Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

Nicki

johnnyl wrote: »

why

you wouldnt put up with the police harassing you even if you hadnt done anything wrong. There has to be a legitimate reason to stop you.

One conversation with social services is not harassment, and the police will often question people to rule them in or out of their enquiries even if they have not been accused of doing something illegal - eg if you are seen in the vicinity of a serious crime, are seen photographing a public building before a crime there has been committed, etc. Also not harassment, just a necessary and proportionate annoyance to one individual to protect the civil liberties of the majority.

johnnyl

Nicki wrote: »

One conversation with social services is not harassment, and the police will often question people to rule them in or out of their enquiries even if they have not been accused of doing something illegal - eg if you are seen in the vicinity of a serious crime, are seen photographing a public building before a crime there has been committed, etc. Also not harassment, just a necessary and proportionate annoyance to one individual to protect the civil liberties of the majority.

contrary to popular belief the police just cant stop you and do that, its just that so many people dont know it. Just have a quick look at what happens when police unknowingly do the same to a lawyer or someone in the know....there re some comical videos of it.

It is just a case of some people being given a false sense of authority, misusing authority or having authority that does not befit their level of competence. They should be challenged on it.

johnnyl

365days wrote: »

Who said they are harrassing? It's a visit. .

nope, it is recorded. So the next time some so called proffesional wants to misjudge you they have a quick look and "well !!!!!! me" you've been looked at before. So now, you have "form for this" even though your accusers dont have to present any evidence. It doesnt take a lot for a nice portfolio of completely unsubstantiated things to be on your file for you to be suspected of things in the future.

If these people have anything to say, fine. Present it in court.

365days

johnnyl wrote: »

contrary to popular belief the police just cant stop you and do that, its just that so many people dont know it. Just have a quick look at what happens when police unknowingly do the same to a lawyer or someone in the know....there re some comical videos of it.

It is just a case of some people being given a false sense of authority, misusing authority or having authority that does not befit their level of competence. They should be challenged on it.

You are so right. I should of turned the police away the other night when they knocked on my door following a murder on my street. I should of said 'Have you got a warrant to speak to me. I know my rights' That would of helped them solve a serious crime so much quicker. I'll remember your advice. Thanks so much.

arbroath_lass

johnnyl wrote: »

no it is not if it is backed up with a valid reason. The OP had already had interaction with the HV and chose not to have anymore for perfectly valid reasons. At that point the suspicion ends because there is a logical reason not to continue with the HV and no evidence of anything bad.

Who said the HV was "suspicious" all she has done is referred someone according to procedures. Whether or not the OP has a "valid reason" is not her decision to make.

johnnyl

365days wrote: »

You are so right. I should of turned the police away the other night when they knocked on my door following a murder on my street. I should of said 'Have you got a warrant to speak to me. I know my rights' That would of helped them solve a serious crime so much quicker. I'll remember your advice. Thanks so much.

again, you resort to hyperbole rather than address the real point. Nobody has said that police shouldnt investigate a crime. What they cant do is randomly walk around stopping people with no basis to do so. There needs to be a reason and likewise there needs to be a reason why this HV thought something was wrong. Opting out is not a reason because

a) its her legal right to do this

and

b) that decision was explained.

a and b above negate the suspicion. All you have now is nothing more than an opinion and that opinion should be challenged.

Nicki

johnnyl wrote: »

contrary to popular belief the police just cant stop you and do that, its just that so many people dont know it. Just have a quick look at what happens when police unknowingly do the same to a lawyer or someone in the know....there re some comical videos of it.

It is just a case of some people being given a false sense of authority, misusing authority or having authority that does not befit their level of competence. They should be challenged on it.

I probably count as someone in the know, being a lawyer myself :rotfl:

Of course the police can stop you in the street and ask you a few questions, or call on you at home and do the same. What they CAN'T do is arrest you there and then if you refuse to answer those questions. However, if you do refuse to answer legitimate questions for no obvious reasons, then the police can perfectly lawfully look into you a bit further, and if by doing so they find something which gives them a reasonable suspicion that you have committed an offence, then they CAN arrest you and your failure to answer questions at that point will be used as evidence if you are then charged with a crime.

So, I guess for most of us who aren't crackpot paranoid conspiracy theorists, its a choice as to whether we calmly and politely answer the question the police officer has asked and carry on our business, or whether we mouth off, stomp off in anger, and have the police round asking our friends, neighbours and employers questions about us instead

DevilsAdvocate1

arbroath_lass wrote: »

Is there? As has been pointed out on this thread numerous times, opting out to such an extent IS suspicious.

Everytime I saw my Health Visitor, she would say or do something to completely undermine my confidence. The last time I saw her, I left in tears. So I decided that I wouldn't go to the baby clinic or see a Health Visitor again.

Two of my children did not have any of the checks, though the Health Visitor did come to the house once, just after they were born (that was how it worked in my area then). Despite me not going and essentially just dropping off their system, I was not followed up in anyway.

Perhaps Health Visitors could do with looking at how they operate. Telling a mum her baby looks like a skinned rabbit and that something must be done to make him gain weight faster, does nothing for a mum's confidence. Then turning to the next baby and commenting on how beautiful and chubby that baby is is very hurtful. And I know my experience is by no means unique.

In fact, I'd go as far as saying that I'm surprised as many people continue attending the baby clinic. It isn't suspicious if someone doesn't want to use their services.

Giraffeseeker

When my son was 2 and I was pregnant, I was "reported" to social services.

We had recently moved house and had a large kitchen with a weird brick pantry build into a corner, next to a small step up to the back door (both of which were removed in a subsequent kitchen refit).

My 2 1/2 year old was in there with me while I was putting the shopping away and he was "helping" and he tripped on the step and wacked his head on the corner of the pantry.

I took him to casualty and he was kept in overnight to monitor him as he had a hairline fracture in his skull.

I was not bothered in the slightest that Social Services followed this up with a home visit a couple of weeks later - I knew the circumstances were innocent and had nothing to hide. The lady was very nice and we had a cup of tea and a chat and she went on her way.

If they hadn't followed up I would have been more concerned I think.

Of course this visit is recorded somewhere. Doesn't worry me at all.

If SS want to visit the OP to satisfy themselves that the children are fine, then so be it. If all is OK then that will be the end of it.

Mojisola

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

In fact, I'd go as far as saying that I'm surprised as many people continue attending the baby clinic. It isn't suspicious if someone doesn't want to use their services.

I think you're right about some of the HVs but, because not attending clinics and/or refusing visits is one of the warning signs of a family with problems, it does now raise suspicions.

Of course, confident parents with good family support or families who have experienced bad HVs may also refuse more contact. A follow-up visit should be able to distinguish between the ones to worry about and the others.