How do you know...

System

For me it was an overwhelming need.

pinkshoes

Only_a_ginger wrote: »

...If you're ready for a child?

When you cry with joy at a positive pregnancy test rather than thinking "oh sh*t!".

liliesnlace85

I guess when you know, you just know. You obviously need to be in a loving, committed relationship with someone who is ready to have a baby too. And you also need to be financially ready - have you considered whether you can all survive on one salary and still be comfortable enough to pay the mortgage/rent and bills as well as buy all the baby equipment etc that you need? And do you have the support of your family and friends?

Only_a_ginger

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Imagine how you'd feel if you were pregnant now.

If it's anything other than joy, you're not ready.

HBS x

I think it would make me question my gender :rotfl:

marisco_2

Only_a_ginger wrote: »

...If you're ready for a child?

Nothing prepares you for becoming a parent. It is the single most amazing, exhilirating, exhausting, challenging, bewildering, overwhelming yet wonderful experience you will ever go through in life.

Personally I decided not to have children till I had a nice home, had reached a decent level in my career and felt secure financially. Everyone is different though and what worked for me may not be what others consider important before having a baby.

I spent years travelling and living a very spontanious lifestyle. Having children has not stopped me from enjoying the holidays and lifestyle I want but they certainly impact on where we go and how far in advance we have to plan things.

You will know when you are ready

sillygoose

...is never when you think your ready... 1st time we were 'ready' it then took 16 months to conceive (long story) then of course another 9 months to arrive. (over ready!)

2nd time OK will be ready in a years time.. knock me down it only goes and happens on the FIRST 'deed' so then its only 9 months away not a year or more! (under ready!)

The most important thing is can you and you partner provide a good foundation for your child(ren)? if your arguing, don't agree on major issues and such children will just divide you further. But if your both 'singing from the same sheet' everyone will be happy, especially the child as their world will be a safe, consistent place.

Dark_Star

[SIZE=+1]For those with children - or those thinking about having them![/SIZE]

PREPARATION FOR PARENTHOOD

Taking on a baby is no small matter. It involves loads of multi-tasking. And project management skills. And leadership. And courage. And piles of sweets. And high-speed Internet access. And a 20-gig hard drive. Hold on, that's one of my other guides. But are you actually ready for it?
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple exercises for expectant parents to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.

1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for nine months. After nine months, take out 10% of the beans.
   
   Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.
2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it - it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 lbs. At 10 p.m. put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at twelve and walk around the living room again, with the bag, till 1 am. Put the alarm on for 3 am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2.45 am. Get up again at 3 am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4 am. Put the alarm on for 5 am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the furniture and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
6. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube. Using only sticky tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas cracker. Last, take a washing up liquid container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Co-co Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations. You have just qualified for a place on the play-group committee.
7. Forget the Mazda 626 and buy a Ford. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice-cream and put in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a two euro coin. Stick it in the cd player. Take a family size packet of chocolate biscuits. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There....... Perfect!!
8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come back in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk- down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette end, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and each insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you’ve had as muchas you can stand untilthe neighbours come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just, about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child; a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having children.
11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Weetabix and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane. Continue until half the Weetabix is gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a twelvemonth old baby.
12. Learn the names of every character from Postman Pat, Fireman Sam, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Peppa Pig, Dora the Explorer etc. When you find yourself singing "Postman Pat" at work, you finally qualified as a parent.
13. Obtain a giant box of Lego (you may substitute roofing tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

Macca83_2

When you're a grandparent and you can hand them back at the end of the day...

MrsDrink

May I ask another similar question?

Do you become 'ready' when the doubts subside? Or are the doubts always there?

*I don't mean doubt about wanting one, I mean doubting your ability or preparedness etc

barbiedoll

Loving Dark Star's post!

And even when you're as ready, willing and able as you can possibly be, you'll bring home your little bundle of joy and suddenly it will hit you.........

"WHAT WAS I THINKING?????"