Real-life MMD: Should I sneakily keep some of ex's deposit for cleaning?

florere

There are a couple of questions which I think are relevant, first how long did she live there and how long did he stay after she left? Second, did he invite her to help with the cleaning before he left? To just give her £300 without saying what the deposit was, is dishonest, whether it is justified or not depends upon how much of the dirt was hers and whether she knew at the time, that he was moving out.

Cimscate

How would you feel if she did that to you.......

magentalady

Should you 'sneakily' keep it? No. If you're going to charge her £100 for the cleaning, she deserves to know that's what you're doing.

The only way I could see you justifying the £100 is if you actually paid £200 for the place to be cleaned - carpet shampooing, window cleaners etc. Perhaps you could work out how much you had to spend on extra cleaning products, and halve that with her too - letting her know that that's what you were doing, of course. But just charging her for the time that you yourself spent doing the cleaning? And without even telling her? No, that's not the answer.

I was once the last to move out of a flat of four people, and ended up doing almost ALL the cleaning myself, so I know it's not fun and I really do sympathise. I was furious and extremely resentful by the time I finished (several days of work), and if this opportunity had presented itself I'm sure I would have briefly considered pocketing the money too. But I would never have gone through with it, because as much as it enraged me to be left to do all the work, it wouldn't have given me the right to steal my flatmates' money.

Two wrongs don't make a right, remember that.

MarkSnelgrove

She left - left it in a mess, and wants £300 - give her £300
Job done
Move on
;-)

XRAT

"The dishonest appropriation of property, belonging to another, with the intent to permanently deprive."

Dishonest - well you're feeling guilty enough to ask
Appropriation - undisputable
Property - money is property
Belonging to another - add her name here!

Well there's your answer, you know you're stealing it.

happyinflorida

How long did you both live there for and how long ago did she move out and why?

Were you cleaning up all your own mess as she'd moved out so long ago?

Why don't people put more information when asking people to give their opinions - grrrrrrr!

If she's moved out ages ago then there is absolutely no way you should hold back any of her money.

It really depends on how much of your own mess you've spent ages cleaning up?

So think about it and how honest a person are you?

If you're honest then do the decent thing - if you have cleaned up some of her dirt too, did you ask her to help clean up? If not - then that's your fault isn't it?

I'd be honest - but then I always have been - people have said I'm too honest!

Do what you think is right and what your mum would be proud of you doing (if your mum's decent and honest that is?!)

legaleagle85

Really? First of all wasn't she kind enough to let you hold onto her half of the deposit? She could have demanded her half back when she moved out, but she didn't.

Secondly, why should she have to come back to clean your mess that likely built up after she left.

Thirdly, for example, if you had decided to employ a cleaner to do half the cleaning it would not have cost you £100!!

Finally, it is HER money!?

Honesty is the best policy here, don't be so tight. Whoever said she had a close call is right!!

eddy237

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I sneakily keep some of ex's deposit for cleaning?

Basic definition of theft.
“Dishonestly”
“Appropriates”.
“Property”.
“Belonging to another”.
“With the intention of permanently depriving the other of it”.

What would Judge Judy say about this? An agreement (contract) was made.

What signals will this send to your next "other half"?

Bound to come back and bite. Karma.

magentalady

anothermoneysaver wrote: »

And fancy a couple living together without being married. What is the world coming to?

Are you joking?

terryfw

What is best for you may also be the ethical thing to do.

You've got a chance to do something you don't have to do that will make you feel proud of yourself every time you think of it for the rest of your life (and ashamed if you didn't).

Tell her she forgot it was £400 and give it to her. She'll have to clear up her new place when she leaves it.

Next thing you know she'll be introducing you to the girl of your dreams because you're the nicest ex she knows!

After all, what would you have done if she had asked for the proper amount - presumably given her the £400 without thinking about it? So because she didn't you can win both ways!