How do you and oh manage your money?

ajsexton

We're fairly bad at managing cash.

OH bought the house before I met her, and all the bills are still in her name (due to lazyness only). So each month I put into her account by SO an sum to cover the mortgage payment and she pays electric etc from her wage, its roughly equal, she might pay a little more.

But on the other hand pretty much all the weekly grocery spending I push onto my card and like the PP we spend way too much on food, upto a £100 a week for the two of us.

We also sorted out her CC debts from before we met, transferred one to a 0% card I had and got a new card 0% for her for the rest. They are just about sorted now money set aside for the remaining amount.

Individually we probably spend a fair whack on little things, but as we are starting to get sorted we are looking to start building up some proper savings.

mrsj28

Both of our wages, less £100 each, go into a joint account and everything comes out of that account. The £100 each goes into our personal 'pocket money' accounts and we can spend that on whatever we choose, including gifts for each other for birthdays and Christmas.

It works really well for us, we basically view all of our money as joint but having the 'pocket money' accounts means we don't have to justify what we spend every single penny on, so I can go and buy a new handbag which I don't need and DH can fritter money on downloading apps for his iPad or ordering gadgets from Amazon!

We also have a British Airways credit card which we do most of the spending on and pay off in full every month (from the joint account) so we can collect air miles.

At the moment there isn't a big difference in our wages, but when I'm on maternity leave later in the year we will still pool all our money and view it as 'joint'.

For us it works, as we are never arguing about who owes the other money, or who is paying for dinner, etc! It does mean that we have to take almost all financial decisions together and have made some compromises on our spending habits, but in the long run I think it's saved us a lot of money and hassle!

Roz_V

It's interesting seeing all these replies! So many different ways

We get our salaries paid into our own accounts and then pay equal sums into a joint account. This pays for bills, food & the mortgage and is building up a bit of a slush fund which we use for treats such as takeaways/meals out.

Any other money is ours to do what we like with individually. Holidays etc are split 50/50 from our own money.

I have no idea how much OH brings home each month - is that bad? I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how much I bring in. It's not a secret, it's just never come up as an issue... He does earn more than me though.

pmlindyloo

I am always interested in these threads because it just shows how things have changed as regards marriage.

OK so I am 'old school' and believe that when you get married 'my' money becomes 'his' money and vice versa.

I can understand how people pool money but also have 'spends' for each person (difficult to buy presents for each other for example,) but I cannot understand how people put a percentage into a joint account depending on how much each earns or any other method.

What I do believe is that marriage is a partnership and during that maariage there will be times when one person may have to support the other person e.g. woman has child, man/woman loses job.

Certainly the benefit system is based on partnership and one supports the other in cases of financial problems.

I know people say that it works for us but I do think that the fundamental issue is not about who pays for what but about how you tackle finances. Is one a spender/one a saver? Do you both budget and look at finances together?

All these things need to be sorted before you get married.

I am sad that people view marriage as a mere extension of being single but coming together for ?????????

OK, I can't deny that people have said that this and that works for them but genuinely hope that all scenarios have been looked at before making the decision rather than later regretting the way the finances have been managed.

Sorry to rant a little!

heartbreak_star

Lindy, I could never imagine that - I am my own person and never want to rely on my OH for anything!

Does show how things have changed

HBS x

zcrat41

Hbs - do you not think sometimes that in families it's inevitable to have to rely on others - that's what they Are there for. There have been numerous examples in our family this year: I'm about to have a baby so dh will be picking up more of the slack, his granny needed home care last year in the latter stages of dementia and was paid for by family finances, my mum broke her back last year and couldn't do anything so the family pick up the financial slack. I'm a very independent person normally and it's taken me 2 years of marriage to get to this sharing 'our money' point but I'm so glad

Goldiegirl

We've got a joint bank account, and all our money goes in there, and all the bills are paid from that account.

We have various savings accounts, some joint some sole, and our savings are funded from our joint account.

As lindyloo says it's a partnership, not his and hers.

Also, it's too much like hard work sitting down and working out who pays what.

choccybuttons

Hi

OH wages are very variable. We have separate accounts and both work. My wages are stable so use those to pay the bills. We then use oh money to pay rest if bills, savings etc, money left over from his wages if there is any we split equally

My oh has terrible credit and awful with money so everything is in my name and dd come out of my account.

Its what works for you, I hate it when people bang on about joint bank accounts and if u don't have one your not proper couple.

lindseykim13

We are old skool and have a joint account the second we moved in together. It was easier for all bills to come out of one account. So all wages went in there too.
The only issue it causes after 11ish years is xmas and birthdays as i'm in charge of the money/paying bills ect i know exactly what is going in and out of the bank acc. So i know how much dh has spent on me! and sometimes when we are low on cash i will be reluctant to let dh buy me anything! Apart from that though this is what works for us.

TinyToes

soon as we got a mortgage together we got a joint account. so much easier than saying oh im due you .... or i need ..... from you.

1 account, all money goes in it and all bills and spends come from it. DH gets £10 per week for his own spends (all lunches are bought from shopping budget) and well i have free spend over the rest! but rarely buy myself anything, usually kids.

works for us and i wouldnt change it