The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

graemecarter

Fruball wrote: »

Welcome :hello:



I don't have much restraint at all so you are not alone. I don't seem to be able to do more than one day at a time although I did manage 2 in a row earlier this month.

I worry that I can't control my drinking and therefore will have to give up for life..... only time will tell but I can tell you one thing, when I do manage to kick this habit, I am not up for doing it a second time as it is HARD... So I am actually kind of looking forward to never drinking, if that is how it has to be!

I have no will-power over alcohol. Never did.
I could never work it out as I have will-power over other things like food, spending, love, but not alcohol.

1. I wish I had control over alcohol , but I do not.
   
2. I wish I was a little taller, but I'm not.

These two aspects of my life are facts. I need to accept facts. The sooner I accept these facts, the easier my life is. I can try to deny the facts, to fight against them, to delude myself they are not true. But the facts are the facts for me.

When my safe limit for alcohol is none at all, then the debating society in my head is a little quieter. It was rather noisy when it was always thinking "I'll just have 2 beers" or "I think I can drink until 8pm but then I better leave it" or "Perhaps I am drinking too much"

At least with no alcohol at all, it's quieter!

I only can say my experience and what's right for me.

graemecarter

Green_Karen wrote: »

Thanks Shaggy, while I like not drinking also, if I gave up alcohol altogether, more than anything I would miss having the choice. Such as when it's not drinking for the sake of drinking alcohol but for the flavour, like a nice mulled wine, glass of champage etc when it's more to do with the celebration.

I know how you feel.
However, alcohol is a poison to me because I cannot regulate the amount I drink when I start, and would frequently overindulge.
So it's a shame a I cannot celebrate something with booze, but it is what it is.
And truth be told, I never find it too much of a hardship to go without a glass of bubbly...

mummy2threeboys

Satchmo, im so sorry for your loss and pain , sending you a warm virtual hug xx

1af shaggy ..alas last night wasnt so im feeling a bit tired this morning..gah and i have to do battle with christmas crowds and shopping..double gah!

mrsdee

Morning everyone.
GraemeCarter I would just like to say how enlightening I find your posts and how much I appreciate them. I am beginning to find the axis of my life shifting so the centre is no longer alcohol and I am finding that it is ME instead (getting there).
Had two glasses of fizz last night and stopped. There is a part empty (or full, depending on your view point!) bottle in the fridge. Unheard of in times past.
I am on 16 days AF which I am thrilled about.
Have a good Sunday everyone. Had to go into our local town yesterday and it was HEAVING!!!! Definitely not trying that again unless it's late evening (last hour of late night shopping is always good). Yikes.

Barny1979

Will be AF today, so 19/23 AFDs today

Green_Karen

graemecarter wrote: »

I have a cup of tea EVERY morning. I would hate to stop drinking tea. That's a habit. If I was unable to stop drinking tea, even though I knew it was bad for my health, I would think that would be me addicted to tea.

For me, habits can be stopped (with a lot of will power in some cases), but addictions are a different ball game altogether.

White-knuckling it and just denying myself a drink would have been impossible. However, I had to change myself so I no longer had the desire to drink. That's the only way it works for me. Thus for me (and I only talk for me), distraction, going to bed early, going for a walk, etc wouldn't work.
I needed to change myself (and continue to stay changed) so I no longer have the desire to drink.

Thanks for all your comments Graeme. What you say is so right about the difference between a habit and an addiction, using an example of tea I fully understand where you are coming from, as I would hate to give up tea, but like you I could do it for my health.

I guess I have to find out if alcohol for me is an addiction or a habit, this may mean a few hard knocks and relapses, I don't know, but I need to believe in my own head that I have to stop altogether before I will do it wholeheartedly.

I am really interested in what you mean when you say you changed yourself. So far I have been 6 weeks AF on will power alone and am now finding it really easy to continue (it wasn't at first believe me!). My life is now changing in subtle ways all by itself, but what would I need to do to change myself if I decide to give it up for good and never go back there?

365days

Green_Karen wrote: »

I am really interested in what you mean when you say you changed yourself. So far I have been 6 weeks AF on will power alone and am now finding it really easy to continue (it wasn't at first believe me!). My life is now changing in subtle ways all by itself, but what would I need to do to change myself if I decide to give it up for good and never go back there?

Graeme is an amazing poster.

4 years of being AF has seen me change beyond recognition. You HAVE to change if you are going to give up alcohol. That seems very scary but I can assure you that when you give up drinking you can be whoever you want to be. For me, working out who I wanted to be was harder than becoming that person. Hope that makes sense.

Baileysonice

Hi everyone

Yes I think the habit is very hard to break the triggers can be such a pull - sunday dinner with an nice glass of wine, great night on tv calls for a glass of wine, friend visiting must have a glass of wine etc etc.

Step by step is best for me and today I am calling as I wont be drinking now so thats 7 AF days for me.

Roast dinner was lovely though even without the accompanying wine . Working tomorrow so should be starting the week well.

PriceySOS

17 please, Shaggy, thanks

Green_Karen

It's 24 AF days for me tonight thanks Shaggy.