Are we worrying too much about our son's schooling?

grandma247

There are yahoo groups for local areas of home educators. It might be a good idea to join one or two not far from you and go and see what it is all about, most groups are very active and have lots of things going on even for preschoolers. If you PM me your general area or county I might be able to send you a link or find out if there are groups in your area.

gocurlygirl

I was concerned re dd1 going to school.mixing with "rough rude children" and being bullied.tbh My health visitor said like will mix with like and altough at one point I did think about home schooling as dd was very shy and seemed very unsettled I was lucky enough to go and help in school every week ,reading etc with kids in the class.she settled especially well when an old fashioned kind teacher just let her come out of her shell at her own pace.She still has a great group of friends all of whom I like and are welcome to come and go to our home(and vice versa).Had I home schooled her she would not have these friendshipships.now 20 she has a good group of friends and an education that has taken her to university,a chance that never came my way.and can now build her own future as she plans.The "posh""good"area is the one where there is more drug/alcohol/behavoir problems now.a relatives child is at private school,they really struggle and 2nd and 3rd child dont go-how do they feel?not as loved,or sad.actually they are worried about no 1 in the real world and believe you me a lot of the kids at the private school were bullies and unpleasant.
As a pleasant byproduct of helping at school I have many young people who stop me to chat and remember my help at school-it is always a shock if they are so much bigger than me! lol.DD 2 more confident would have fitted in anywhere and every child has a place-all you can do is gently guide.:)

koalamummy

Ok minor rant here, but a school and the educational experience your children receive amount to the sum total of what they are willing to take from it.

This is speaking from personal experience, but if your child wants to achieve things and go places then they will one way or another, no matter what obstacles are there. However if you put a disinterested child in the best environment then they still will achieve very little unfortunately because they simply do not want to. Mummy and daddy dearest are there to pick up all of the pieces so why worry?

dll74

gingin wrote: »

My daughter goes to a state primary school in probably one of the most privileged areas socially and academically in the country and we are having huge problems. She's being bullied, cannot concentrate because there are a number of children with behavioural problems who obviously need more support than the school can provide. I'm weeks away from taking her out if it doesn't change.

The Ofsted will tell you here that the SATS results are above national average and the are fewer than average taking free school meals but the reality is whether a child comes from an affluent household or a poor household, they might still be a bully, come from a broken home, have ADHD, or other behavioural problems.


I would go on the gut feeling you get from the staff, see the school in action and most of all try and find someone who else's child is already there, even if it's a friend of a friend of a friend to give you an honest review.

I too was horrified at some of the stories that my twins came back with from their High School (they started first year in August) and think you are right to be concerned however as mentioned children do gravitate towards others who are similarly behaved. We had a rocky start with both my son and daughter (my son more so) but my daughter has some lovely friends alot of which she only met in August and my son "tried out" a group or two who he realised fairly quickly were too troublesome or badly behaved for him. I can't and won't choose their friends but encourage them to make the right choices in the areas where they have control.
I have quoted the above post as ADHD is NOT a behavioural problem although some children do have behavioural problems in adition to ADHD.

SuzieSue

gocurlygirl wrote: »

The "posh""good"area is the one where there is more drug/alcohol/behavoir problems now.

Totally agree with this. You need to find a decent area not a posh or deprived one. My OH's children went to school in a posh area even though he wasn't particularly rich and they were influenced by friends taking drugs etc even though he always brought them up to be anti drugs.

dizziblonde

Hell, I've got one eye on the local schools NOW - and my big girl is 9 months old! Granted I've got a bit of an advantage in that I've taught at about 50% of them locally so know the inside line a bit more than lots of people - but I'm keeping a loose eye on admission numbers and numbers rejected for places already... and I've got my number 1 contender in mind (very very mixed catchment area - some pockets of quite eyewatering mortgages and affluence, some pockets of quite eyewatering deprivation) - but I know we have a LOT of changes afoot in the local area that may well end up shifting catchments quite dramatically over the next couple of years (they keep sticking planning applications in to build like 1000 houses fairly locally which will just swamp all the schools fairly severely - the local NIMBY crew have fought off about 4 applications so far but I think it's inevitable some will get through given enough time and fluffy architects' drawings).

If it comes down to one school in particular where I know behaviour's awful being the only option - I'll home ed... but I'm confident enough to do that (and an ex primary teacher myself anyway).

And yes, as for private schools - they can be very good - or they can be what my mother would describe as fur coat and no knickers - I used to work in one which was downright shambolic behind the front show - but very very good at making the noises parents wanted to hear (to the extent one colleague would sit "marking" work with a pencil, rubbing out the child's mistakes and re-writing them in correctly, faking the child's handwriting to do so - and then just putting a comment about how fantastic the work was at the bottom in red pen... I refused to play that ridiculous game!)... no way on this earth would I have sent a child of mine there!

johnnyl

How very strange.

When a child grows up to be well educated and good mannered the school takes credit. When the child doesnt it is upbringing.

Whodathunkit.

SuzieSue

johnnyl wrote: »

How very strange.

When a child grows up to be well educated and good mannered the school takes credit. When the child doesnt it is upbringing.

Whodathunkit.

Most people don't think that. Most people realise that the way a child turns out depends mainly on the parents. Therefore, parents who want their child to be well educated and good mannered want to send their child to a school where they will find children of like-minded parents.

shirlgirl2004

samwich1979 wrote: »

Yes, my husband has mentioned this several times but i dont know if it would be for us and how it works tbh.
I worry it would be beyond our capabilities and about our son getting the essential qualifications he needs.

You don't need to make it a decision for the whole of your child's "school" years. You could just carry on as you are and I think you'll be surprised how easy and naturally it comes. We teach our children from day one, nothing has to change when they turn 5.

The National Curriculum has very minimal learning requirements for children on a year by year basis. I assume both your husband and yourself are educated past primary level so I don't think there's anything you won't be able to teach at primary level at least.

365days

Interesting read.

I have taught in schools which have been graded by Ofsted through the whole range; Outstanding to Special Measures. My son has attended an 'Outstanding' school, a 'Good school' and a Satisfactory school (New Ofsted name for Satisfactory is Requires Improvement)

I currently teach in school who has just come through an Ofsted. It is in a very deprived area, the SATs results are below average (not suprisingly considering the lives some of our children live) but I would have NO hesitation in sending my child there. Ofsted measures on results. If a catchment has a large number of low ability children they will never get above average results. We have been told that even if EVERY lesson was judged to be outstanding, we would not be classed as Outstanding because of our SAT results. Likewise if a school has fantastic SAT results (because of a bright intake) it does not necessarily mean that the teaching is good.

Please go and visit the schools nearer the time, go with your gut instinct. Does the head know the name of all the children? Or will he treat your child as potential statistic? Do the kids look happy? Or are they buckling under cramming and pressure to acheive results? Find out of you can where the local teachers send their kids. Teachers know what really matters in a school. That's why you may be surprised where they send their own children. Yes, read the Ofsted reports, but put them to one side and visit the schools. You will then know which one will suit your child best.