is it wise to have a baby at 41!!!

smileypigface

Don't tell anyone Donnalove - but I'm 40 this year (my 8 year old thinks I'm going to be 27 ..... goodness knows where he thinks his 16 year old sister came from!!!!)

Also don't tell anyone that I've got the baby hankering too ... can't watch a pram go by without thinking that my time is slipping away.

The decision has been thrown up in the air for me by the fact that I have a new partner (been together nearly 5 years, living together for the last 2 1/2 and talking about sorting out a wedding 'soon'!). I have 3 kids, he doesn't have any ...... not sure how much of my hankering is age-related and how much is due to the stage of our relationship ... but I do know I have the hankering!!!!

I keep trying to make myself look at my youngest (8 year old) and think how wonderful it is that he is becoming so independant ...... and think of the health risks for me and a new baby and how that could affect the rest of the family .....

But .............!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

Spendless

Penny_Watcher wrote: »

I had a terrible yearning for a baby a couple of years ago - I think it was my body trying to tell me "Hurry up kid, it's now or never". My sensible head told me my family was more than complete (3 children of my own plus 2 step children), but my emotional head just kept saying "Baby NOW".

So no advice one way or the other. Just to let you know that in my experience these yearnings for a baby passed after a while.

Good Luck with whatever you choice is.

Actually I went thru something similar, not long after I'd turned 38. At the time my son was 5 and daughter 2. Mine was caused by 3 other mums who all had 2 children (boy and girl, similar ages to mine) like me going in for their planned third around the same time. I did tell DH how I felt and he said it was up to me, but we had a dream holiday coming up 9 months away that had been planned for years so I couldn't 'act' immediately upon these feelings, and a couple of months later my yearnings passed too.

Curious_George_2

I agree with some posts on here that say its probably the 'this is my last chance' syndrome, its human nature to want what you cant have,
im pregnant, 30 years old and exhausted, and i only have one other child to run around after, with the problems your other children have and the fact that you know its going to be difficult.... have you thought about getting a pet?
i know its not quite the same thing but a dog is a huge responsibility (like a baby! lol) you have to go through the toddler/puppy stage with it... but its just not as stressful, expensive or damaging to your body!!

donnalove

Curious_George wrote: »

I agree with some posts on here that say its probably the 'this is my last chance' syndrome, its human nature to want what you cant have,
im pregnant, 30 years old and exhausted, and i only have one other child to run around after, with the problems your other children have and the fact that you know its going to be difficult.... have you thought about getting a pet?
i know its not quite the same thing but a dog is a huge responsibility (like a baby! lol) you have to go through the toddler/puppy stage with it... but its just not as stressful, expensive or damaging to your body!!

we have a dog a 6 year old staffy, we have an owl, and 3 rabbits.
Hubby keeps wanting another puppy as until 3 years ago we always had 2 dogs, but i don't want another dog. But you know when i think of the reasons why i don't want another dog,you could say the same for a baby:rolleyes:

smileypigface your secrets safe with me

kittymary

Justie wrote: »

I wouldn't recommend you being sterilised as I think (could be wrong here) that you would then need to be on hormones for the rest of your life which would kind of negate the benefits for you.

You definitely wouldn't need to 'be on hormones' due to sterilisation. All sterilisation involves is closing off the path from the ovaries to the uterus- normally by putting small clips on the fallopian tubes. Sterilisation has no effect on hormone production, as your ovaries are unaffected. You would continue to have periods just as before with no need for any extra medication.

gertie

Hello there

I had an unexpected arrival at the age of 40, having had 2 children in my 20s.

You do feel more tired carrying and are more suseptable to odema etc. and after giving birth yuou feel like a 57 bus has run you over and it does take longer to get over. It is more tiring bringing them up and coping with the sleepless nights etc. However, mine is now a teenager and I can not tell you the joy and laughter she has brought to our life.
There are still things that I sometimes get concerned about such as how long will I be around for her, will I be here if she has a family. But you have to take a day at a time.

My father was 41 when I was born and I never thought of him being old he was just my dad. The only sorrow was that I lost him when I was aged 29.

At the end of the day only you can decide but do think about how your life is now and the blessings you can take from it. Consider deeply the changes that will occur if you decide to extend your family and obviously how your other half feels.

Good luck
gertie.

gertie

Curious_George wrote: »

I agree with some posts on here that say its probably the 'this is my last chance' syndrome, its human nature to want what you cant have,
im pregnant, 30 years old and exhausted, and i only have one other child to run around after, with the problems your other children have and the fact that you know its going to be difficult.... have you thought about getting a pet?
i know its not quite the same thing but a dog is a huge responsibility (like a baby! lol) you have to go through the toddler/puppy stage with it... but its just not as stressful, expensive or damaging to your body!!

Hi

I know it is finding the time but if you can (even if only half an hour) try relaxation tapes. I know the temptation to get on with a "bit of work" if you are lucky and your little one has a power nap in the day but don't, have some me time.

It has taken me an awful lot of years to learn this lesson and only wish I had done so years ago. Good luck and when the baby arrives enjoy, they grow up so soon.

regards
gertie

Penny_Watcher

Curious_George wrote: »

.... have you thought about getting a pet?
i know its not quite the same thing but a dog is a huge responsibility (like a baby! lol) you have to go through the toddler/puppy stage with it... but its just not as stressful, expensive or damaging to your body!!

O. M. G!!! :eek: :doh:

It's just clicked that my 'Baby' thoughts went away when we got our first rescue dog.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

(we now have 3 dogs that have arrived at 18 month intervals ). Thank goodness Mr Watcher has 'been seen to by the vet' otherwise we might have been knee deep in nappies by now.

Spendless

Penny_Watcher wrote: »

O. M. G!!! :eek: :doh:

It's just clicked that my 'Baby' thoughts went away when we got our first rescue dog.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

(we now have 3 dogs that have arrived at 18 month intervals ). Thank goodness Mr Watcher has 'been seen to by the vet' otherwise we might have been knee deep in nappies by now.

LOL, but I can assure you mine went away without acquiring a dog.:D

Kelinik

Edited waffle