Real-life MMD: Should I sneakily keep some of ex's deposit for cleaning?

nickj_2

if you're really the sort of person to worry about £100 then they are probably better off without you , i would ask her , she may say don't bother about it , or say thanks

el_coucho

I really think you should give her back £400. I'm guessing that if you were living there without her, the mess you cleared up was actually yours. Did you invite her round to help with the cleaning? If you give her back £400 her closing memory of your relationship will be that you were a generous and thoughtful person. If she finds out that you kept £100 of her money without discussing it, it will make you look mean and money-grabbing. This way you can feel magnanimous and be satisfied that you ended the relationship in the right way.

BNT

Whether you should keep some of it depends on how much cleaning was involved and what is would have cost if that had been taken from the deposit.

However, if you do decide that you should keep some of the deposit to cover the cleaning, by all means do so. Just make sure you let your partner know what you are doing. To keep it without saying anything is dishonest.

scarlet_macaw

I don't see this one as a dilemma at all. You must return her share of the deposit in full.

If you then agree to make a (disclosed) deduction for cleaning that is something the two of you can discuss, but you cannot just not tell her about it. As others have said, there is also the question that as she moved out some time before was it her mess that needed cleaning or yours?

MissMills81

Do you normally get paid for cleaning up your own mess?

You agreed with your ex to give her half her money back and you should do so, keeping an extra £100 as a reward for cleaning up after yourself is ridiculous and deceitful. If you had paid someone else to do a deep clean you would be entitled to deduct the cost but that is not what happened. Did your ex bill you every time she carried out some cleaning/housework task when you lived together?

That money is your ex's, it doesn't matter that she cant remember the actual amount deposited and asked for £300 back, keeping the extra £100 is theft.

ellymoo

There's nothing 'measly' about £100. It's a lot of money, in my eyes anyway. However I agree you should be honest. Say to her "Actually the deposit was £400 but bear in mind that I cleaned the whole place so that we could get our deposit back".

We don't know how long the OP was on his own before he left. I would be honest but point out that due to your hard work the two of you got your deposit back and anyone worth their salt would contribute to that. Cleaning a place sufficiently pass the eagle-eyes of a lettings agent/landlord is hard work, harder than doing standard housework, and I'm sure if you are truthful she will accept that. But you have to give her the option, not lie to her.

chocaholicmanc

I am a little otrn on this one. When I moved out of a shared house I cleaned my room and en suite thoroughly, along with giving the kitchen a once over (As there were still 2 people living in the house there was no point doing a deep clean as they were staying several more months). Our other housemate had moved out a month before me and done the same.

The couple still living in the house did not return either of our full deposits telling me repeatedly that they would and telling our other housemate that the landlord had retained some of the deposit for 'cleaning'. The landlord confirmed he'd paid back the full deposit!

We both moved out over a year ago and will clearly not be getting our money back given that the girl in question is now completely ignoring us.

Did you ask her to return to do her share of the cleaning? Whilst I agree that you do deserve something for cleaning the flat (all these people going on about you being petty over £100 have obviously never cleaned an entire flat by themselves!), and I don't think the fact that she moved out first makes a huge amount of difference (assuming it wasn't more than 6 months before you left anyway).

I think that honesty is the best policy. Reverse the situation and think about how you would feel if she did the same. Ultimately neither answer is particularly appealing! If you confess she may demand her full £400, and if you don't you may feel ridiculously guilty and not enjoy it anyway!

anothermoneysaver

If being honest, I think it's too far down the line to withold some of her £400.

In these situations if you'd wanted her to do something towards the cleaning, you had two options.

1) Both clean the flat when she moved out, to a standard of perfection that would get the deposit back and return her £400 then.

2) Invite her back to help clean jointly, and if she refused, organise a professional cleaner and split the bill. (Being dishonest, a mate with an invoice book would do).

Presumably if she moved out early, you would have moved your new mistress in to cover half of the rent anyway, so she should have directly paid £400 to the ex on the switch over date!

And fancy a couple living together without being married. What is the world coming to?

Personally, I'd not get into this situation as I'd not move in somewhere without joint liability on the contract for the duration. That way, if girlfriend decides to leave, she's still under a legal obligation to pay the rent.

Finally, this is moneySAVINGexpert.com and the best way to save money here would be to keep the lot, and expertly come up with a valid reason why.

[Deleted User]

Keep it if you are open about it, otherwise don't.

Fluff15

You should definitely give her the £400 - it's her share. If you broke up on bad terms and you are bitter about her not helping out, then keeping the £100 is just lowering yourself and it's very petty. Give it back and leave it with a clear conscience knowing you did nothing wrong.