Family going on and on

VK-2008

Has anyone any experience of a family member going on and on and on and on . . . . . .

well my dh and i are trying for a child (numerous years and counting) we state to my dh sister and advise her of this, only for a month later for her to announce her pregnancy but then go and and on about it. now i am more than happy about my little niece of nephew that they are having but it seems all they do is moan about it.
she never kept good health before it and is moaning it is making her health worse, every two minutes we get im sick, im sore blah blah blah i cant do this i cant do that.
now the thing is she has had two chilren already so knows the score onhow it works so why continue to moan?

am i being unreasonable?
i have loads of pregnant friends at the moment and i am more than happy for them too, i even go out baby shopping and what not with them, but they dont seem to brandish the fact they are pregnant all the time

i know people will say the best thing to do is talk to her but shes the type of person that just wont listen

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

arbroath_lass

I've been in the same position so I can understand how upsetting this is. TBH it doesn't end after they have the baby either. "Oh we can't do that we have the children" (to perfectly normal suggestions not weekends away getting drunk, lol).

I don't think they mean it, though. They just can't understand how hurtful it is.

Next time she mentions feeling sick jump in with "Oh I know you are SOOO lucky, I wish I had morning sickness". That'll shut her up (for a bit).

yvonne13_2

OP just smile and nod sometimes saying nothing can halt a conversation.

VK-2008

it's just so infuriating i remember onfacebook she posted that she was trying for a child two months later being so angry that it hadnt happened yet
felt like whalloping my head off a wall
i was like two months seriously ?!?!!?

partialycloudy

Some people are just incentive without meaning to be. To her, her pregnancy is the biggest thing in her life so she will just talk about that.
The thing I hate is "oh just relax and it will happen" and everytime i hear it I want to smack the person in the face...BUT....you have to think they just don't know what else to say, and would you say anything better if the shoe was on the other foot.

dizziblonde

VK-2008 wrote: »

it's just so infuriating i remember onfacebook she posted that she was trying for a child two months later being so angry that it hadnt happened yet
felt like whalloping my head off a wall
i was like two months seriously ?!?!!?

Some people are like this - my personal all-time fave was the woman who got stuck in the bed opposite me on the post-natal ward when I was in for a long-ish stay as my baby came early.

She proceeded to ring everyone in her entire phonebook at 3am (so already one of THOSE women you get driven nuts by on these wards) to tell them of her "premature baby ordeal" - baby was born the day before her due date. By about phonecall number 15 I was fit to insert the blooming phone somewhere that she would only be able to access speed dial on if she'd been doing her pelvic floor exercises!

fluffnutter

Some people are born insensitive. Couple that with an emotive issue like trying for a baby and it's a recipe for frustration and hurt feelings. TBH, VK, there's little you can do to make her realise that she's not being very sensitive because she's simply not going to be the type to understand. She's too absorbed in her own life.

If you spend some time on the trying for a baby or the trials and tribulations of struggling to conceive threads you'll see you're in good company. Every woman who's found falling pregnant difficult will encounter a charmer like this! Just goes with the territory unfortunately.

I remember a woman at work who spent some time telling me how 'sensible' I was that I'd chosen not to have children, how 'lucky' I was without them, how 'exhausting' it is to be a mother. This was the day after I'd found out that my third round of IVF had, once again, failed

fannyanna

You have my symapthies.

I guess there are two options:

* You avoid the situation (her) wherever possible.
* You have a little chat. Explain to her that you are happy for her but at the same time you're struggling with the news at the moment because of your own situation.

I was devastated when my best friend fell pregnant (I'd been trying for longer than she'd been married - yes I know I sound bitter lol). I had to take a step back initially until I was ok with the situation.

Sending you a hug as I know how cr*p you must feel.

This_Year

If it's your husband's sister, can't you get him to have a word with her? She may just be unaware how much she's going on OR it may be you notice it more acutely because of your own difficulties?

It does hurt, I know that. ((hugs))

pukkamum

It may well be that she is trying to make you feel better by saying how hard the pregnancy is but without knowing her I couldn't say this for sure, or it oculd be that she genuinely is finding this pregnancy hard, I breezed through my first two but the third was awful.

Is she just being a bit insensitive? Are you being a bit sensitive?

fluffnutter

pukkamum wrote: »

It may well be that she is trying to make you feel better by saying how hard the pregnancy is..

Hmm! Any woman who's struggled to conceive will gladly trade staring at a negative pregnancy test every month for no end of morning sickness, swollen ankles and the rest of it. In fact, they'd LOVE to feel terrible, knowing as they would that it's because they're finally growing a little baby.

The idea that you could say to someone 'Ooh, not pregnant yet? Don't worry. Being pregnant is horrible. Look how awful I feel! You're so lucky!' in an attempt to make them feel better is mad!

I find it weird that other women wouldn't get that automatically, even if they'd not struggled to conceive themselves.