How do you know...

claire16c

MrsDrink wrote: »

May I ask another similar question?

Do you become 'ready' when the doubts subside? Or are the doubts always there?

*I don't mean doubt about wanting one, I mean doubting your ability or preparedness etc

Maybe that depends on your previous experience?

For example some of my friends who had babies who hadn't had much experience around young children themselves, were still ready to have children but were perhaps a little nervous about actually physically looking after a baby. Whereas for those with experience it didn't even cross their minds.

Or it could be a doubt because you've come from a family with no good parental role models. So you fear you could turn out to be like them - or perhaps it spurs you on to be the opposite and be a great parent.

For myself I have no doubts I don't even know what I would have doubts about. The only thing that concerns me is having a healthy baby - I'm not worried about anything on my part. I know my DH wants to be a better parent than his were - but I don't think he doubts he can do it.

Money wise we've waited until we are in a good position so we don't have doubts about that.

Octobergirl

Dark star has it spot on. I remember asking the same question, and i'm delighted we had children, they are my life, but boy....its been a huge culture shock and flippin hard work. Tbh I am at times, very envious of my child free sil.

We left it until we were financially secure, home, a bit of life behind us, travelling etc I think that made the transition even harder.

creditcarddebt

I think that no matter how ready you think you are it will be one massive shock when the little one arrives!!! No amount of preparation can prepare you for the huge overwhelming feeling of how life will never be the same again! Don't get me wrong, I adore my children, there is a 9 1/2 year age difference between mine and it has been a bit of a shock going back to a new baby! There are times when I miss being child free, but thats mainly because life is so busy when there are children to look after, especially when trying to fit work in too. But I would not change being a mum for anything!

I think as long as you know you want a child, and can provide it with love and stability then that is the most important thing.