Son Needs Advice -- Opinions Please

Penny-Pincher!!

lifeisgood wrote: »

Mandles post is spot on. Jehovahs Witnesses are unlike any other religion, they believe they are the only true religion.

JWs have meetings several times a week, and are actively discouraged from socialising with non JWs. It is unlikely that the girl can go out with your son without her parents realising, and they will be very concerned about this potential relationship with him. The elders of their congregation will probably become involved in discussions with her too.

Unless your son accepts "the truth" and joins them, she will have to leave her congregation and is likely to be "disfellowshipped". If disfellowshipped, other members of the cult will not speak to or associate with her any longer, and her relationship with her parents will be difficult.

As Mandles says, the problem is likely to solve itself very quickly, hope your son is not too taken with her.

It would be good to see a post from a practising Witness, but I doubt we will, somehow.

Can one assume that you were bought up as a JW or have had a bad experiance with them?

At least the girl has been honest with your son in such early stages of the relationship. She obviously cares about your son and thinks there may be some kind of future in their relationship for her to have told him. If its meant to be, it will happen.

PP
xx

seven-day-weekend

lifeisgood wrote: »

Mandles post is spot on. Jehovahs Witnesses are unlike any other religion, they believe they are the only true religion.

JWs have meetings several times a week, and are actively discouraged from socialising with non JWs. It is unlikely that the girl can go out with your son without her parents realising, and they will be very concerned about this potential relationship with him. The elders of their congregation will probably become involved in discussions with her too.

Unless your son accepts "the truth" and joins them, she will have to leave her congregation and is likely to be "disfellowshipped". If disfellowshipped, other members of the cult will not speak to or associate with her any longer, and her relationship with her parents will be difficult.

As Mandles says, the problem is likely to solve itself very quickly, hope your son is not too taken with her.

It would be good to see a post from a practising Witness, but I doubt we will, somehow.

AFAIK, they are discouraged from surfing the net and especially taking part in discussion forums with 'apostates'.

Alikay

My mum is a JW too ( funny how loads of people's mums are...not so many dads).
It's likely that she'll keep the relationship secret as they don't tend to get involved with anyone outside "the Truth" as they call it. She will probably be a nice girl though...I've always found them to be helpful, polite and friendly. And there won't be any swearing, smoking, drunkenness ( they DO drink in moderation, though), unseemly behaviour of any kind.....or....sex before marriage. Will he be OK with that?

Mandles

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

AFAIK, they are discouraged from surfing the net and especially taking part in discussion forums with 'apostates'.

And they believe electricity is the work of the devil! LOL . Joking. I know that surfing the internet for them is acceptable.They do talk with regular people like us about anything, including on the internet, even this stuff. They just won't talk with JW haters , usually x witness who have turned a bit sour about it all.
Like poster above said , she will be a very moral and probably nice girl. You have brought your son up to look for someone with good values . To be honest i would be quite proud of the sort of young ladies he is choosing to go out with.
I re read original post and realised that he asked her out and she texted back saying she was a JW . Sounds like its not going to happen as there was probably a purpose to her telling him that.
As i say, i'd be proud of the choices he makes as regards girls he wants to go out with.

Spendless

I worked with a girl who was a JW and she started dating another workmate who wasn't. It was her family that disliked it.

Yorkshirechick

scubaleopard wrote: »

My DS phoned last night . He is in the beginning stages of a new relationship --- you remeber the exciting bit

---

Anyway the girl he is thinking of going out with texted him and said she is a Jehovas Witness as is her family. TBH we are a fairly normal family all the kids have been christened wI go to church occasionaly. MIL a big church goer but 3 children plus OH do Christenings weddings and funerals. i FIRSTLY FELT REALLY IGNORANT BECAUSE THE ONLY THINGS i COULD THINK ABOUT THEM IS THAT THEY KNOCK ON YOUR DOORS AND EVERYBODY WANTS THEM TO GO, THEY DONT BELIEVE IN bIRTHDAYS AND cHRISTMAS AND THEY WONT HAVE BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS. i SAID WELL OF COURSE EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR BELIEFS ETC AND MAYBE A GIRL LIKE THAT MAY BE A BETTER BET THAN A FULL BLOWN LADETTE BUT oh AND dd SAID HE SHOULD GET OUT NOW BECAUSE ALL IT WOULD CAUSE IS COMPLETE HAVOC.
Opinions please ( Sorry bout caps pressed the wrong button!!! 0

Can I just ask - how old is your son?

I was brought up as a JW, my mum and dad and older sister are still JW's, but myself and my other sister aren't.

When I was younger I used to go out with boys and stuff, but it could never be too serious as my parents would have gone mad if they found out.

It's true what another poster has said. If they marry or sometimes even just date people who are outside 'the truth' they can be made bad associates or disfellowshipped. This never happened to me, as I left of my own accord, but life can become difficult for JW's who are in relationships with people who are of another faith. - If you want to ask me any more questions about it, feel free.

Penny-Pincher!!

Do you know if she is baptised?

PP
xx

marleyboy

I'm a Roman Catholic, but I dont go to church and practice it, My OH is a protistant, (I dont even know what that is!) the point I am getting at here is it doesnt matter what faiths your born into, not everyone practices it or indeed can be blamed for being born into a particular religion. If two people love each other enough, thats all that really matters to them, it doesnt mean that one or the other must force their own personal beleifs or faiths onto the other, if both parties are practicing different religious beleifs, they can still carry that on without offending the other.

Yorkshirechick

marleyboy wrote: »

I'm a Roman Catholic, but I dont go to church and practice it, My OH is a protistant, (I dont even know what that is!) the point I am getting at here is it doesnt matter what faiths your born into, not everyone practices it or indeed can be blamed for being born into a particular religion. If two people love each other enough, thats all that really matters to them, it doesnt mean that one or the other must force their own personal beleifs or faiths onto the other, if both parties are practicing different religious beleifs, they can still carry that on without offending the other.

The girls faith will almost definitely cause a problem. Not because either of them will be offended by the others beliefs,
It's the way she will be treated by other members of the faith.

marleyboy

Yorkshirechick wrote: »

The girls faith will almost definitely cause a problem. Not because either of them will be offended by the others beliefs,
It's the way she will be treated by other members of the faith.

I suppose that would depend on how much in love you are with the other, regardless of parantal consent. To rebel against your parents does not mean your rebelling against your religion. My X was a strict church goer, and her parents hated the fact that I didnt go to church every Sunday with her, in the end, as a result of her parents nagging her about it, as well as them having the preist discuss it with her, she gave up going to Church, her parents banished her as a result of her living in sin. But our relationship lasted for 13 years, in that time, her parents accepted that we had lasted longer than most Christian marraiges, and their very preist had instructed them that it is far better to forgive, than to forsake.