The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

satchmo1

Hm, should I opt for 29/30 to take account of darling husband's birthday on 8th, or the full Monty of 30/30???

I proved I had no stop button last week.

mrsdee

hello everyone
41, you sound so lovely, you are a friend for sure!
Shaggy, I'm still on 16/20 for this month and that is where I end the month as I am on hols now and will be having alcohol (in moderation) whilst away. Thanks so much everyone for the support on this thread...
As for target for April.... Based on holiday and weekends etc, I'd like to go for a target of 16 please!!
Thanks and have a good Easter everyone.
xx

41_and_i_know_it

Thanks mrsdee my friend lol. hope all those going away on hols have a good time and feel refreshed on return. I am going to Brean Sands, Somerset on 6th April so I prob won't be around for a week then. For April I don't know what my target will be yet, really want to say 30 days, but that is a long time and I got a week in caravan with partner (arrrrggghhh) and night out on 20th so i will have a think and let you know shaggy. xxx

grandmasam

Morning all,
Stay positive 41,and enjoy the break.Amazed that i didn't miss the booze so much last night, and slept better than i have for a long time! In fact, i didn't wake until 8.30am,usually up at7!
However taking it 1day at a time and sticking to the flavoured water and getting on with the knitting.
Long walks planned over easter so that will tire me out,
Thanks all
Caz

maman

Have a good weekend everyone. I'm off to Liverpool, so have thermals packed!

I'm planning a drink tonight. I know it's a feeble excuse but I have a couple of glasses of a good wine in the fridge and don't want to waste it.

I know giver-uppers would pour it down the sink but I'm going to finish it then switch to tea!

Not planning an AF weekend but firmly back on wagon next week. What I do know is that thanks to my lovely friends on this lovely thread, my drinking will be moderate and I won't be making a fool of myself.

CuppaTea

HELLO!!!!!!

Just thought I would get that in first.

And the good news is no i haven't fallen off the face of the planet or into a big vat of alcohol, i have just been too busy with life to log in much. I honestly wish I had more hands and hours.

AF wise I have almost become tee-total these days, through choice. I have had 4 drinking days this month (all 2-3 measured units), so felt in control. Lately I have found myself just not wanting it, its not actually a though process of "having to wait until my allocated day", its been more I don't fancy it/need it and even when I would have had a drink i.e. last saturday night, I didn't. So I am well pleased with that change and its exactly where I wanted to be. For now (as I know its easy to change back) I am a take it or leave it person, mostly leave it.

Tomorrow I am going out with some girl friends, they offered to get a taxi but I suggested driving, they double checked as its my night without the kids, but I really don't want a drink. Happy to have OJ and lemonade.

I find myself recalling events/conversations/things I have done with shame which are related to alcohol. I'm sure it was a factor in my marriage ending. I wouldn't say I was a full on alcohlic, but I was certainly heading that way, I drank nearly everyday and engineered events around alcohol. I would struggle to go more than a few days without alcohol. Ok actually that does sound like an alcoholic.

But the thing is like any addiction i've had i.e. ED's i've found it hard in the middle of it to see what's going on, but once I make changes and stick to them, I look back in horror at what I did. I feel so ashamed about what I was. Thing is on the outside I was fully functioning, most people would never have known.

I wish my husband was still here to see all the changes i have made. I know its was two way our split, he never mentioned the alcohol, it was always me nagging and my ED that bothered him most. I guess I drank more because I was unhappy, felt unappreciated and taken for granted. It led to bad habits and he fell out of love. Its coming up 10 months now, I still love him and find him attractive, the kids and I would love to be a family again, but I know there is too much water under the bridge. No going back.

I feel lonely a lot, i have a lot of responsibility and sometimes its overwhelming.

I came down with a heavy cold sunday afternoon, my body ached, sore throat, headache, blocked sinus's etc and felt really awful. I dosed up so I could work monday and tuesday, by tuesday eve I still felt ill, but went to my divorce/seperation recovery group. Glad I went but could have done without it. When I woke up Wednesday morning, I couldn't get out of bed, I felt sooo soo ill. Luckily the children were little superstars, they got their cereal/milk themselves (they are 5 &6), and as I couldn't get up to make them toast, they bargained a biscuit , they got dressed, did their teeth and hair and put their bookbags, coats, shoes etc by the front door ready. They even changed the toilet roll without being asked. My neighbour took them into school.

I spent all day in bed and lounging on the sofa, I really missed my husband (Bill) and was wishing he would walk through the door like nothing had happened and look after me. I miss what we had, our family unit. By the afternoon I was being sick, so I had to ask Bill if he could come and take them as I could barely look after myself. He did for which i am very grateful for. It was so hard though when he collected them. I didn't expect to feel so sad. He just stood by the front door whilst they kids got ready and although he asked how I was, it wasn't the same as a loving husband would have done. I wanted to be nursed and looked after. With the kids gone it felt empty and like I was being penalised again for my marriage ending, being ill alone. Don't get me wrong I am very grateful, its just i wanted them around me, distraction, the nuture/love of a husband etc, not lying there alone.

Today I am on the mend, not 100%, but a lot better than yesterday. As Bill was due to have the little people on friday as usual, we have agreed they can stay with him/his parents will look after them today whilst he works and I can recoup. I think I just got so run down doing everything for so long, my body forced a full stop.

So a post with some positive and negative bits. Totally unedited, but today this is me!

Lilith1980

27 AFD for me please Shaggy.

And I would like to aim for 30/30 for April

The landlord came yesterday to take pictures for insurance purposes as the water had leaked into the boiler due to the guttering leaking. It's actually his fault as he did a botch job but I guess if he can claim on the insurance that's better for him.

We only have the gas fire in the living room for heat, so we are huddled around that. We have no hot water so having to go to the gym for our showers - it's the most we have used the gym :rotfl:

We are going to Silverdale in Lancashire tomorrow for 2 nights. We tried cancelling as we could have done with saving the money for when we (hopefully) move to the rental house we want. But the B&B needed 2 weeks notice, otherwise we'd have to pay in full. So better to go and have a break than pay and not be there I guess

CuppaTea

Lileth, despite all what's happening you sound quite chirpy. Well done you for staying positive.

Plus think of all the moneysaving you have done not buying any alcohol, that must have made a big difference. I read on one of your posts over xmas you and your OH clocked up 80+ units, you must be so proud to have achieved all you have.

Said in a non patronising way of course :-)

shaggydoo

Evening :hello:

Reaporting in with 1 more AFD and wishing you all a



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

grandmasam wrote: »

Thanks for the welcome Shaggydoo :wave:
How do i join? At the moment I'm drinking a large glass of v*lv*c lemonanlime still water, as its winotime here!
Feel ok and decided a soaky bath will help me sleep,as don't know if no alcohol will make sleeping difficult? However, probably looking for difficulties!!

Thanks
Caz

Are you wanting to cut down or quit? We run a monthly challenge and you can set a target for an alcohol free day (AFD) from 1 to 30 days or if you don't want to set a target you can join the challemge as TF - Target free.