselling. You've had a lot to deal with.